homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums   » News, Reviews, Views!   » Our stupid lives   » Socially awkward geeks (Page 1)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!  
This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3 
 
Author Topic: Socially awkward geeks
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 05:42      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have a soft spot in my heart for geeks. For the most part, I find geeks endearing and cute. They are some of the most unaffected and unpretentious people I know. (This is based on my 'real life' experiences, btw, not from anything I've observed here.) And a couple of my favorite geek guys are just plain adorable (to me, anyway).

Having said that, I know that there is a certain disregard, even distain, for geeks in society. The unpopular students are always portrayed as geeks in films or tv shows, for instance. Geeks are always socially inept. They can't get a girlfriend, they're fumblers and klutzes, they look .. dorky. [Big Grin]

So anyway, at Christmas time I met this geek guy at a party. Now HE was the most geeky-in-the-most-negative-sense geek I have ever met. Really, for the first time, I saw a geek in the same way (I think) that society in general sees them. He was sooo clueless. So completely incapable of blending in to 'social norms.' I felt sorry for him, but at the same time, I was annoyed that he seemed so self absorbed that he couldn't interact with other people in a way that they could tolerate. He mentioned having gone to a singles dance (which, to me, suggests that he does have a desire to be social and to date women) and I wondered how he could possibly ever have any success at such an event. (Though maybe just the exact right woman could be there for him. She wasn't this time, though.)

It kind of shattered this whole myth I've had about geeks. I realized there are undesirable geeks in the world.

Just an observation.

Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
WinterSolstice

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 934

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 06:08      Profile for WinterSolstice     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, not all geeks can be Astronomer Jedi [Wink]

In my office some of the most technical (geeky) guys here are actually really attractive and well adjusted. Our Notes guy caused quite a stir I've been told. OTOH, we have a couple business people who, well, let's just say that sometimes you can be a geek without skills of any sort at all. Just a basic loser.

--------------------
An operating system should be like a light switch... simple, effective, easy to use, and designed for everyone.

Posts: 1192 | From: Los Angeles | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Astronomer Jedi
Highlie
Member # 4699

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 06:18      Profile for Astronomer Jedi   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by WinterSolstice:
Well, not all geeks can be Astronomer Jedi [Wink]

There was no payment exchanged whatsoever for this comment! [Razz]

I don't mind having my ego stroked like that though...we all know I need it.

Self-confidence...where are you self-confidence?

--------------------
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

Posts: 606 | From: Perth, Western Australia | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2097

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 07:17      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have sometimes wondered which begats which.

But social misfits are everywhere. From the janitor at the office to the CEO's.

--------------------
Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

Posts: 2434 | From: Somewhere between the gutter... and probably another gutter | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1177

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 08:40      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Is it just me, or does it sound like a certain "boo" is trying to study us? Someone get the fava beans, and I'll go fetch some nice Chianti.
Posts: 1092 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 748

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 09:09      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Is it just me, or does it sound like a certain "boo" is trying to study us?

No, it's not just you.

--------------------
Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

Posts: 2289 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Astronomer Jedi
Highlie
Member # 4699

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 09:15      Profile for Astronomer Jedi   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't mind being 'studied' [Wink]

--------------------
Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?

Posts: 606 | From: Perth, Western Australia | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
BooBooKitty

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 5566

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 11:30      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Stereo:
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Is it just me, or does it sound like a certain "boo" is trying to study us?

No, it's not just you.
My theory is that she's some sort of sociologist doing a study and that we are the subjects of this study. Note the types of posts that she usually writes.
Posts: 796 | From: Montreal, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
Sxeptomaniac

Member # 3698

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 11:54      Profile for Sxeptomaniac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by BooBooKitty:
quote:
Originally posted by Stereo:
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Is it just me, or does it sound like a certain "boo" is trying to study us?

No, it's not just you.
My theory is that she's some sort of sociologist doing a study and that we are the subjects of this study. Note the types of posts that she usually writes.
Except that she immediately went about trying to "fix" our group by establishing her own set of rules. It's not a very useful way to start out studying the group, unless she created a persona to gauge the reaction to certain kinds of behavior. I doubt she's professionally trained in psychology or sociology, though. Personally, I think she considers herself a helpful person, trying to draw us out and "improve" the community.

I tend to study people on a regular basis, so I have no problem if that's what she's decided she wants to do, though.

--------------------
Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. - C. S. Lewis

Posts: 1590 | From: Fresno, CA | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
Stereo

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 748

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 12:02      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by BooBooKitty:
My theory is that she's some sort of sociologist doing a study and that we are the subjects of this study. Note the types of posts that she usually writes.

If so, she flunked her methodology course. Mingling with some subjects definitely skews the results. And defending her own opinions isn't good either, one should rather encourage others to express theirs, without judgement. And GC is hardly a representative set of all the geeks. For one, there are all those who are only lurking.

No, I'd rather think she's still a student, or she's a writer. I'm more inclined toward the latter, as I have noticed how she rarely do as much as a typo in her posts. (Overall, much better English than most.)

Just guessing, anyway.

Oh, and AJ: I do mind. I see GC as some kind of private club (well, membership isn't hard to get, but you get my point) where I can relax, have meaningful converstation, or go wild with friends. Having someone noting what I say and what I do kinda breaks the mood.

--------------------
Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

Posts: 2289 | From: Gatineau, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 12:31      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, Sxepto, you sort of hit on my overall feelings of this thread, if almost by accident. I find the attitude towards said geeks to be insulting, and quite likely the root cause of the problem. If quirky geeks are treated as 'impossible,' then they'll want no interaction with typical people. This is a perpetuating cycle that helps no one, and hurts many.

So, the moral of the story is:
Love your fellow geek as you love yourself.

That's not too hard, is it?

Or how about:
Have you hugged a geek today? [Smile]

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9195 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 12:31      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
... or she could be a real estate agent with no training in psychology who spends too much time thinking about the topics in question and wants to hear other people's opinions.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6361 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
BooBooKitty

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 5566

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 12:58      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Perhaps...
Posts: 796 | From: Montreal, Canada | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 13:22      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by zesovietrussian:
Is it just me, or does it sound like a certain "boo" is trying to study us?

[Roll Eyes]

Oh, believe me, you people aren't nearly that interesting. [Big Grin]

Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 13:27      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
Well, Sxepto, you sort of hit on my overall feelings of this thread, if almost by accident. I find the attitude towards said geeks to be insulting, and quite likely the root cause of the problem.

How is it insulting to relate an experience I had? Did you find it insulting when I said that I found most geeks to be unaffected and unpretentious?

What problem are you talking about?
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:

If quirky geeks are treated as 'impossible,' then they'll want no interaction with typical people. This is a perpetuating cycle that helps no one, and hurts many.

So in your world there are no difficult people?

(Dang it. Steen's on to me.) [Mad]

Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
WinterSolstice

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 934

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 13:29      Profile for WinterSolstice     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've certainly met some Ausperger's types that are geeks - I'm not saying they don't exist.

Just because some people here seem like that doesn't mean that they are [Wink]

--------------------
An operating system should be like a light switch... simple, effective, easy to use, and designed for everyone.

Posts: 1192 | From: Los Angeles | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 13:44      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't even know what an Ausperger type is, WinterSolstice, lol. Unless you mean the man I was talking about. But the geeks I know and love (and mentioned were adorable) are likable, sociable, etc. Yes, they get sort of tongue tied around women, and sometimes they don't have the best fashion sense [Roll Eyes] (such as wearing comic or sci-fi t-shirts) and their hair is usually mussed. [Big Grin] But those are the very things I find so undearing about them.
Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
WinterSolstice

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 934

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 13:57      Profile for WinterSolstice     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Probably because I misspelled it [Big Grin]

Aspergers is a serious mental illness, that tends to be like a socially acceptable form of Autism.

I have a friend with it, and he's not too bad. Usually he refers to it as ADD (though it was diagnosed as Aspergers). 90% of the time he's quite reasonable, though he has his days...

(edit) Here's why it's 'common' among geeks:
AS is characterized by:[6][4]
Narrow interests or preoccupation with a subject to the exclusion of other activities
Repetitive behaviors or rituals
Peculiarities in speech and language
Extensive logical/technical patterns of thought
Socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior and interpersonal interaction
Problems with nonverbal communication
Clumsy and uncoordinated motor movements

--------------------
An operating system should be like a light switch... simple, effective, easy to use, and designed for everyone.

Posts: 1192 | From: Los Angeles | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 14:27      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks for explaining, WinterSolstice. I wouldn't have known, even without the 'u.' [Big Grin]
Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 15:48      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sh*t dude...just about every geek I know is like that. [Wink]

OTOH, I know someone who really has Aspergers, and he's quite a bit to talk to at times. I also know a good friend who believes he has Aspergers, and I think that while he might fit it in some ways, he shouldn't say that unless he speaks to a professional.

boo: There are certainly difficult people in the world, but I don't think you understand what can and has driven many geeks to their potentially uncooperative ways. The 'problem' I spoke of is the treatment many geeks have received from others that leads them to communicating differently, and being less tactful, etc. I also think the idea of "blending in to 'social norms'" is not giving geeks a chance to have a slightly different set of norms that are respected by others. I vehemently object to the concept of 'look at the cute little geeks doing their thing' mentality that stops respecting them as people and instead treats them as a sideshow act to be picked apart and analyzed. Geeks are people, too. [Smile]

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9195 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 16:30      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh brother. [Roll Eyes] Now you're just irritating me. Other people on this forum also jump to conclusions and that is annoying. So, you're not the only one. But as has sadly often been the case here, people are deciding things without the facts. Even more annoying, most don't bother to ask for clarification; instead they (and you in this case) just jump in with a complaint or judgment.

I don't know what you "thought" I meant by social norms, but this is what I was speaking of, specifically. This man showed up at the Christmas get together 2 1/2 hours late. That (imo) certainly does not qualify as a "slightly different norm that is "accepted" by others." People started leaving just minutes after he showed up, because this was something that was only supposed to last a few hours. He then made himself comfortable and overstayed his welcome. He hung on weeeellll after all other attendees had left, until finally, he had to be prodded with a polite, "Well, we need to wrap this up," by the host. That's just one example.

As for your vehement objection that I find some geeks cute, I make no apologies. (btw, none of the men, geek or otherwise, that I have ever found cute have had any complaints.) I do find some geeks cute. The "adorable" geeks I formerly mentioned are both highly intelligent men, but don't seem to understand the correlation between being 27 and wearing Star Trek t-shirts every where they go, and not being able to attract women.

Having said that, some geeks are asses. Which did you suppose you are? [Smile]

Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 16:54      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You're misreading my meaning of 'cute.'

If you want to think I'm an asshole, have at it. I'm not really one, but I play one on TV. [Razz]

I certainly can't say that your individual example of a geek with social issues is representative of all geeks, but I felt a few too many generalizations have been made. I'd also go so far as to call that fellow a nerd, not a geek.

I still stand completely by my take of how many non-geeks perceive and treat geeks, and it's a pet cause of mine that I sometimes just won't shut up about. That said, it's probably a fine time for me to shut up, and I won't say another word.

HAND.

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9195 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 18:32      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sometimes you just make me tired all over.
Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 19:18      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That's undesirabable in a man?

Oh come on. It was right there! [Razz]

A lot of geeks (but certainly not all!) are introverts to varying degrees, and introverts tend to be a bit uncomfortable around lots of people, especially lots of people they don't know. A lot of us also endured varying degrees of ridicule and even bullying in our youth, and that can add a layer of social anxiety to introversion. Furthermore, for wahtever reason, intellectual pursuits are not exactly admired in today's society, so being into something that requires a lot of brainpower (or is rumored to require a lot of brainpower) generates further ridicule. Even into adulthood, which is why I hate it when people ask me what I do because then I have to tell them and then they back away like I've sprouted an extra arm. So yeah, fear of rejection + social anxiety + introversion = awkwardness. I tend to just hide and be quiet, unless some kind and brave soul draws me out, or I'm on familiar ground.

But then there are complete and utter social retards like the guy at that party. I think Winter Solstice may have the right idea on that one.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7667 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
boo
Highlie
Member # 5991

Icon 1 posted March 22, 2007 19:46      Profile for boo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
That's undesirabable in a man?

Oh come on. It was right there! [Razz]

 - D'oh! I walked right in to that.

I should have said, Sometimes you make me tired all over, but not in the good way.

[thumbsup]

Posts: 775 | From: us of a | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time
This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3 
 
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2014 Geek Culture® All Rights Reserved.

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam