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Author Topic: I'm Not Normal
GMx

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Icon 6 posted March 06, 2005 11:26      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
But then you knew that. [Big Grin] In this article Secrets and Lies of 'Normal' guys, it details the answers men gave to a questionaire.
  • For $1 Million, 60% would spend six months in jail for something they didn't do. (Chump change, I say. I'd rather have my dignity and reputation)
  • More than half of the men were uncomfortable with the thought of a woman as President. [Roll Eyes]
  • 53% would take two tickets to the Super Bowl over a night out with a beautiful woman. (All I can say to that is-DUMBASS!)

I'm glad I'm not like "normal" men. [Razz]

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Snaggy

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Icon 3 posted March 06, 2005 13:10      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The average Joe spends 730 hours a year thinking about sex - almost two hours a day

Ridiculous!

mmmmm boobies......

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n4dmx
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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 13:31      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Puh-lease! I think about sex way more often than that! [Razz]
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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 14:04      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think that's a typo, it should read

"The average Joe spends 730 hours a year not thinking about sex - almost two hours a day"

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Allan
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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 14:13      Profile for Allan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GMx:

  • For $1 Million, 60% would spend six months in jail for something they didn't do. (Chump change, I say. I'd rather have my dignity and reputation)
  • More than half of the men were uncomfortable with the thought of a woman as President. [Roll Eyes]
  • 53% would take two tickets to the Super Bowl over a night out with a beautiful woman. (All I can say to that is-DUMBASS!)


  • Maybe in solitary confinement but there's no way I'd be being anyones bitch for that
  • Yes, like the man is making such a fine job of it
  • Go Vikings!!

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 15:01      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GMx:
  • 53% would take two tickets to the Super Bowl over a night out with a beautiful woman. (All I can say to that is-DUMBASS!)

Hmm, depends. Are they at the 50 yard line?

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

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jordanv
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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 15:23      Profile for jordanv     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
only 35 percent admit they enjoy sex more than money.
... [Eek!]
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ewomack
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Icon 1 posted March 06, 2005 19:08      Profile for ewomack   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Bloody Victorians!! Will we never leave that prudish phase of humanity!?!!?!?

Ok..35% ADMIT it. That leaves 110% who BELIEVE it.

Of course, sometimes one leads to the other... or vice versa...

Ok, I'm done.

--------------------
Ed Womack
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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 06:49      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
On Money

What would men do for a buck?

For $1 million, 60 percent would take the rap for someone else and serve six months in jail; 7 percent would commit murder for $3 million; 25 percent would abandon their friends and home and even change their race or sex for $10 million. About one in five would swallow a worm for $300.

I would go to jail for 6 months for $1 in a second. I'm a big guy, I'd be nobody's bitch. I'd just sit in my cell and think about how I'm going to spend the money for 6 months.

Murder for $3M. No.

Change race or sex for $10M? Race maybe, sex no.

Swallow a worm for $300? Where do I sign up?

quote:

What about the moolah they have now?

Most carry $104 in cash and change. Most have eight to 10 credit cards - and are $3,932 in debt. (That's $1,348 more than the average woman owes.)

I carry $0 on me at all times. I only use my debit card. I have 3 credit cards with a total balance of about $5500 CAD total (high, I know. :S)

quote:

Men think about money almost as much as they think about sex, though only 35 percent admit they enjoy sex more than money.

I think about money more often than sex because it hangs over my head. I enjoy sex more by a long shot.

quote:

On Love and Sex

Are men experienced?

Most men lose their virginity at 16.2 years old, and have 17 lovers in their lifetime. And 17 percent of men married the first women they had sex with.

I was 15 when I lost my virginity. It was about 3 weeks before my 16th birthday. 17 lovers? I'm on #6, and I wholeheartedly intend on her being the last, really.

quote:

How often do they get it on?

The average man has sex 138 times a year (almost three times a week), with each session lasting 28 minutes - including foreplay. For a man in a long-term relationship, that number drops to just 16 minutes.

If it were up to me, I'd get it on at LEAST twice a day. But, alas, my girlfriend isn't exactly up for that sort of craziness. [Big Grin] The norm is about 4 times a week.

quote:

Married men only do the deed six times a month, but wish they could double that number.

I'm not married. [Razz]

quote:

And the rest of the time?

The average Joe spends 730 hours a year thinking about sex - almost two hours a day - but only 22 hours a year having it.

I probably think about sex more than 2 hours a day.

quote:

Where's the craziest place men have had sex?

One in five says while driving; 20 percent say they've gotten busy in the back of a cab; 13 percent are in the Mile High Club.

I've done it while driving, never in a cab, and I'd like to join the mile high club. [Big Grin]

quote:

A shocking 44 percent have done the deed while on the job.

Me too. [Razz]

quote:

What do men consider kinky?

Twenty-eight percent would suck someone's toes; 8 percent have tied up a partner or been tied up; 13 percent have tried on a bra.

Sucking toes is .. weird. I wouldn't do it.
I've been tied up. Rawr.
Never tried on a bra.

quote:

What kind of women do men want?

Guys' No. 1 physical attribute in a woman is her legs. Eighty-one percent say they prefer their partner to have "medium-sized" versus "voluptuous" breasts.

My #1 favourite physical attribute is face. Smile. Eyes.. etc. Body-wise, it's breasts. I'm a breast man. And I would prefer smaller, (like a B), nice breasts than big ones.

quote:

But despite Sen. Clinton's popularity, more than half of men are uncomfortable with the idea of a woman in the Oval Office.

Canada's already had a female prime minister, albeit an appointed one -- I have no problem with it. Probably make too much sense. :S

quote:

Men and Food

The typical guy eats 78 pounds of chicken a year, a tad over 50 pounds of pork, 15.6 pounds of fish and 23 pounds of pizza.

I probably eat more than 78 pounds of chicken, less than 50 pounds of pork, less than 15 pounds of fish (but not by choice) and more than 23 pounds of pizza.

quote:

What's their favorite food?

For a last meal, most death-row inmates ask for french fries over anything else, followed by hamburgers, T-bone steak and fried chicken, with ice cream for desert. The average free man's favorite dinner is also a burger and fries.

Lobster.

quote:

Where do guys draw the line?

Fifty-six percent live by this rule: If food falls on the floor, it's still good for five seconds.

If it's still warm, I don't care if it's been there for a minute. I'll eat it.. *shrug*

quote:

In the closet

Do men consider themselves fashion plates?

Fifty-five percent think they're dapper; 19 percent flip through fashion magazines.

I don't quite understand this sentence. But fashion isn't my thing. If it's clean, I wear it.

quote:

Boxers or briefs?

Forty-two percent prefer briefs, while 36 percent choose boxers and 3 percent opt for bikinis. Married men change their underwear twice as often as single guys.

Boxers. Changed every day, thanks. [Razz]

quote:

Things men covet

Sixty-nine percent have a DVD player, while only 51 percent have a digital TV; 7 percent have TiVo; 14 percent have a wireless device like a BlackBerry or Palm Pilot; and 68 percent have a cellphone.

I have 4 dvd players (or so), a big screen digital tv, no tivo, and I have a blackberry (that is a cell phone aswell.)

quote:

How important is the Super Bowl?

Fifty-three percent would take two tickets to the game over a night out with a gorgeous woman.

I'd take my gorgeous woman over the superbowl any day.

quote:

Beliefs and Ethics

Do men lie?

Ninety-one percent do it regularly. Men are more likely than women to fib, and the younger they are, the looser they are with the truth.

I don't lie very often at all.

quote:

About what?

Eighty-six percent say they've lied on a job application; 47 percent either have or would understate the number of previous partners in order to make it with a new prospect; 44 percent have said "I Love You" when it wasn't true.

I've never lied on a job application.
I've never understated number of previous partners.
I have said I love you when it wasn't true. Never again. :S

quote:

Competitive

Men are so competitive, in fact, that 89 percent of men admit to measuring their manhood.

[blush]

quote:

But they are less inclined to measure success by achieving CEO status. Sixty percent shudder at being top dog.

I would love to be a CEO.

quote:

Are they hot?

Men are most likely to desire liposuction, blepharoplasty (eyelid surgery), rhinoplasty and gynomastia (breast reduction). One in five plastic-surgery patients is male.

I don't particularly like the way I look physically, but I wouldn't want *ANY* physical work done to me. Most of the stuff that bugs me could be fixed without surgery.

quote:

What's their beauty secret?

Eight percent have had a chemical peel or skin resurfacing; 6 percent of self-defined straight, rural men use nail polish. Six percent use bronzers or foundation; 9 percent have body hair removed with a laser or by electrolysis.

Never done or used any of that.

quote:

How do they keep their body hair in order?

Ninety-three percent shave areas other than their face; 21 percent shave their pubic hair; 16 percent shave their chest; 10 percent shave their underarms; and 8 percent remove their back hair.

[Eek!]
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Stibbons
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 07:48      Profile for Stibbons   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
One in five says while driving; 20 percent say they've gotten busy in the back of a cab
Do you think that they are the same guys? [Razz]
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Too Cool To Quit
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 09:16      Profile for Too Cool To Quit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Uhm... I prefer not to speak...

/me covers nails...

--------------------
Alright now, that's the last straw, I'm calling the ass taxidermist to tell him to stop making hats in your size RIGHT NOW.

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 09:50      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
quote:
Where's the craziest place men have had sex?

One in five says while driving; 20 percent say they've gotten busy in the back of a cab; 13 percent are in the Mile High Club.

I've done it while driving, never in a cab, and I'd like to join the mile high club. [Big Grin]


Okay, this confuses me. How does someone have sex while driving? While in a moving car I can understand, but if one of you is at the wheel I just don't see how that would work. Is fellatio substituting for sex here, because otherwise I just don't get it. [Confused]

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 11:44      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
quote:
Where's the craziest place men have had sex?

One in five says while driving; 20 percent say they've gotten busy in the back of a cab; 13 percent are in the Mile High Club.

I've done it while driving, never in a cab, and I'd like to join the mile high club. [Big Grin]


Okay, this confuses me. How does someone have sex while driving? While in a moving car I can understand, but if one of you is at the wheel I just don't see how that would work. Is fellatio substituting for sex here, because otherwise I just don't get it. [Confused]
Drive a full sized van with big bucket seats, girl wearing a dress sits on your lap (in a manner of speaking), and turns sideways so that her feet are between the front seats and bends down so your ability to see the road is not inhibited.

enjoy. [Big Grin]

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Too Cool To Quit
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 11:47      Profile for Too Cool To Quit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
/me tries to clear horribly awesome graphic image from his mind...

/me gives up... who would pass on a fantasy like that...

I think I'll... wave a hank.

--------------------
Alright now, that's the last straw, I'm calling the ass taxidermist to tell him to stop making hats in your size RIGHT NOW.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 12:15      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
I would love to be a CEO.

I am one (and the only employee) can't say I'd recommend it.


quote:
quoth Peebs
Okay, this confuses me. How does someone have sex while driving? While in a moving car I can understand, but if one of you is at the wheel I just don't see how that would work. Is fellatio substituting for sex here, because otherwise I just don't get it. [Confused]

Ask Bill Clinton. [evil]

I was driving behind a car once which started weaving about the road quite erratically, I assumed the driver was drunk, but then then it returned to its correct lane, and a blonde head appeared in the passenger seat. Presumably this is the kind of thing the 1 in 5 had in mind.

I'd advise against it, it's highly dangerous.

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 12:21      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I HS, I had a girlfriend who would offer exactly that service in exchange for a drive to McDonalds. We lived in a rural part....McD's was 20 mins away. It was a win win situation.

TFD: Next post is 4K. You having a party?

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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magefile
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 12:55      Profile for magefile     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I can't believe it hasn't already been said, but I didn't realize that Michael Jackson counted as 25% of the population.

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Let them be stupid - the market will sort it out.

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 12:59      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
I would love to be a CEO.

I am one (and the only employee) can't say I'd recommend it.

I meant of a large firm.. I am technically a CEO of my own company, which only makes $13k/year and CIO of another company that makes like $50k/year. Nothing worth noting -- yet. [Big Grin]
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Serenak

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 15:47      Profile for Serenak     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey, I've been CEO and sole employee of a Co. too...

It isn't what it's cracked up to be...

As to the rest of it - check the lying stats and bear that in mind when reading - [Big Grin]

Stats on married man sex didn't differentiate between with or without offspring... Before kiddies I think we had as much or more sex as before cohabiting, once little ones appear that nose dives. Time, opportunity, energy and just plain desire can be eroded by 12 hours of baby screaming or a 4 year old's "Dad look, Dad look, DAD, DAD, DAAAD LOOOOOOK, DAAAAAAD!!!!!!"

I wish I could have sex more often, I wish I could take more time to enjoy it like I used to, I wish I could find two hours a day to even think about it, I wish I didn't feel so tired all the damn time...

But one kiss from a 4 year old princess and it ALL seems worth it...

PS. Ruth started sort of crawling tonight. Not exactly crawling but left alone she seems to move from one side of the room to the other and turn your back and she's reaching for something you don't want her to have... Been a few years since we had to deal with that... Clear the floor and all the low shelves...

[Wink]

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"So if you want my address - it's No. 1 at the end of the bar, where I sit with the broken angels, clutching at straws and nursing my scars..."

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 18:53      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
About the spending time in jail stuff...

In Psych 101 at universtiy, we learned about a psych study where a group of intelligent, educated men voluntarily participated in a study wherein they were randomly divided into jailers and inmates.

Everyone was told at the beginning of the study that they could leave at any time. At first the "inmates" put up a fight and didn't obey the guards, but, by the end of the first two or three (?) weeks, the "inmates" were cowed and behaving like inmates, with low self-esteem, self-destructive behavior, etc. The researchers finally had to call the study to a halt before the time allotted for the study had elapsed because of the potential psychological damage to the study participants.

At least, that's what I remember. If someone wants to Google it and find the whole story, feel free to post the link. (It's been one exhausting week!)

EDIT: Weekend. Logged over 700 miles in the past 48 hours, but mucho worthwhile! [Smile]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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csk

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 19:20      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by jordanv:
quote:
only 35 percent admit they enjoy sex more than money.
... [Eek!]
Of course, there's a school of thought that says that if you've got enough money, then you can get all the sex you want (particularly if you're into golddiggers).

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

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magefile
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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 21:37      Profile for magefile     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Rhonnwyn: it is usually referred to as the "Stanford Experiment". Things got so bad, in terms of how the student guards and the administrators (researchers) treated the "prisoners", that the study only lasted 6 days out of the planned two weeks.

It's often discussed alongside the Milgram Experiment, where subjects were told to test other subjects (actually, researchers acting like subjects) and shock them as they got answers wrong. It was to see how much "pain" they would cause the "subjects" relative to how much authority pressure was placed on them.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted March 07, 2005 21:40      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yup, That's the one. Thanks for refreshing my memory, Mage! [Smile]

Wow. I'm glad I went the Speech Comm route and not the Psych route. I certainly don't want to be shocked as a "study"! [Eek!]

Hmm, should I be impressed or embarrassed that my alma mater has movies of Milgram-related stuff?

--------------------
Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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angryjungman

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Icon 1 posted March 08, 2005 05:13      Profile for angryjungman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:

Wow. I'm glad I went the Speech Comm route and not the Psych route. I certainly don't want to be shocked as a "study"! [Eek!]

Not that there's anything wrong with majoring in Psych. We didn't do anything with shocking people, but we did get to play around with electrode caps and EEG.

--------------------
Meh.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted March 08, 2005 10:38      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Electrode caps and EEG?

Nah, my dad does that as a "sleep study technician." Too blase' 'cause it's "normal" for me. Shocking is a different story, though. That and the Kinsey/Freud studies. Wow!

<continue threadjack>

Has anyone seen the video "Rusty, the Narcoleptic Dog"? It's priceless!!!

</threadjack>

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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