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Author Topic: Dancing With The Stars - Season 10
Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted March 22, 2010 20:13      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 1 - Part 1

It's a new season of everyone's favorite celebrity dance show, Dancing With The Stars! They've got a new logo (ditching the classic script), a new co-host (Brooke Burke, a past champion herself!), a new look to all the graphics, a new "kiss-and-cry" area (to use the skating term) next to the dance floor to replace the old Red Room, a new group of celebrities (only 11 this time!), and I have a new laptop to bring it to you! So let's get to the action out on the floor!

Chad Ochocinco normally gets fined by the NFL for dancing in the end zone, but, teamed with Cheryl Burke, he's looking to score high on the dance floor! Both of them take their training seriously, and Chad is a perfectionist, wanting to drill until he gets it right! "I'm just a rookie," he admits...but he came charging out in his cha-cha-cha, maybe a bit uneven in his performance, but with energy and conviction; not bad at all for a first go! Len called him a "rough diamond" and suggested he improve his posture. Bruno said he needed sharpness, but said he has a "huge talent left untapped." Carrie-Ann thought he should work on his extension and hit a little harder, but saw something "primal" in his performance and wanted to see more.
Scores: 6-6-6 (18)
(Scores are listed in the following order: Carrie-Ann, Len, Bruno, total in parenthesis.)

Shannen Doherty might be known as the Bitch Queen of Beverly Hills 90210, but she's doing this show for her father, who had a stroke not long ago. (Cue "awwww!" here.) When she took her first practice steps with pro Mark Ballas, she thought is was "like watching a baby walk for the first time." She gets very nervous, and gets hives when she gets nervous...so Mark may have to load up on the Benadryl! Their Viennese waltz, to "Killing Moon," made her look too "concentrating" and not enough "enjoying"; she was out of sync early and seemed stiff...and will Carrie-Ann deduct for that lift at the end? Bruno praised that she took on such a difficult routine, but noted that the flow was off and she was "swinging her arms like a primate." Carrie-Ann was impressed with her ambitious routine, and noted that she did open up later. "I see something!" she said. Len said she coped well, with ease and elegance, and noted her good footwork on the fleckle, but said she should work on her footwork and stretching. (And her father cried like a baby in the audience...)
Scores: 6-6-6 (18)

Sportscaster Erin Andrews knows that Maksim Chmerkovskiy is a tough teacher...she actually wanted Tony instead! But Maks and she are well-matched...believe it or not, she's actually tougher on herself than Maks is, to the point where Mr. Heartthrob is actually complaining! They did the cha-cha-cha to "TiK ToK," and the yellow fringe of Erin's costume accented the motion of her hips well! She has energy and action, and certainly looked better than, say, Holly Madison on her first go! Carrie-Ann praised her moves and connection with Maks, but said she should work on sharpening her lines and the position of her arms and legs. Len called her "a funky monkey," and said it was challenging, but thought her leg positions could use work. Bruno raved about her "zest and vitality," and that her feet were hitting on the beat, but, again, thought her legs could use some work.
Scores: 7-7-7 (21)

Before becoming The Bachelor, Jake Pavelka was an airline pilot and just an ordinary guy. Combined with Chelsie Hightower, though, he looks to burn up the dance floor! After their "rose ceremony" when they met, they adjourn to the practice studio, where Jake starts feeling a little dumb and clumsy, but Chelsie assured him it's only the beginning! In the Viennese waltz, done to "Kiss From A Rose" (natch!), Jake gave a good accounting of himself. There was a little stutter here and there, his leg got a bit wonky at one point, and he flubbed the ending a bit, but, overall, not bad at all. Len liked that he did a lot in hold, and he moved well, but his posture could use improvement. Bruno said, "Don't bash her about all the time!" but he praised his lead. Carrie-Ann thought he had bravado, and did romance well (as one might expect), but his posture could use work.
Scores: 7-6-7 (20)

(Continued)

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted March 22, 2010 20:47      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 1 - Part 2

Dedicating her dance to "big girls everywhere," comedienne Niecy Nash loves her "jiggly bits," and warned pro Louis Van Amstel that she doesn't want to lose 'em! She's an enthusiastic dancer, and, in the cha-cha-cha, to "Rescue Me," she proved she had rhythm and character! Maybe just a tad stiff...but this is no loser, you can tell! Bruno said there was a split in her performance "from sassy mama to born-again virgin," but was encouraging. Carrie-Ann thought Bruno was full of it! "How is that not sassy?" she said. She loved the energy, technique, and personality. For Len, it was clean, clear, and precise, but "a bit uneventful."
Scores: 7-5-6 (18)

Evan Lysacek's figure skating has been criticized for being "too technical," but that didn't stop him from taking home gold in Vancouver just recently! Still, he wants to show his dance artistry...and Anna Trebunskaya, of whom he is a fan, could be just the lady to help him do it! Unfortunately, there's one BIG difference between spins on the rink and the dance floor...they're in different directions, and it's throwing Evan off a bit! You'd never know it, though, from seeing their Viennese waltz, to "I'll Be"! Watching it brought back fond memories of John O'Hurley and Charlotte Jorgenson, and he even put in some skating-style spins to dress it up! "You are good!" exclaimed Carrie-Ann, but she thought he should watch his toes (he's not wearing skate boots now!) and connect more with the audience. Len liked the artistry and elegance, but felt he needed more chemistry with Anna; he's doing "pairs" now! Bruno had much the same comments about where Evan needed improvement, but liked his grace and the way he used the dance floor space. "You have the wingspan of a 747!" he said. Um, yeah, Bruno.
Scores: 8-7-8 (23)

Our next celebrity got a special greeting...all the way from low Earth orbit, from the current commander and flight engineer of the International Space Station! A fitting greeting for Colonel Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin, second man to set foot on the moon! "He's a risk taker," says his wife, "and DWTS is just another risk!" Fine risk for any 80-year-old...but pro Ashly Costa (nee DelGrosso), back after a long absence, is up to the task! Buzz is no stranger to the dance floor...back at West Point, he explains to Ashly, they had what they call "hops"! He's spry for an 80-year-old ("Is he on Viagra or something?" asked Sabrina [Big Grin] ), but Ashly worries he'll forget the routine. Sadly, when it came time for their cha-cha-cha (to "Cupid"), it looked more like Buzz was doing "the Robot" than the "moonwalk"! He was really stiff, but seemed to be enjoying himself. Len, who remembered seeing the Apollo 11 moon walks on TV, raved about Buzz's bravery...but his dancing, not so much. "How can I criticize a hero and a legend?" cried Bruno, who proceeded to do so anyway. He thought it looked like Buzz was still wearing his moon boots. [Razz] Carrie-Ann thought Buzz inspired a ton of people tonight. For a man like Col. Aldrin, though, that's just another day at the office.
Scores: 5-4-5 (14)

Best known for her work as lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls, Nicole Scherzinger is no doubt ready to "loosen up her buttons" and dance! (Given the skimpy costumes we see on DWTS, that may be apropos...) But what surprised Derek Hough was how much fun they were having in their practices! It did some good, though, because they came out with a great Viennese waltz! The dance, to "Hold You In My Arms," showed great artistry and almost impeccable sync at points; it did NOT look like a Week 1 performance, closer to Week 5 or 6! An astounded Bruno sputtered about the "startling finesse" of her performance. "The bar has just been set!" crowed Carrie-Ann. "I've NEVER seen a routine out of the gate like that!" Len was the Debbie Downer of this round, criticizing her musicality, her footwork, her arms, her technique, and probably her shoes as well...but screw that, Evan has some competition!
Scores: 9/7/9 (25)

(Continued)

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted March 22, 2010 21:14      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 1 - Part 3

Soap stud Aiden Turner, being veddy veddy proper British, decided to smooth his first meeting with Edyta Sliwinska by bringing flowers. It didn't help him in practice, though, as he got kinda banged up. "Hungry Like The Wolf" was the theme to their cha-cha-cha...but it was kind of a "good tea, nice house" performance for me. He was still a bit stiff, but seemed to be getting a grasp on the dance. (Edyta's practice of wearing very little to distract the viewers from her partner's performance may be a factor. [Big Grin] ) Carrie-Ann thought it had gusto and came out full-throttle, but it was disjointed; there was no musicality and no flow. Len, of course, thought there were too many gimmicks. Bruno noted there was "nothing going on in the groin," no hip action (yeah, Bruno, I'm sure you'd know about that), and it reminded him of "Kenny Mayne all over again." If Aiden doesn't shape up, he could face an early out.
Scores: 5-5-5 (15)

When Kate Gosselin told her (overly-exposed) eight kids that she was going on DWTS, they said, "Mama, you can't dance!" She's out to prove them wrong, with the help of Tony Dovolani (sorry, Erin [Smile] ). Kate, though, is scared to death...worse than Kelly Osbourne, even! "All the moms out there, this one's for you!" she says. the two used "She's Always A Woman" for their Viennese waltz...and while she was scared, and it showed, I saw something in her face...a certain je ne sai quoi that made me feel that it was sinking in, that something was trying to come out. It made me want to see more. Len thought she looked nervous (duh!) and needed more fluidity. Bruno thought it looked like Tony was trying to push a shopping cart (WTF?) and that she needed to learn to perform. Carrie-Ann pointed out that this was all new to her, as she's no actress or athlete, and that she had a vulnerability and honesty about her. Maybe that's what I spotted...
Scores: 6-5-5 (16)

What can be said about Pamela Anderson that has not already been splashed everywhere from hell to breakfast across the Internet? Well, newbie dance pro Damian Whitewood is downright excited to be flying Pam An! She's doing this for her dear old Aunt Vie...and Damian thinks she has potential, despite a lack of experience. For their cha-cha-cha, they got "Gimme All Your Lovin'," some good ol' Texas booty rock...and Pamela rocked her booty, to say the least! Some of those moves looked closer to a rumba than a cha-cha-cha, but it hung together rather well! "Sex, sex, and more sex!" crowed Bruno. "Stripperella is back!" (Um, Bruno, I doubt anyone wants to be reminded about the whole Stripperella thing.) Carrie-Ann had been waiting for this moment, and was not disappointed; she thought it was fully-engaged and fun. Party-pooper Len thought she started well and was in time, but that it was a mess. Some might apply that description to Ms. Anderson in general...
Scores: 7-6-8 (21)

This is a very strong field, in my opinion, probably one of the strongest starting lineups the show has ever had. Nicole leads the pack after the first round, with Buzz bringing up the rear. But no one's getting eliminated this week; these guys will all be back to dance for you again next week. And I'll be back, too, to give you the rundown!

-30-

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Snaggy

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Icon 11 posted March 23, 2010 12:48      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I blacked out after seeing Brooke Burke's cleavage.
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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2010 02:07      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ Those look like bolt ons, Better living through better Chemistry, Dow Silicon Div. We bring good things to life, GE Silicons

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted March 25, 2010 17:27      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I caught Kate's and Pam's dances. Kate Gosselin is such a fake (down to that bad weave she has) that I can't stand it. Pam's sex kitten act is getting a bit (read: a lot!) old.

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Erbo
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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2010 00:13      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah, honestly, I don't expect Kate to make it past Week 5 or so. Pamela might go a BIT farther. And, honestly? I'll just be satisfied if Buzz makes it as far as The Woz did in his Season 8 appearance.

Nicole and Evan are the clear early standouts, though I want to see Erin and Jake step it up and claim top-tier spots for themselves. And don't count out Chad or Niecy either!

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Posts: 1480 | From: Denver, CO, US | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted March 29, 2010 20:04      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 2 - Part 1

Last week's DWTS premiere was the highest-rated ever for the American version of the show, netting something like 40 million viewers! And tonight, we get to see everyone again, but, after this week, one couple's quest for the Cheesy Disco Ball Trophy will end! So the action is all-important, and it starts...RIGHT NOW!

During Shannen and Mark's rehearsal for their jive, a little of that Bitch Queen of Hollywood started coming out! ("Drama" will be a recurring theme this evening. Watch for it.) Shannen wants to "dumb down" the moves of her dance, but Mark says "no," so, in the end, they choose more complex moves that might not pan out. The jive, to "Shake Your Tailfeather," saw Shannen a little ahead in timing, but a fairly good performance...certainly no disaster! Len thought she showed energy, but she needed more control and sharper leg movements. Bruno agreed, saying she should keep on her toes better. Carrie-Ann thought Mark made the right call in pushing Shannen, and thought she needed musicality work.
Scores: 7-6-7 (20) (38)
(This week, the scores are in the order: Carrie-Ann, Len, Bruno, total for this week in parenthesis, 2-week total in parenthesis.)

Aiden and Edyta have to score high on the foxtrot this week, so Aiden is feeling the pressure, and Edyta is getting a little frustrated! (Drama #2) They did hug and make up, though, so maybe it'll be OK. Sadly, the foxtrot, to "I've Got You Under My Skin," didn't really jell for me, though the blown kiss to the judges was cute. He just didn't sell it. Bruno thought there might be a glimmer of hope, though. He did point out there were lots of sticky moments. Carrie-Ann thought it was solid, but needs better flow. Len called it "a little economic," and liked the footwork, but agreed about the "flow" thing. This guy needs to shape up, quick.
Scores: 7-6-6 (19) (34)

That "chemistry" comment about Evan and Anna's dance last week kind of rankled Evan, and he and Anna plan to show it off, holding hands like two school kids. Evan even brings her along to a rally in his home town of Napierville, IL, to help cement them closer together. And their jive, to "The Best Damn Thing," was very sharp and energetic, yet they were both having fun. It looked great to me! Carrie-Ann agreed, and noted the good connection. Len notes that tall guys, like Evan, often have trouble with the jive, but he did well...except for something strange in the feet. Bruno called him "greased lightning," and said he needed to point his feet better (skate-boots habits again!) and "don't go wobbly." Um, yeah, whatever, Bruno.
Scores: 8-8-8 (24) (47)

Niecy and Louis have proved they can do Latin, but, for the foxtrot, Niecy needs to calm down and chill! It's "starting to sound like Chinese" to her, but she loves this dance, and she's a laugh riot in her interview segments! And, in that foxtrot (to "Love You I Do"), she proved she could do "smooth!" I particularly appreciated the grapevine in that dance, and the cute choreographed move at the end. Len called it "a revelation," with musicality, ease, and a little sassiness. Leave it to Bruno, though, to call it "light and frothy, like a strawberry milkshake!" Carrie-Ann pointed out that Niecy, when she moves, understands why she's moving within the context of the dance; all she wanted was to see her go bigger. Niecy may not be the most talented performer, but, by God, she is, hands down, the most fun.
Scores: 7-7-7 (21) (39)

(Continued)

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted March 29, 2010 20:43      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 2 - Part 2

I thought someone who appeared on The Bachelor wouldn't let anything intimidate them? Well, that's the problem Jake and Chelsie are facing this week with their jive rehearsals! Jake is feeling a little stupid, and has a couple of spills, but Chelsie won't let up on him! It's a struggle, but he's definitely a fighter! Their jive was set to "Hip to be Square," but it seemed like Jake was more "square" than "hip," though the footwork with the mic stand at the start was good. Sabrina just didn't "click" with the dance. "You want it badly!" said Bruno, who, nevertheless, said he needed precision and technique. Carrie-Ann spotted...a lift! She did, however, love his energy and how he attacked the dance. Len thought he coped well, though a bit heavily at times, and really hoped he wouldn't be the one departing tomorrow night.
Scores: 6-7-7 (20) (40)

Buzz and Ashly may have scored lowest last week, but Ashly is philosophic about it. She drew out the steps of the foxtrot as a map...and then watched as Buzz translated them into military topography terms! A surprise appearance by Buzz's wife, Lois, at rehearsal helped liven things up, and Buzz, of course, is gonna give it all he's got! What song did they give him? How about "Fly Me To The Moon"? [Big Grin] After saluting the flag in crisp, military fashion, Col. Aldrin and Ashly proceeded to cut the rug with a very charming foxtrot. It was distinguished, and may have been slow, but, honestly, could I have done better? Could you? As Aldrin might put it, "November Foxtrot Whiskey!" All three judges raved about how inspiring he was, but Carrie-Ann did say it looked like he was a bit trepidatious, afraid of stepping on Ashly's toes, and Bruno said "The man on the moon got stuck on the foxtrot!" and thought he looked like he was avoiding the craters. I'm hopeful, though, that this capsule will stay on course for staging next week.
Scores: 4-4-4 (12) (26)

Only five other celebrities have scored 9's in their first week of competition before Nicole and Derek managed it last week...and that list includes THREE past champions! I like those odds! Nicole is putting her hair in a ponytail, and that means she means BUSINESS! They were working on a 50's-style jive, but the producers threw a monkey wrench into that plan with their choice of music (Rihanna's "S.O.S."), so they regrouped! And BOY, did they regroup! From Derek's fast entry from the "Celebraquarium" to the PCD moves Nicole added to the dance, it was top quality from start to finish, and, again, looked like a dance from several weeks in the future of this competition! Len, first to speak, was "ambivalent" about it, not liking the first twelve bars very much, but thought the rest was really, really good. Thank heaven Bruno and Carrie-Ann brought in some balance! "IT WAS PHENOMENAL!" crowed Bruno. "Perfection!" exclaimed Carrie-Ann. Len, old boy, do we need to up your Prozac dosage? Or maybe your Viagra dosage?
Scores: 10-8-10 (28) (53)
(Nicole is only the third celebrity to score a 10 in Week 2. The other two were Stacy Kiebler's rumba in Season 2, and Joey Lawrence's quickstep in Season 3.)

As preparation for Erin and Maks' foxtrot, Maks encouraged Erin to "channel her inner princess." She thought, though, she looked stupid, and was frustrated (Drama Moment!); Maks had to be the calm one, something he's not accustomed to! They did their foxtrot to "Love Story," and Erin started it off with a solo at the start, a gutsy move! She got nice extension on her arms, was on her toes at the right points, and was able to finish up with a cute yet dramatic ending. "You are a natural!" said Bruno, who thought her arms were stunning but felt she could link her moves better into an artistic whole. Carrie-Ann praised her musicality and flexibility, but thought some of her holds looked a bit "desperate." (Eh?) Len thought her posture and footwork were generally good, and encouraged her, and all the other celebrities, to "Trust in your pro! Turn up, keep up, and shut up!" Wise words there.
Scores: 8-7-8 (23) (44)

(Continued)

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted March 29, 2010 21:15      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 2 - Part 3

I think I could see what Pamela and Damian had in mind for their dance...Pam was trying to look like Marilyn Monroe. (Um...FAIL. [Razz] ) If there's one thing she can do, it's get into the moment and live the character, but she also loves the romance of the foxtrot! She took a pretty good crash in the practice sessions, but she bounces right back! (NO!!! NOT LIKE THAT!!!) The dance is set to "I Wanna Be Loved By You," as sung by Norma Jean herself, and okay, I allow that Pamela might look a bit like Monroe...if the light were bad, perhaps. She did, however, give a fair accounting of herself, in a cute, charming routine. Carrie-Ann praised her versatility, and said, "You brought Marilyn Monroe back to life!" She thought her shoulders were a bit off, though. Len said she'd been "titivating" herself (Google it), and thought it was elegant and cheeky, but thought she should work on her "center," not her bust. (On Ms. Anderson, isn't that much the same thing?) "You CAN dance!" said Bruno, who called it "a well-executed tribute to the original blonde bombshell." Damn it, I don't want to like her performance! I can't stand the woman! But she's better than a lot of people that have appeared on this show!
Scores: 7-7-8 (22) (43)

"If you don't vote for me on DWTS...girl you trippin!" Will that be the new motto of Chad and Cheryl? Cheryl's getting hard on him this week (Drama time again...), but finds it tough with Chad being so flirtatious all the time. Chad insists he's being professional about it, though. (So you say, Chad. Or so I hear you say.) The foxtrot they turned in, to the song "100 Years," was still stiff and hesitant, and did absolutely nothing for Sabrina. Nor, apparently, did it do much for the judges. Len said it was "like snow, you're just glad when it's over." Bruno said he looked uncomfortable, and badly in need of a reboot. Carrie-Ann said he had to understand his moment and let it go. And he'd better do so...before he's gone.
Scores: 6-5-5 (16) (34)

Our award for Drama Queens of the Week goes to Kate and Tony. Nothing about dancing is natural for Kate, who almost has to learn a new language every week...and she's always questioning Tony! Tony doesn't like to sit still for that; he's taught teachers how to teach dance, for God's sake. "I quit," he mutters as he walks out. "I don't get it!!!" says Kate. We CUT TO COMMERCIAL to emphasize the drama, then, after the break, they make up as they admit miscommunication. Seems that miscommunication carried forth into their jive, to the tune of "I'm Still Standing," as Kate was totally off. Sabrina was saying, "Wrong feet, out of sync, this is not working at all!" For Bruno, this song should bring back fond memories (since he appeared in the original video for it, dancing half-naked in the south of France to accompany Elton John), "but you turned them into nightmares!" he cries at Kate. "You were going through the motions like a Stepford Wife!" Carrie-Ann tried to look on the good side, but Len called it: "The nerves are breaking you." She's just not a performer...and thus at a significant disadvantage. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt one more time...but she can't stay at this level.
Scores: 5-5-5 (15) (31)

Our high and low scorers are the same as in Week 1, both for this week and the two-week total. But a show that can keep Master P on for several weeks rather than boot his ass in Week 1 can still surprise us! Tomorrow, we find out who gets left by the wayside on the road to victory!

-30-

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted March 30, 2010 18:47      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 2 - Results

The first results show is upon us...and the first couple will be departing the show tonight! Right away, we get a peek at some reasults...

Safe: Buzz and Ashly! Colonel, you are Go for Week 3, I say again, you are Go!

In the bottom two: Pamela and Damian?!? Shit! I may hate her guts, but I didn't think her dancing was that bad!

In place of the usual narrated recap, we get a look at the competitors from Len: Aiden improved his performance this week, Jake shows potential, Shannen is strong but needs more finesse, and Niecy? "Mama, this daddy loves you!" [Big Grin] Chad's performance went right down the toilet this week, but HOW could you be cruel to Buzz??? Kate's letting her nerves get to her, Pamela is right in character and her American Smooth foxtrot had class, and Erin is very fluid: "Show me how good you can dance!" He didn't expect Evan to turn in a jive as good as he did, and, as for Nicole: "Fantastic dancer, huge talent!" Is it any wonder that, immediately thereafter, Nicole and Derek got the Judges' Encore for the week? Again: This does NOT look like a Week 2 dance...more like Week 5!

Michael Jackson's choreographers created a great routine for Our Pros, to the tune of Cascada's new hit, "Evacuate the Dancefloor." Funky stuff! This was followed, in the grand DWTS tradition of "Pad The Show," by Adam Carolla's comments on the week, which were mostly kinda dumb, so I won't bother with them here.

I'd rather tell you who's still safe:

Aiden and Edyta! The elbow to the eye won't stop this guy!

And: Niecy and Louis! All I can say is, "You go, girl!"

In Macy's Design-A-Dance at the end of the season, the lady that will be dancing is Melissa Rycroft. You may remember, she was a last-minute addition to the Season 8 lineup, and she did quite well.

And who'd'a thunk The Beach Boys would still be rockin' after all these years? With a little help on drums from John Stamos, they did a medley of "California Girls," "Kokomo," and "Fun, Fun, Fun," to accompany the pro dancers. The old guys are lookin' a bit animatronic these days, but sounded good.

As a public service, we now present "The Len Commandments of Ballroom":
Thou shalt not kill...time! None of that messin' about!
Thou shalt not take the judges' names in vain!
Thou shalt not steal...dance moves!
Thou shalt not interrupt me...BRUNO!
Thou shalt not do lifts! Sgt. Carrie-Ann of the Lift Police is watching!
Thou shalt have rhinestones! MANY rhinestones!
And: Thou MAY honor the judges...with gifts!

For next week, Len challenged the couples to "tell a story with your dance!" We'll see how well they accomplish that. Meanwhile, who else is safe?

Evan and Anna! Not 10's, or even a 6.0, but his scores were good enough to let him go on!

Jake and Chelsie! Now you know how the ladies felt at the rose ceremony, Jake!

Nicole and Derek! Like they'd really boot them off the show at this point...

Tonight's Macy's Stars of Dance performance was great, yet tempered by sadness, as it was done by Haitian dancers in tribute to the victims of the January earthquake. One of the dancers actually lost his young son in the aftermath, which was sad. The routine was to Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie," and featured some DANGEROUS mambo moves!

Brooke gets a segment of her own, and I've decided I like her better than Samantha at this point. But who else is safe?

Erin and Maks! Maks' ego is safe for another week!

Chad and Cheryl! Our token NFL star squeaked through on third and long!

And: Kate and Tony!!! I guess Kate's $35,000 makeover she got before coming on the show was good for something!

So Shannen and Mark join Pamela and Damian in the bottom two. And...the couple wiped out is:

Shannen and Mark! That kinda sucks...but I guess she missed it by THAT much!

"Dancing isn't really my thing," said Shannen, who appears to be taking it well. And maybe it's for the best, anyway, because Mark just injured himself pretty badly, and he'll be out for at least 6 weeks! (So if she'd stayed, she would have had to be re-partnered anyway.) She got a bit of a retrospective segment, but no "last dance," because Mark is there on crutches!

One down, ten to go! And next week, someone else has to exit stage left! Tune in next week, same time, same topic!

-30-

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Week 3 - Part 1

Last week, DWTS did the unthinkable: it beat out American Idol for the title of "Most Watched Show in America"! But tonight, Len has a challenge for our dancers (the first of many "themes," if indications are correct): Tell a story with your dance! To show us how it's done, some of Our Pros Not Appearing In The Competition This Season do tonight's three dances--the waltz, paso doble, and quickstep--to "Don't Give Up," "Meet Me Halfway," and "Lust for Life," all telling the story of a tempestuous relationship that ends in true love! But we want to see the stars do it, so let's get down to business!

The story Evan and Anna would like to portray is that of a husband and wife angry with each other...and he's waiting for her to show up! For added thrills, Anna explained all this to Evan in a Russian accent. Evan is used to telling a story with his skating performances, and their quickstep, to the "Hot Honey Rag" from the musical Chicago, did not disappoint! That's precise footwork, and energy and fun all around! It was a real treat to watch. Len thought the feet could use more work, but the dance was entertaining and it cheered him up. Bruno said "You were ready to give her the ride of her life!" and pointed out that he needed to use his ankles more (that skate-boot thing again). Carrie-Ann loved the characterization and called it twinkling and athletic. Not bad for a guy with two broken toes!
Scores: 9-8-9 (26)

"Bruno's never been on the moon! What does he know about avoiding craters?" So Buzz and Ashly are pressing on nonetheless, with a waltz telling the story of a man (Buzz) returning home from the war, greeted by his daughter (Ashly). Buzz is studying technique by recording Ashly on video with his cellphone, then studying his "mission recordings" later! Ashly thinks he might just be overthinking this a tad. (Ummm...no offense, Colonel, but yeah.) He's out to nail the technique to satisfy both his fans and the judges. The waltz was set to "What A Wonderful World," and, God, Buzz looked distinguished! He may have sort of walked through one or two parts, but I had zero trouble believing the characterization! Both Sabrina and I had tears in our eyes at the end. Bruno called it "the return of the king," but thought he was better looking standing still then moving. Carrie-Ann believed them completely, and saw something very pure and innocent in them, which worked to their advantage. Len thought they had innocent charm, ut their technique was poor and oversimplified, and was not that fantastic. This left Buzz wanting to chuck his hat at Len!
Scores: 5-4-4 (13)

He's been bitten by the dancing bug, and Jake and Chelsie are looking to take it up a level! For the quickstep this week, to "Walk Like an Egyptian," Jake portrays an adventurer who opens an Egyptian tomb, and finds Cleopatra (Chelsie)! (They might be stealing ideas from tonight's Castle episode, too. [Big Grin] ) Meanwhile, drama has reared its ugly head, as Jake is getting frustrated with the dance's fast pace and needs the occasional walk outside to decompress. But he and Chelsie are trying to overcome their frustrations. The routine was very fun looking, including some "Egyptian walk" head moves in the chorus, and stuck to the storyline all the way through. It had a little fluff at one point, but that didn't detract from the look. All the judges noted that he'd set the bar high for the routine, and that his knees and feet were a bit muddled. "Slick production, slack dancing," opined Len. But not a bad effort for "Indiana Jake and the Queen of the Nile," as Bruno called them.
Scores: 7-7-7 (21)

(Continued)

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Week 3 - Part 2

For Niecy and Louis, the story this week is more serious than you would expect...they're telling the story of an interracial couple in the 1960's, kept apart by law and society. The story still has relevance today, as Louis, who happens to be gay, will attest. (As the brother of one of the gay men married in California while it was legal for him to do so, I grok that.) Niecy can't imagine how it would feel to be so kept away from someone she loves, and shed tears. The waltz, to "With You I'm Born Again," was intended to tell the story of a lot of people, and it was oh so expressive! The emotion they showed in this dance had us both in tears once again. Len felt it was very brave, but she needed a bit more technique work. Bruno was pleased with the tale of love surviving all odds, but felt it stumbled a bit at the beginning. Carrie-Ann, however, didn't get the ending! (Hey, Carrie-Ann? I got it! They were nearly driven apart, but, in the end, their love kept them together. You need glasses!)
Scores: 7-7-7 (21)

After a bad game, Chad says, it's time to rededicate yourself. So after a bad dance, Chad and Cheryl have to do the same. They're ready to "Show me your...paso doble!" and tell the story of Chad trying to seduce Cheryl, but Cheryl shooting him down. (Life imitating art. Or vice-versa.) "It's gotta be my comeback week!" vows Chad. When "Cancion del Mariachi" started playing, though, I thought he fell flat. It wasn't inspiring or sharp, and didn't have the solid stomps and strong moves a paso should have. It wasn't Master P bad by any means, but it wasn't good, either. Somehow, though, the judges saw something I didn't. "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" cried Bruno, even if he felt Chad was dancing kind of like the Kraken in parts. Carrie-Ann saw how much he wanted it and focused on Cheryl, while Len noted that, while it was better than last week, he needed to work on his posture. Hmm. Maybe I'm getting too perfectionist.
Scores: 7-6-7 (20)

Shame on Tommy Lee! He didn't even vote for Pamela and Damian last week! Maybe THAT explains why they were in the bottom two! Their paso doble story this week is that Pam is a Gypsy flamenco dancer (stop laughing!) who is attempting to seduce Damian the bullfighter, despite the fact that she hates the idea of bullfighting! (That's a nod to Ms. Anderson's PETA sensitivities.) How are you gonna teach flamenco to Ms. Sole Support of Two Dependents? Can you say..."Cootchie cootchie coo!" Yes, special guest instructor Charo was on the case! (This is getting a little 70's campy now.) But, believe it or not, the paso, to a Latinized "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood," actually worked! It was everything Chad's paso was not...strong, forceful, and exciting! She was so deep into the character, she seemed to have trouble coming out of it at the end of the performance! Carrie-Ann praised her artistry, but noted she got thrown off a few times. Len felt it was intense and focused, just needed some refinement, that's all! "A gypsy queen portrayed by Brigitte Bardot at her peak!" cooed Bruno, who wants to see her come back and continue proving herself as a performer. Look, I'm sorry, I'm not a fan of the woman. But she's not bad! She's a solid middle-of-the-pack performer at this point, but how far she can get on that is still up in the air. She just needs to put her breast-feed forward. (OK, there were nine different puns I could have made there...I just lactate. And now I've milked this joke enough.)
Scores: 7-7-7 (21)

After Aiden and Edyta performed last week, Aiden went backstage and blew chunks! (Thank you for not honking on the dance floor, Aiden.) Their story this week is that Aiden, an artist, is painting his perfect woman, Edyta, when she comes to life! Not really one suited to a quickstep, but hey, as long as he doesn't hurl! To keep Aiden sane, Edyta brought in his wife and daughter to celebrate his birthday in the rehearsal studio. Set to "Hey Soul Sister," the dance seemed to have some issues, didn't really seem to involve the story much, and, overall, seemed like another "good tea, nice house" performance to me. Len called it "a bit careful," and felt he should let go some more. Bruno thought he was happier this week, and noted better posture and confidence, but called it a bit spewy--oops, I meant "skippy." Carrie-Ann also saw the confidence, but thought he was TOO light on his feet. (Too light? Reduced gravity? Watch out! Aiden might ralph again!)
Scores: 7-6-7 (20)

(Continued)

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Week 3 - Part 3

Since the waltz has some similarity to the foxtrot, maybe Erin and Maks will have an easier time. Not if Maks can help it, though! To reinforce the theme of "trust your pro" that Len told them last week, he's decided to have Erin dance...blindfolded! (That was your jaw that just hit the ground. Pick it up.) It's hot AND kinky and inappropriate all at the same time, and Erin is gonna do her best to give Maks what he wants. The opening of the dance was intense in a way that a waltz seldom is...and when the blindfold went on, Erin made it work! She pulled off moves most people couldn't do with 20/20 vision! Bruno thought they were fantastic in hold, but she needed to work on linking her movements during the "apart" sections. Carrie-Ann praised the storytelling and thought it was profound, but the shaky hand grip might have tipped Erin's hand a bit. But Len thought it was slow and boring starting, and there wasn't ENOUGH of the dance to it. (If ever there was a moment I wanted to stand up and yell "BULLSHIT!" at Len, this was it.)
Scores: 8-7-8 (23)

Kate and Tony have planned a paso to Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi." Kate knows something about paparazzi; they've camped on her doorstep for virtually the past year. But somehow, she can't translate that into the dance. Even the assistance of acting coach Donna Marazzo and a punching bag can't help her...she's just too used to wearing a "mask" to be strong for herself and her children, and can't seem to "take it off" for anyone. She DID get "angry" right for the actual performance, but that was about it. "TOO F***ING SLOW!" yelled Sabrina. Twice. "That was odd," said Carrie-Ann, who wasn't just whistling "Dixie." "Too pedestrian, no passion," said Len. Bruno did like how she played the character for once, even if the character was "Super Bitch from Hell," but it needed to translate into movement. You know what? This woman's performances need to translate into BYE-BYE. Double pronto.
Scores: 5-5-5 (15)

After nailing the first 10's of the season, what can Nicole and Derek do for an encore? For the quickstep (to "anything Goes"), the plan is to portray a couple of sailors slacking off, in the old slapstick, vaudeville style. But, even for Nicole, none of this comes naturally. (Drama moment!) The dance was entertaining, all right, full of cute little character moments and fun to watch. But according to Len, it wasn't a real quickstep! They broke hold, for one thing. Bruno pointed that out, too, though the performance got raves from him. "You did a lift. You broke hold. That's two rule violations," said Carrie-Ann. "But when you take this act on the road, I want front-row seats!" Ticket scalpers, start your engines!
Scores: 8-6-9 (23)

Well! Tonight, Evan and Anna do a quadruple toe loop into first place in the standings! Meanwhile, bringing up the rear at a steady 0.25g of thrust are Buzz and Ashly. But--again--ANYTHING is possible on elimination night, as you should know from last week. And, if they survive that, next week's judging will feature TWO sets of scores, one for technique, one for performance! (Sounds like Evan might have an inside track there...) Keep it here, dance fans, there's a lot to like about this season!

-30-

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Week 3 - Results

Before we begin, let me put in a plug: FREE TONY! T-shirts available!

Now we get to start counting off who's safe...

Aiden and Edyta! Aiden must have got a dose of Dramamine!

Erin and Maks! Not blindfolds, not frustration, not even E-mailed death threats will stop her from dancing!

Len did his recap of this week, which he loved. Jake was "OK" for Week 3, but he won't get to Week 10 on just "OK." Niecy is middle of the pack and needs to up her game. Pamela has power and intensity, but she just isn't neat! (Took you this long to notice, Len?) Chad slightly improved this week, while Aiden is suffering from "analysis paralysis"! Nicole broke the rules with her slapstick number, and Kate...well, strolled a lot. (FREE TONY!) Buzz had a good story, but the dance...not so much. Erin's dance was nice and beautiful, but Len felt he overmarked it, and should've given her a 6! Evan came out full bore, though, and he loved that routine! So, is it any surprise that Evan and Anna get the judges' encore for the week? And it's just as good the second time around!

Joey Fatone has been selected to dance with Melissa Rycroft for the Macy's Design-a-Dance feature later this season. Up now in the ballroom: Reba McEntire, who says, "I Want a Cowboy"! (Sabrina is happy!) Fortunately, Maks and his brother Val make pretty good dancing cowboys...though it's ironic we had a "cowboy" dance performed by three Russians and a Pole. Reba confesses she likes Erin, Evan, and Nicole; so do a bunch of us!

Who else is safe? Niecy and Louis! Keep the donuts coming!

And now we get to see a real paso doble, as performed by Derek and Chelsie, to acoustic accompaniment (including Mark on guitar!) "They make it look so simple!" said Sabrina. Well, they practice for years to do that. To me, though, this looked like it was the Pan Pacific Grand Prix from Strictly Ballroom all over again!

Our next challenge, next week, is...DOUBLE SCORE SHOWDOWN! The judges will give each couples two scores next week, one for technique, one for performance! And there are some specific moves Len wants to see, just to double the jeopardy!

But right now, Nicole and Derek are safe! They may break the rules, but that won't stop them!

Reba takes the stage again, singing "Consider Me Gone" as Lacey and Dmitry dance! Boy, she looks good for her age...

The song for the Design-a-Dance will be "Rock And Roll All Night," and the lady who will dance it, Melissa Rycroft, puts in a guest appearance to show what DWTS is like from the audience's point of view! There are 720 seats in the ballroom...and Bruno's entrance is a thing to behold!

Who else is safe, though?

Evan and Anna! Good enough for the judges, good enough for America!

And Chad and Cheryl! He managed to get the yardage and move the chains!

The stars are getting to be kind of a close-knit group, so, whoever goes home, it'll be hard. But who else won't be exiting? Pamela and Damian! She'll be doing a rumba next week...a dance that should be right in her wheelhouse!

And the bottom two for this week are...

Buzz and Ashly! Houston, we've had a problem!

And Jake and Chelsie?!?!? Which means Kate and Tony are safe?!?!? (FREE TONY!) What the frak, voters? What the frakking frak???

And so, the couple eliminated this week are:

Buzz and Ashly! Obviously a major malfunction...

Colonel Aldrin, of course, accepted it graciously, and got a MASSIVE standing ovation from the audience, and then he saluted the judges as he joined Ashly for their last dance. They just don't make men of that caliber anymore, ladies and gentlemen. I salute you as well, Buzz! o7

Next week...the Tension Convention continues! Be there!

-30-

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With two couples gone and nine remaining, and three sets of scores to work from, it's a good time to play Handicap The Stars. Herewith my extremely vague ranking of the remaining competitors...

THE TOP TIER: Early indications are that, barring force majeure, one of these couples should wind up hoisting the Cheesy Disco Ball Trophy.

Nicole and Derek - Their scores this week were lower more because of the "rule violations" in their quickstep than anything else. With 10's already under their belt, they've proven their worth.

Evan and Anna - Also very strong competitors, and I expect them to top the leaderboard whenever Nicole and Derek don't. Evan's skating background is a major plus here...remember, it worked for Kristi Yamaguchi.

Erin and Maks - Just behind Nicole/Derek and Evan/Anna; if those two couples slip, it could open the door for her. She can still improve; mostly, she's getting into the "how do I please the judges, especially Len?" phase.

MIDDLE-OF-THE-PACK: These couples are doing fairly well right now, but they could break out--or crack up--any time.

Niecy and Louis - As I've said many times, Niecy is not the most talented dancer, but, by God, she is the most fun. She's also proven she can take on more "serious" material and do it justice. Of all the stars in this tier, she's the one I'd most like to see "break out."

Pamela and Damian - My loathing for Pamela Anderson is legion. That said, she actually has some decent dancing chops. I expect the rumba, her dance in Week 4, to be "right in her wheelhouse"...and close to "too hot for TV." Good thing or bad thing? [Big Grin]

Jake and Chelsie - Jake got a bit of a raw deal landing in the bottom two on Week 3. But only a bit. He's probably the shakiest of the dancers at this level; he has some pieces of it right, but they need to "jell" some. Still, not bad at all for a "regular" guy.

NEEDS IMPROVEMENT: These dancers need to improve their game some, or they could be at risk.

Chad and Cheryl - If you go by what the judges say, he's probably the dancer closest to making the jump up to the middle tier. I'm sorry, but I don't see it. That paso in Week 3 didn't look good at all; oh, he's not Master P, but neither is he John O'Hurley by any stretch of the imagination.

Aiden and Edyta - Len's right, Aiden is suffering from "analysis paralysis." He's overthinking what he does, and being too cautious, and that's gonna cost him as the competition gets tighter. Perhaps he needs a "Gertrude Lang moment," ala Kelly Osbourne in Season 9?

DESPERATION TIME: These dancers are hanging by a thread...at least, dancing-wise.

Kate and Tony - I have no idea what twisted impulse prompted the viewers to keep this woman on the show another week. I might as well haul the Genesis track out for her: "I Can't Dance." If she stays on much longer, she could be challenging Master P for low score of the series, and nobody wants that. She needs to go. As soon as possible, if not sooner.

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Week 4 - Part 1

Once again, Dancing With The Stars has beaten American Idol for the title of "Most Watched Show in America"! And this week, they up the ante with "Double Score Showdown," in which couples will receive two marks on their dances, one for technique, one for performance (each on the standard 30-point scale). Plus it's "Passion Week," where the couples take on the sultry tango or the "dance of love," the rumba!

There are some required elements for each dance this week, too. For the tango, those required elements are Viennese crosses, a continuous outside swivel, and a contra check. For the rumba, the required elements are a spiral to a rope spin, opening right and left, and sliding doors. In each case, Our Pros gave a great demo (Jonathan and Anna D. for the tango, Dmitry and Kym for the rumba). But what we want is to see our stars dance...and this week, I have Sabrina's reactions to all the dances as well as my own!

Erin has "sloppy feet," according to Len...and Maks is trying to focus on the footwork, to such an extent that Erin is getting back spasms! She's a leetle bit paranoid about this dance! She started the tango, to "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)," by giving Len a thrill, then she gave the rest of us one with her dance! Might've been a little sloppy on the feet still, but it was good enough to elicit a "HOT DAMN!" from Sabrina. Len thought the start was brilliant. (Dirty old man! [Big Grin] ) He also said it was full-on tango content and her hard work showed, but she needs to step on her heels more. "Were you giving him a lap dance?" asked Bruno, who thought it started well and went wrong. Carrie-Ann thought her performance suffered from the focus on technique, and she saw the "death grip" again.
Scores: Technique 6-6-6 (18), Performance 7-7-7 (21), Total 39
(Within categories, scores are reported in the same manner as in previous weeks.)

The two-score system should be an advantage for skater Evan, and he and Anna are crafting a routine with that in mind! But his feet are still an issue...both in terms of his performance, and because he was dancing on two broken toes! The music for their tango was "Wait A Minute", and, wait a minute, isn't that a Pussycat Dolls song? Nicole? [Big Grin] I liked the sharp head snaps, and it was a slick performance; his toes may not have pointed, but Sabrina's toes were curling! (What the hell does that mean?) Bruno thought he had the details spot on,and his feet were an improvement. Carrie-Ann said that working on the technique actually boosted his performance. Len admired how he nailed the step on the heel on his Viennese crosses.
Scores: Technique 9-8-9 (26), Performance 9-8-9 (26), Total 52

What with taping "Clean House," Niecy hardly has any time to rehearse the rumba with Louis! She has incentive to do so, though, because this week, Louis wants to emphasize the spiritual side of the rumba, and dedicate it to Niecy's brother Michael...who died seventeen years ago. Boy, this woman can do dramatic, and the rumba, to "Taking Chances," proved it! It was powerful yet passionate; she has some moves on her! "That was f***ing awesome!" said Sabrina. Len liked the opening outs, thought she could have used more hip action, and said there were no "highlights" in the dance. Bruno thought it looked like she was in a trance,and her sliding doors were off. Carrie-Ann, however, thought the sliding doors were OK, and saw the emotional connection, but said it was so "internal" that it "didn't read well."
Scores: Technique 6-6-6 (18), Performance 6-6-6 (18), Total 36

(Continued)

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Week 4 - Part 2

Len told Aiden that he needs to "come out and perform." He's kind of a shy guy, reluctant to truly "let go" with Edyta on stage. So what does Edyta do? Make him dance on a cruise ship, as part of a "soap stars" event! And make him take off his shirt, too! It didn't help much in the rumba, to "Live Like We're Dying"; he was loosening a bit, but still seemed stiff and shaky. "I'm not getting a vibe," said Sabrina, and I agree, I'm not sold. While he seemed more comfortable and connected, Carrie-Ann said, he moved too much from the shoulders and not enough from the "core." Len said it had no flow, and "I thought it couldn't get any worse!" Bruno compared his dancing to Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion animation. Hey, I liked the original Clash of the Titans!
Scores: Technique 5-5-5 (15), Performance 6-6-6 (18), Total 33

Nicole and Derek are such goofballs, how are they ever going to buckle down and do the "dance of love"? Len says they need balance, and they tried to accomplish that to "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face." It felt a little intense off the block, but was a beautiful portrayal with plenty of dramatic moves. "Nice! Very nice!" was Sabrina's verdict. Bruno called it beautiful, yet sometimes hesitant, and said her hips could've been better. Carrie-Ann spotted her nerves, especially in her quivering ankles, yet liked her traditional lines. Len thought the balance was correct in her dance between technique and performance, but thought her arms were overextended in her sliding doors.
Scores: Technique 9-8-8 (25), Performance 8-8-9 (25), Total 50

Jake took some of Len's advice to heart, and showed up for rehearsal in a T-shirt saying "TURN UP KEEP UP SHUT UP - Trust Your Pro"! Chelsie was thrilled, but quickly turned into Jake's drill instructor, trying to refine his Viennese crosses. They did the tango to "Never Met a Girl Like You Before", and it was nice, but looks like he was pushing it too hard! In fact, he stumbled badly at one point, and looked like he might have twisted his ankle a bit! "Ouch!" said Sabrina. Len liked how he attacked the dance with energy and enthusiasm, but,because of that, he had incidents. Bruno praised the energy, but called it "messy." Carrie-Ann felt that his hold called his connection with Chelsie into question, but liked it.
Scores: Technique 6-7-6 (19), Performance 7-6-6 (19), Total 38

(Continued)

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Week 4 - Part 3

Kate called last week's critiques "accurate," and Tony says she WANTS to learn the dances, but she just has so many struggles in everyday life. Cue the drama queen whining and crocodile tears! "If you fail, he wins," says Tony. (Fine by me!) Kate kind of pities Tony for having to take on a person like her as a dancer. (As do we all!) They did a tango to "For Your Entertainment," and, to me, her face was showing that she wasn't "getting into it," as was her body. "She's a robot!" said Selena, as they went through a routine that felt WAY too slow for the music. But the judges felt differently. Bruno said "For moments, I actually believed you were dancing!" Carrie-Ann admired her determination. "Tony, you've done a good job," said Len, calling it her best dance so far. Damning with faint praise, perhaps? PLEASE tell me she's going home this week...
Scores: Technique 4-5-5 (14), Performance 6-6-6 (18), Total 32

Chad wants to show off how he can work those hips in the rumba, but knows he has to work on his posture. Cheryl sometimes feels like she's being dragged around the gridiron by Chad...but he did give her...a ring??? (He says it's a "thank you" gift. But that's an awful lotta diamonds for just a "thank you"...) Their rumba, set to "Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart," actually showed considerable improvement in his posture and moves, I think. But maybe it was too much power, not enough romance? Unfortunately, I was drowned out by Sabrina saying "WHOOOO! They were great!" and calling it the most amazing improvement of the competition. All three judges seemed to agree it was his best dance yet. Carrie-Ann and Bruno also liked the hip action. "The hunk is smoldering tonight!" cried Bruno. Well, he would know...
Scores: Technique 7-6-8 (21), Performance 8-7-8 (23), Total 44

"The rumba is a dance for the ballroom, not the bedroom!" Len warned--who else?--Pamela. Fortunately, she sees the rumba as being, well, about sex, but also having a vulnerability to it. As she's presently single, she appreciates having Damian to dance with. (Damian! Don't try to take it beyond the dance floor! That woman has venereal diseases they haven't even discovered yet!) Somehow, out of all that and "I Can't Make You Love Me," Pamela crafted a well-executed rumba that left me speechless. Damn it all, it worked! "HOLY HELL!" said Sabrina. Len liked her two spirals, and thought she might have been a bit overdressed. (Dirty old man! [Big Grin] ) "She can do refinement and elegance, and still be drop-dead sexy!" said Bruno. Carrie-Ann just thought something strange was going on with her arms, but still felt "magic" in the performance. And I, reluctantly, sent a vote her way...if only to keep it away from Kate.
Scores: Technique 7-8-8 (23), Performance 8-7-9 (24), Total 47

Evan has claimed the high score again this week, while this week's lowball is Kate. PLEASE tell me she'll be gone tomorrow! But the viewers still have to have their say! Tune in tomorrow to see if they did the right thing!

-30-

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Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

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Icon 14 posted April 13, 2010 13:20      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Go go local girl Pamela [thumbsup]
Posts: 7781 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 199

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted April 13, 2010 21:05      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 4 - Results

We have some good news about Pamela for you, Snaggy, in tonight's results show! But first we have two couples that are safe...

Chad and Cheryl! This week's performance was definitely a long bomb for him!

And: Jake and Chelsie! Spared the agony of the bottom two this week...but he needs to pull it in a bit!

Len gave his weekly wrapup of our "topsy-turvy night": Erin was under pressure and went wrong, Evan nailed the posture and footwork this week, but Niecy was "the bore on the floor"! Aiden was wooden, not fluid at all...Nicole's nerves got the better of her this week, and Jake sacrificed quality for attack! Meanwhile, Kate had her best performance of the competition (which ain't saying much), Chad felt right at home in the rumba, and Pamela gave a sophisticated, quality performance. This may be why our Judges' Encore for the week was Pamela and Damian's rumba! I am beginning to think I seriously underestimated Ms. Anderson...I allowed my personal loathing of the woman to cloud my better judgement. Or maybe it was my loathing of Ms. Gosselin...

Next week, it's Movie Night, where the dances will be to iconic songs from the movies! We prep for that this week by seeing a bunch of fake movie ads; the first one features Bruno as a serial dance floor killer in Tuesday the 13th. I LOL'd.

Musical guest this week is Sade, who perform their new hit "Baby Father" to accompany Chelsie and Damian dancing. Nice to see the new guy get some action!

Next couple safe: Evan and Anna! This can't be as difficult as hitting a triple-triple combo, can it?

We see some home videos and old photos of Our Pros as kids...and already shaping up as dancers. I don't know if I buy Damian's statement that Australians would rather party on the beach than dance. Has that man even SEEN Strictly Ballroom? Dancesport is Serious Business, all over the world! To underscore that point, we next get a kick-ass routine from five young couples representing the future of ballroom dancing...Sabrina said, "I see some future DWTS pros in that group!" The audience gave them a standing ovation, and rightly so!

We get a couple more fake movie ads: Evan and Niecy in ChaChaBlanca, and Tony appearing, glittery headband and all, in Glambo: First Dance. Funny, but who else is safe?

Nicole and Derek! Don't'cha wish your girlfriend was hot like her, Derek? [Big Grin]

And Pamela and Damian! Fear not, Snaggy, Canada's honor will be upheld (loosely speaking) another week!

The Macy's Stars of Dance performance this week was a WTF mashup that actually worked: the lead ballerina of the New York City Ballet, appearing with a hip-hop violin group. I haven't seen anything like this since the movie Save the Last Dance. Sabrina loved it.

Sade returns to perform "Sweetest Taboo" to a group of four hip-hop dancers. I'd rather have seen them do "Smooth Operator" to accompany a ballroom routine by Our Pros, but this was good, too.

Also safe: Erin and Maks! Maybe Maks can summon the ghost of Patrick Swayze to help with Erin's "spaghetti arms"...

One more movie ad parody: Chad as "Double-Oh-Cho-Cinco" in Dance Another Day! With added bonus: Pam An as "Blonde. Jaymes Blonde." Okay, I LOL'd.

Next safe couple: Kate and Tony! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

This leaves our Not Necessarily Bottom Two as Aiden and Edyta, and Niecy and Louis. And, this week, the couple out are...

Aiden and Edyta! Sorry, Aiden, your character just got killed off!

And as a sendoff, Aiden gets, not only a standing-O from the crowd, but the band playing him out with "We're Not Gonna Take It"! Hmm...is the band delivering a backhanded slap at Kate? That would be extremely cool and awesome...

So, until next week when we get to see Movie Night on DWTS, here's a movie musical number from Eric Cartman!

Well, Kate is a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
She's a mean old bitch if there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls!

On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch,
On Wednesday through Saturday she's a bitch,
Then on Sundays, just to be different,
She's a super King Kamehameha BI-YOTCH!

Have you ever met Ms. Kate Gosselin?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch,
she's a stupid bitch!
Kate is a bitch and she's such a dirty bitch!

I really mean it...
Kate Gosselin...she's a BIG FAT F***IN' BITCH!
Big ol' fat f***in' bitch, Kate Gosselin! Yeah! CHA!


-30-

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 199

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2010 20:27      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 5 - Part 1

We're down to 8 couples, they've chopped 30 minutes off the show to premiere some idiotic romantic comedy, and it's Movie Night on Dancing With The Stars! So let's not dilly-dally and get right to the action!

Niecy is looking forward to "shakin' that thang" to "La Bamba" (from the movie of the same name), but she doesn't know if she can fit through Louis' legs! Oddly enough, Niecy has to calm down a bit for the fast action of the jive! Sabrina said, "She's having f***ing FUN!" as she got into the dance, fringe and "jiggly bits" going everywhere! A little stumble there, but there's obvious energy and she's getting into it! And she finished up with a big ol' smooch on Len's forehead! (Louis actually screwed up a bit there, and was good enough to admit it.) Len liked how she put her personality into the dance and her approach was good, but it was a bit soft and she needed more bounce on her feet, not her "bazookas." Bruno said that while the jive needed to be sharp and precise, she went wrong a bit. ("What about my jiggly bits?" asked Niecy. "Awesome!" confirmed Bruno, proving he is NOT blind. [Big Grin] ) Carrie-Ann called her the "Shimmy Queen," but her bottom half was a little small.
Scores: 6-6-6 (18)

Chad needs a quickstep that's on point, but Cheryl seems to be in a weird mood this week. She says it's just that she was concentrating on doing a good dance, but I wonder if Chad's flirtatious nature is getting her in trouble with her husband? (Is she married? Wikipedia doesn't say.) The dance was to "The Bare Necessities" from The Jungle Book, and Chad came out strong, causing Sabrina to say, "Damn, Chad, holy hell!" His moves were pretty slick, though he missed the footwork a bit. Bruno thought that while he was going for energy, he lost some control and got a little TOO wild. Carrie-Ann called it "uneven" and said his body contact was lacking. The bright spot here was Len, who noted that his posture was better, it was bright and lively, and overall a pretty good job.
Scores: 6-6-6 (18)

Erin and Maks are facing a speedy jive to Pulp Fiction's "You Never Can Tell," and Maks wants to be the guy running the show! The pace is like a workout, the two are disagreeing all over the place...but it came together in the dance. Erin got a chance to show off a bit as Maks pretended to read a menu, then the pace picked up, and Sabrina said "Whoa-hoa!" She's definitely on her game this week. Carrie-Ann liked how she came out and delivered the story, but thought she got ahead of Maks at one point. Len thought she coped well with the tough routine, but that it was a bit hectic. "You've got the Uma magic!" cried Bruno, who noted that her timing was the best ever. Yes, he counted.
Scores: 7-7-8 (22)

(Continued)

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 199

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted April 19, 2010 21:10      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 5 - Part 2

Jake, being a pilot and an analytical kind of guy, wants to know details and facts about his dance, but Chelsie encourages him to let go of that. Their cha-cha-cha is to "Old Time Rock and Roll" from Risky Business, and Jake tries to channel Tom Cruise...by showing up at the studio shirtless and carrying a volleyball. (Um, wrong movie, Jake.) Of course, he had to start by doing the "underpants slide" across the dance floor...but then Chelsie actually had him put his pants on on the dance floor before they got into the routine! (Sabrina screamed at the opening.) Jake was just going nuts out there, to such an extent that I wondered if this was a real cha-cha-cha, but he was really having fun with it. Len loved how he came out 100% and loved the feel of it, but noted that he had ONE mess-up in the routine. "You cheeky bugger!" said Bruno, who said it was one of his best performances. "No guts, no glory!" said Carrie-Ann, who said he had both.
Scores: 8-7-8 (23)

Pamela is doing a quickstep to Dolly Parton's title track to the movie 9 to 5, and she loves Dolly Parton (another woman who's the sole support of two dependents [Big Grin] )...but Damian also has to get her through the extreme workout of the quickstep! Sadly, it wasn't enough to convince gen-yoo-wine country girl Sabrina, who said, "It's too slow! She can NOT do Dolly Parton!" Quite frankly, her routine seemed a bit more "ordinary" to me this time. Bruno noted that her character, as always, was spot on, but she could have used a bit more movement. Carrie-Ann liked her posture, the characterization, and would love to see her on Broadway! All that "messin' about" at the beginning, of course, got Len in his cranky mood, but he liked what dancing there was.
Scores: 7-6-8 (21)

Kate is supposed to be doing "Don't You Forget About Me" from The Breakfast Club, but Tony can't seem to get her to "get it." "She has no motivation!" says Tony. (FREE TONY!) This was supposed to be a foxtrot, but it sure didn't look like one to me. At least she looks like she's enjoying herself now. "This is painful to watch," muttered Sabrina darkly. It was dead! Carrie-Ann saw some sort of little grace developing...but it was all "wah wah wah," like the teachers in the Charlie Brown cartoons. Len thought it was "more of a stroll than a dance," though neat and precise. Bruno takes the cake, though, with the comment "Tony could have had more life from a frock on a coat hanger!" He thought she was regressing: "this needed a post-mortem, not a critique! You need to learn and progress, otherwise, what's the bloody point?" Bruno, I have one thing to say: YOU JUST F***ING GO!!!
Score: 5-5-5 (15)

(Continued)

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 199

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted April 19, 2010 21:29      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 5 - Part 3

Nicole was very upset after her rumba last week, but vows to do better this week in her tango to "Pretty Woman" (from the movie of the same name). To help her get into character, Derek takes her on a shopping spree in Beverly Hills...where she, like all women, knows how to blow money! Their tango was just flying! The moves were sharp as a tack! "I think she's BACK!" said Sabrina, and the crowd agreed, giving her a standing ovation! "This was your best dance," said Len, "and the best dance of the season so far." "Two players at the top of their game!" cried Bruno. "Portrayed to perfection!" "You guys are superstars!" said Carrie-Ann. "Your lines are incredible!" I smell HIGH SCORE!
Scores: 10-9-10 (29)

Evan is spending most of his time traveling with the Stars on Ice show, and Anna gets to come with him, as they practice the rumba during his off-hours! Evan has to make sure and get the hip action in, something unnatural for skaters, who tend to keep their hips firm for stability. The dance was to "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing," from Armageddon, and made Sabrina say, "Oh my God!" It was precise, yet had plenty of sizzle, and yes, he did get the hips moving! Bruno called his top lines "exquisite" and just mentioned his hips were getting better, though he called the criticism "like picking at a diamond." Carrie-Ann praised the "beautiful, tender sophistication," and admired his fluid lines, though she felt there was just a teeny disconnect between his upper and lower halves. Len loved the artistry, the musicality, the fluidity in his arms, and his hip action: "Great job!"
Scores: 9-9-9 (27)

Nicole has reclaimed the top of the leader board, tying her best score (29) and just missing the Perfect Thirty. Meanwhile, Kate is in the cellar with 15. But the viewers saved her before, will they again? Tomorrow night...we find out!

-30-

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Erbo
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 199

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted April 20, 2010 19:51      Profile for Erbo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 5 - Results

With as wild and wacky as the results have been this season, damn near ANYTHING could happen to our stars this week, so let's start by hearing the first call-outs...

Nicole and Derek...are safe! And, after a tango like that, the couple ought to get married! [Big Grin]

Kate and Tony...are in the Bottom Two! And Sabrina and I both say, "Yes! There is a God!"

Next we go to the Len Recap of the week...Erin coped very well with her routine, Jake went from "supporting cast" to "leading man," and Pam's performance was closer to a 5 than a 9; it was a trailer, not a film! Niecy came out kind of lackluster, while Chad had better posture but still isn't living up to his potential technique-wise, and Kate...well, this is supposed to be "Dancing With the Stars," not "Strolling With the Stars." Meanwhile, Evan set a very very high standard for his best scores so far, and Nicole..."woo-hoo-hoo!"

That said, it may surprise you to hear that the Judges' Encore for the week is...Jake and Chelsie, with Jake's pants-off dance-off at the start of the cha-cha-cha! ("I can't watch!" said Sabrina. "Let me know when he puts his britches back on!" I obliged by cueing her at the right moment: "Pants on!") This time, though, it was Chelsie who was in danger of a "wardrobe malfunction," as she was about to fall out of that silver fringed dress! Some skillful en-route adjustments by Jake and his co-pilot kept the FCC from having to get involved.

Maxwell took the stage to sing his new hit "Fist Full of Tears," accompanied by a couple of Guest Pros doing a terrific routine. I won't hold it against Maxwell that he looks a bit like Barack Obama. He sure sings better than Obama, anyhow.

Chad and Cheryl...are in jeopardy! "In jeopardy"? What the frak is this crap? More innovation in Pad-The-Show®©tm technology?

Niecy and Louis...are safe! Jiggle on, Niecy. Jiggle on.

Adam Carolla really should stick to Loveline, so I won't bother with any of the bull he was spewing.

For the Macy's Stars of Dance segment this week, famed choreographer Debbie Allen created a salute to the movies. The "Puttin' On the Ritz" segment was classy. The Saturday Night Fever and Austin Powers segments were cool. But the remade Fame segment, reimagined as hip-hop, was downright awesome.

Latin newcomer Debi Nova took the dance floor to sing AND dance, accompanied in the latter by Dmitry, Tony, Derek, and Damian. She's trying to do her routine like Shakira...and as the LOLcats might say, "Ur doin it...pretty well akshully!" This gal's one to watch.

Evan and Anna...are safe! They're doing a lot better than Anna would probably do on the Fox show Skating with Celebrities! [Big Grin]

Jake and Chelsie...are in jeopardy! And this time, not of an accidental nip slip! [Big Grin]

Erin and Maks...are safe! Despite the bickering, these two are getting it done!

Pamela and Damian...are in jeopardy! Maybe Pam should've pulled a gun out of her purse and threatened to turn Len from a rooster to a hen with one shot! [evil]

This concludes "Round 1" of the results, so now we have to see who accompanies Kate and Tony in the bottom two...

Jake and Chelsie...are safe! Our ersatz Tom Cruise continues his own Mission Impossible!

Chad and Cheryl...are safe! Ochocinco survived Week Cinco!

So Pamela and Damian join Kate and Tony in the bottom two. And...this week...the couple knocked out are...

Kate and Tony!!! That sound you just heard was the voices of millions of people, from sea to shining sea, raising their voices in a scream of celebration! Guess what, Super-Bitch? You are OUTTA HERE!!!!

Tony is very gracious towards his erstwhile student, being a father of three himself. (Oh, come on, Tony. I just know you're anxious to get to the bar and hoist a few to celebrate your freedom. Hell, I'd buy you a drink. I suspect you'll get drinks bought for you even after Season 10's finals are over.) Kate, for her part, is crying some very calculated crocodile tears, and Tom even suspends rolling her "farewell package" so they can get some extra talk time in. Never mind; she is gone. And for that, I am grateful.

But all this means is that, when the NEXT elimination happens next week, it's gonna hurt worse. And next week, we get the first-ever "Swing Marathon," as well as "stars get to design the costumes" week! The show ain't over yet by a long shot, so keep it right here!

-30-

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