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Author Topic: Completely Unofficial Non-Review DWTS Thread
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Icon 1 posted September 23, 2009 11:30            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm not doing the same sort of reviews I did for last season's Dancing With The Stars this season--hell, I wasn't even able to watch the entirety of the 2-night premieres, due to one thing and another--but I have some small observations so far.

Donny Osmond: Damn, he's pretty good! And he's well-liked by the audience. That could translate into a good run at the Cheesy Mirrorball Trophy.

Louie Vito: He may look scruffy, but he's taking this competition seriously, and don't count him out.

Tom DeLay: I'm probably going to take a lot of flak for this, but he looked better coming out of the gate than Steve Wozniak did last season, and I'm not saying this just to support a fellow conservative. The field is so good, though, that I'm uncertain how long he's gonna last. (I expect him to survive this week--Ashley Hamilton's a more inviting target for a Week 1 exit--but he'll have to step it up if he wants to keep going.)

Kelly Osbourne: Holy frak! Where the hell did THAT come from? She's good. Very good. I was about to drip tears right along with The Prince of F**kin' Darkness himself. I'm as stunned as Bruno was, and that's saying a mouthful.

Joanna Krupa: Definitely setting the bar on the ladies' side. 'Nuff said.

Expected exits tonight: Ashley Hamilton for the men, and either Macy Gray or Kathy Ireland for the ladies.

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Icon 1 posted September 23, 2009 18:40            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
First out is Ashley Hamilton. As expected.

Congressman DeLay, though, has his work cut out for him. He's probably next to go unless he steps it up. Fortunately for him, though, if anyone can get him through it, it's 2-time pro champ Cheryl.

Kelly Osbourne got the judges' encore for the week. I mean, how could she not?

Beautiful performance of "The Circle of Life." Sabrina loved it.

And Macy Gray also eliminated. Again, not surprising. But we'll miss her bleeped-out outbursts.

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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2009 09:26            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Week 2, September 28...

Inspired choice of Baz Luhrmann as guest judge. He's got a different perspective from ol' Lenny...

Chuck: What the frak was that tango? Oh, it had "impact," all right, I just wasn't sure what it was.

Melissa: She went for it, but it wasn't a full-on jive, she missed steps.

Michael: Outperformed expectations here.

Debi: She and Maks definitely have electricity!

Louie: The kid is HOT! Nice, precise footwork from him.

Aaron: Both WOW and ROFL. [Big Grin] Great guest shot by Animal and Gonzo.

Kelly: She deserves a throwing of the goat \m/, but I think the pressure may have got to her a bit this week.

Kathy: Too much Disney, not enough quickstep, is how I characterize it. The judges were generous.

Mya: Definitely no "5" scores tonight!

Tom: Oh God, that stumble at the end! Pity, he was doing pretty damn well right up till that point. He lucked out getting as high as 18.

Donny: The dance of the night, IMHO. This week, "theatrics" worked in his favor, and I don't think that's entirely due to Len not being there to judge.

Who gets booted tonight: Either Kathy or Tom. I want to say "Kathy for sure," but I really know it's basically a coin-flip.

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Icon 1 posted September 29, 2009 20:18            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Judges' encore: Mya. Baz Luhrmann had reasons, namely, to help get the crowd moving...

The top 3 couples were announced as "safe" first; the rest of the field is separated in their scores by just 3 points. The rest of the dancers were brought up later in "tranches" by score to find out who was safe and who was in the bottom 3.

We get a look at the new DWTS training facility...12,000 square feet, 6 dance studios, one of them a precise mock-up of the ballroom stage.

When they brought the USC Trojans Marching Band in, Sabrina (who played clarinet in her high school marching band) loved it. I think my brother Michael (who played tuba in his school's band) would have liked it, too. Pity he's in Italy and couldn't watch...

Joss Stone has some pipes on her, and she has soul! Gotta find some of her stuff...

Congressman DeLay is safe! I guess people do still vote Republican out there! [Big Grin]

The bottom three: Kathy, Debi, and Louie. Louie is safe, and, as I expected, Kathy is out.

Next week: samba and rumba! Hope Donny can cope with the rumba, if he draws it...

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Icon 1 posted October 05, 2009 21:18            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This week, the Samba and the Rumba! But Tom DeLay is suffering from that stress fracture...it might be touch-and-go for him tonight.

Mark was hampered by crappy music (the DWTS Music Curse strikes again!), and I think that killed him.

Derek's rope trick might or might not have helped Joanna. I didn't think she was fast enough, but the judges ranked her high. Maybe I'm overestimating just how fast a samba has to be?

My, my, my, my, Mya! That one was hot enough to earn the first 10's of the season...but in a 10-7-10 split, with Len the low-scoring holdout. WTF, Len?

Melissa's dance was a little hesitant, but tasty. Len and Carrie-Ann harshed her gig, though.

Louie combed his hair! And it makes him look older! Sabrina's reaction to his dance: "DAMN!" The chemistry between him and Chelsie was great; sadly, Len was the party pooper again.

Debi worked it in a dizzy fashion, and lost one of her flowers. But there was really no spark. (And Len needs some Prozac. NOW.)

Donny really shed those Mormon inhibitions, first on the dance floor, then in mauling poor Bruno! "They might not let me back in Utah now!" he quipped. The moment to remember of the night!

Michael's number had no real energy or rhythm. He was low scorer this week.

Tom danced with, not just one, but TWO feet with stress fractures! He hung in there through it, but he just might have to drop out of the competition...

And big appearance by Kelly "Hot Lips" Osbourne! She did better than last week, but still needs to have more confidence in herself.

Prediction: Tom may officially withdraw tomorrow night, obviating the need for an elimination. But if not, it'll either be him or Michael that gets kicked.

Oh, and they're having a trio of "statistical experts" handicap the field tomorrow night. One of those experts is The Woz...but another one is a chimpanzee. We'll see...

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Icon 1 posted October 06, 2009 20:24            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The judges' encore for the week was Chuck's dance, surprisingly! Not the highest rated, but he did have fun with it.

Queen Latifah sang as Maks and Cheryl danced. I kind of wish, instead of this R&B number, she'd done one of the torch songs off The Dana Owens Album, which would have made for a beautiful ballroom number, but this worked well, too.

A 13-point spread among the competitors this week, with Michael in last place and Mya in first.

Tom DeLay was saved from elimination...but, sadly, the gentleman from Texas had to bow out of the competition, due to those stress fractures in his feet. It was probably the smartest thing he could have done. Sorry, Congressman DeLay, but I salute you nonetheless! o7

Kelly "Hot Lips" Osbourne got a little coy while talking to Samantha! Hmmm...

Also featured tonight: Jabbawocky, who won the contest one year on MTV's show America's Top Dance Crew. They did "Singin' in the Rain," hip-hop style, and Sabrina loved it.

Queen Latifah did a second performance, "Ease On Down The Road" from The Wiz. She really knows how to work a room!

We get some statistical "insights" from THE WOZ (who picked Donny and Mya to be the "scientific" winners), Matthew Berry (who picked Aaron and Natalie), and a toddler (who picked Melissa).

The bottom 4 this week were Debi, Aaron, Michael, and Joanna. Debi went home. Counting Tom's withdrawal, that means only 11 couples remaining.

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Icon 1 posted October 12, 2009 21:51            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This week, four all-new dances show up on DWTS; the bolero, the Charleston, the country two-step, and the "Forbidden Dance," the lambada! Whoo-ee! And lifts are allowed this week, so STFU, Carrie-Ann! [Big Grin]

Chuck did OK on the lifts in his two-step, but it was kind of "meh" to me; Bruno and Carrie-Ann were more charitable.

The Charleston could be Melissa's breakout; it was a fun dance. It sure got a 10 and a fist pump from Bruno!

Natalie's bolero was very flexible and sensual; on the other hand, Aaron's lambada got pretty exciting and wild, and I think he popped a boner there during the dance! Pity the judges didn't like it as much; he kinda needs to chill.

Mark tried to do a Garth Brooks bit in his two-step; Sabrina's verdict on it was "FAIL!" He lost his footing but the judges were generous in comments.

Kelly and Louis were working the Liza Minelli and, well, Joel Grey, but Sabrina called him "Taco," thing. She NAILED that sumbitch! In my opinion, she got a raw deal from the judges.

Derek seemed to be the eyecatcher in Joanna's routine, dancing a shirtless lambada! Len wants this one as the judges' encore tomorrow night! It was good, and got high scores.

Oh, Donny, what a ham you are! But that Charleston of his got a richly-deserved standing ovation.

Michael didn't move a lot in his dance, and to me, it felt like a clean miss. Len did give him a better score this week, though. Meanwhile, Louie and Chelsie took a trip to Ty Murray's ranch to help "country him up," but I think he needed to loosen up in his two-step.

Oh, Mya really got the raunch rolling in her lambada! Check the thermostat! But will NOTHING please Len? Last week she got 10-7-10, this week, 10-8-10!

Prediction: I think Michael is toast tomorrow night.

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Icon 1 posted October 13, 2009 20:30            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Melissa, with a 9-point jump, had the biggest week-on-week score improvement in DWTS history! Is it any wonder she got the encore tonight?

Guest star for this week: Shakira! With a track off her new album! And lots of Asian drums!

The low scorers for the week were Michael and Louie, with Mya and Melissa (!) tied for the lead.

Aaron is in the bottom 2?!?!?

The new Bachelor was announced on tonight's show, too. Meh.

We got an exhibition of next week's dances, the Argentine Tango and the Paso Doble, by the pros. I always love seeing those. There'll be a group Hustle next week, too! (Please, guys, use the original Van McCoy track for that!)

All the ladies are safe this week...and so is Michael! WTF?!?!?

A cute segment about the stars' kids, making everyone go "Awwww!"

Shakira is back, singing her intergalactic hit "Hips Don't Lie" and belly-dancing her heart out! She's a first-rate belly dancer; the ladies of Milk & Honey could learn a thing or two from her! Sabrina loved it.

Time for another segment: STRESS!!!! DRAMA!!!! PAD THE SHOW!!!!!! [Razz]

Finally, we get to see the other guy in the bottom 2: Chuck. And Chuck, alas, is eliminated. I take it this was a bit of a shocker; I thought for sure Michael would go, and, if not him, Louie would.

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Icon 1 posted October 15, 2009 12:46      Profile for Mr. Geek 2U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Erbo:
That one was hot enough to earn the first 10's of the season...but in a 10-7-10 split, with Len the low-scoring holdout. WTF, Len?

Len is the English curmudgeon required on all broadcast US talent shows.

No offence to our Englishster friends here. Just speaking the truths!

Mr. Geek 2U!

--------------------
My friends call me Skippy

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Icon 1 posted October 19, 2009 21:23            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Tonight, we see that, just as some of the celebrities have been fighting injuries, some of the pros are fighting...the flu!

Natalie got one of those DWTS clunkers as music for her paso...but she looked strong. She did good, but not super. And Carrie-Ann got into a lift quibble....

Aaron's Argentine tango was about the precision, and Sabrina got chills watching it! A standing ovation from the crowd, well deserved! But, please, Bruno, no damn Twilight references, OK?

Michael's paso was flashy, but I didn't see the characteristic paso footwork. The judges were more charitable towards him...and Bruno got a memento: the nickel Michael had been clenching in his buttocks to improve his posture! [Eek!]

Unfortunately, with Mya, we had to endure a bit of left-wing propaganda...but her Argentine tango was impressive! She knows her character! The dancing was precise and exciting.

Mark's paso was quite dramatic, with a couple of standout solo bits...he seems to have this one nailed nicely.

Donny's Argentine tango was too hot for Utah! [Big Grin] Sabrina got chills again watching it. And he sure knows how to play his moments with Bruno! The 10-9-10 score put him on top this week.

Louie did an Argentine tango as well, which seemed slow, but controlled, fiery, and intense. More chills for Sabrina!

Melissa's Argentine tango had the magic goin' on tonight, even if it was a little sloppy here and there. Sabrina must have needed a blanket from all the chills! (And Mark sputtered a little with the flu during practice...so Anna Trebunskaya came in to give Melissa a new perspective on her part!)

Kelly's paso doble...was set to "Crazy Train"! Oh my God! I don't think I've ever seen a "gothic, metal paso" before...and her nerves showed less. The Prince of F**kin' Darkness himself (in the audience tonight) could not have done better!

Derek was laid out with the flu, so Joanna danced tonight with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, and their Argentine tango had me saying, "Gentlemen, that is the way we do that!" Even if she did stumble a bit.

And now, the group Hustle! They used the right music for the dance for once, "Do The Hustle" as made famous by Van McCoy and the Soul City Symphony! Kelly had to dance barefoot, because she hurt her foot earlier, but every one of the stars turned in a performance that made it as much fun as I've ever seen on DWTS.

But one of the couples has to go tomorrow night...just you wait!

(Oh, and, G2U, Len seemed a lot more chipper tonight...I was wondering if he were on Prozac? [Big Grin] )

UPDATE: Kelly Osbourne was rushed to the hospital last night for her foot injury, which apparently happened when she banged her foot the wrong way on the floor at the end of her paso, causing her shoe buckle to strike her foot. She was acompanied by her father, the Prince of F**king Darkness. No further word on her condition.

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Icon 1 posted October 20, 2009 20:23            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Kelly was in a lot of pain when she got rushed to the hospital last night...but she just has a sprain and minor contusion, and should be good to go next week.

Tonight's judges' encore: DONNY!!! No more "Mr. White & Nerdy," his routine was just as hot as last night!

Over the years, a total of seventeen Michael Jackson songs have been used on DWTS. So we get little tribute vignettes from some of the pros that have danced them.

Norah Jones is the musical guest tonight, with a track from her new album. It's funkier than her usual stuff, but it's good stuff.

The top three dancers were Mark, Donny, and Mya, and they're all safe! Three of them scored 24 points...of those, Joanna and Aaron are in jeopardy, while Kelly is safe! And, of our two lowest scorers, Michael is safe, but Natalie is in jeopardy!

Norah Jones sings "Come Away With Me." Beautiful song. Beautiful dance from Jonathan and Anna. (That was their wedding song, too! Awwwww!!!)

Of the last two, Louie is safe, but Melissa is in jeopardy!

The Macy's Stars of Dance routine this week is a tribute to Michael Jackson, beginning with a short speech by La Toya, then we get dances to "I Want You Back," "Man In the Mirror," and "Thriller"...culminating in the "Thriller" dance itself! (Sabrina was in tears, she likes that song and that dance routine so much.)

Stunningly, Natalie was eliminated...and she got a standing ovation to see her off, judges included. Well done, Natalie!

Next week, we get a Mambo Marathon! Yow!

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Icon 1 posted October 26, 2009 20:29            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Double elimination this week and next, whittling the field down from tonight's 9 to 5 over the next 2 weeks...and the Dance-Off returns! Here's how it works...this week and next, the lowest-scoring-overall couple gets booted off automatically; the NEXT TWO lowest-scoring couples compete in a dance-off using a new dance, new music, new everything, and the judges decide which of THOSE two also gets booted.

"Team D-Mya" did the jitterbug this week, and Mya is getting massage therapy to cope with the stress! She kept in character, and it was an entertaining and fun dance.

Melissa got some help from Mark's mom, dance pro Shirley Ballas, preparing for the waltz. Unfortunately, it looked like she was still having issues, I could see the strain in her face, and it just didn't gell for me. Bruno was harsh, while Len was supportive, a pattern that they held to for much of the night. (I wonder what meds Len's taking? I wonder what meds Bruno's not taking?)

To get Mark in the mood for the jitterbug, Lacey took him to a jitterbug club. He threw in some gymnastic moves that would've made Season 8 winner Shawn Johnson sit up and take notice! But a teensy bit stiff, perhaps...still, great fun.

Aaron seemed to be wooing Karina, presenting her with some flowers before they rehearsed their waltz. (Maybe he's heard that her relationship with Maks fell through?) Their waltz left me saying, "That was right."

Michael got support from the callers on ESPN Radio, but his waltz this week...God, I wanted to like it, but it just seemed like it was trying to come together, yet failing.

Kelly needs to believe in herself, so Louis put her on a trapeze! Their jitterbug might have been a tad slow, but it was definitely fun to watch.

Louie vowed to apply "snowboard" moves to his jitterbug, and whatever he did, it worked; he's not just walking through it this week! It was big and fancy, including a nice backflip off the judges' table. And the full smooch at the end got a big "WOOOOOOOO!!!!" from Sabrina. Maybe another budding couple in the making?

Joanna did the waltz, and, oh damn, that was good! She's a real competitor, and she brought Bruno back from his sulk!

ABC, can we please lay off the liberal propaganda, and get to Donny's jitterbug? He was playing to the crowd tonight, and it showed! It was a rockin' routine. (Sadly, there was no "moment" between him and Bruno this week...)

Now comes...The Group Competition Mambo Marathon! This will be a four-minute event, with the couples all starting out on the dance floor, then getting removed by the judges one by one. First to go gets 2 extra points; last couple standing gets 10. Clear as mud? Here's the knockout order: Michael (2 points), Louie (3), Melissa (4), Kelly (5), Mark (6), Donny (7), Aaron (8), Mya (9), and the big finisher was Joanna (10). The judges actually liked this format, so maybe we'll see it in future seasons, too.

Tomorrow night we get a double elimination, part of which is decided by the aforementioned dance-off. Let's see what this does...

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Icon 1 posted October 27, 2009 20:25            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Double Elimination Night on DWTS starts off with Taylor Swift singing her new song, "Jump Then Fall." PLEASE tell me Kanye West isn't in the ballroom!!!

On the leaderboard this week, Joanna is at the top, and Michael is at the bottom. Joanna and Mark are the first two called "safe."

We have a "oh, scary!" pad-the-show segment about the double elimination, then find out Donny and Aaron are also safe!

Tiempo Libre takes the stage with some hot latin music, with dances to match!

Next week, the stars get to create the costumes for their pro partners, so let's pad the show some more to talk about that! And the last two "safe" are Mya and Kelly, so Melissa, Louie, and Michael are in the bottom 3.

Taylor Swift came back to sing her monster hit "Love Story." Still no Kanye West, thank God, but lots of dancing on the stairs and the balcony. And I love the Celtic/Renaissance Faire costumes on the ladies...

We pad the show with insights from Nadia Comanechi, Greg Louganis, and Bill Walton on the elusive "perfect 10." Nadia has aged well, I think...

Melissa was eliminated straight away, to a standing ovation from the crowd. Which means Louie and Michael will be performing in the DANCE-OFF!!!

Michael chose to perform a samba, and he had that hip action going! Get funky, y'all! Meanwhile, Louie did a jive with sharp feet and definite action, throwing a lot of content in. Despite that, the judges' votes went 2-1 for Michael (Bruno being the lone holdout), and Louie was also eliminated.

Stay tuned for more wild wackiness next week!

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Icon 1 posted October 27, 2009 20:37            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
We started with 16 couples. 8 have now been eliminated. With Tom DeLay having withdrawn, that brings us down to 7 celebs...and it's time to handicap the remaining field.

THE TOP TIER - One of these couples should go on to lift the Cheesy Disco Ball Trophy in triumph.

Joanna & Derek - She's a consistent performer in recent weeks, and may be the best bet to go all the way.

Mya & Dmitry - She also tends to score really well; if she can just "crack the code" and get that elusive 10 from Len, she could go all the way.

Donny & Kym - Donny plays to the crowd every night, and they love him for it. If he can develop consistent performance and keep from killing himself with the routines, he could steal it.

THE REST OF THE PACK - Any of these could break out into the top tier at any time...or bust out of the competition next week.

Mark & Lacey - A strong competitor, Mark just needs to hit his stride to make it work for him.

Aaron & Karina - If he can show some consistency and keep from crying, he's going to go far.

Kelly & Louis - Remember Mr. Holland's Opus, when Mr. Holland helped Gertrude Lang with her clarinet troubles by telling her to "Play the sunset" and trying to get her to feel the music from within? Kelly needs a "Gertrude Lang moment," double pronto. She needs to believe in herself and trust her training, 'cos it's sabotaging her out there on the ballroom floor. She can do it, she just needs to believe it.

Michael & Anna D. - Somehow, Michael has held on long enough to show a sharp upswing in his dance ability, mainly, I think, due to fan votes. With the field narrowing so rapidly, though, he'd better improve more, rapidly, or he's gonna find himself sidelined. Rookie pro Anna Demidova has worked wonders with him thusfar; does she have another miracle up her sleeve?

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Icon 1 posted November 02, 2009 22:49            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Tonight, we have individual dances, plus a team faceoff for added points...it's going to be a nailbiter, and the judges' eyes are getting stricter for details, so it's time to step it up!

First, the pros demonstrated the two "team dances," the paso doble and the tango. I always love those. Can we vote to put more pros on the show? [Big Grin] Then we see from the entrance that Lacey is down with the flu, so Anna ("Trebunskaya," not "Demidova") subbed in for her with Mark tonight. Good; I like her.

Round 1...FIGHT!

Michael needs to emphasize his showmanship in the foxtrot. He seemed to take to this dance, and he may have pulled off the miracle he needs to survive another week. At the end, he gave high-fives all around.

Donny needs to remember his steps in the quickstep! Kym gave him a "posture bar" to use to help him keep his frame. His dance was good, as I'd expect, and fun, as I'd expect; if you saw his face, you'd see that he was lovin' it as well. He made a few mistakes, but always covered them well, earning good marks and praise from the judges.

Mark was planning on a samba with Lacey, but she got the bug, and Mark told her, "Go home." Tony helped him out with practice, and Anna finished that as well as dancing with him tonight. There were some "over the top" moves in his dance, but Sabrina just said, "Too much kung fu!" She didn't like it. Len, though, was unnaturally effusive.

Mya needed to keep from thinking too much about her steps in the foxtrot...and Cloris Leachman came in to help coach her through it! It was a top-drawer dance, her characterization was good, and I loved the ending (in silhouette, like the beginning). Len was Old Sourpuss again, but, according to Carrie-Ann, "[he's] smoking crack!" [evil]

Aaron is doing a jive, and he feels the need...for speed! He even took some athletic training to work on the speed of his footwork, and, oh boy, did it show! He might have dropped off a bit in energy, but from the lightning-quick beginning to the "look Ma, no hands!" ending, it worked. Len said he was "tempted to dust off me' 10 paddle"...and he did! Bruno also contributed a 10-and-a-fist-pump, and, with Carrie-Ann's 9, Aaron came away with the high score of the night.

Kelly needs to focus on her salsa...and finally had a major meltdown during practice. However...I think that meltdown may have been the precursor to her "Gertrude Lang moment"! The salsa was excellent, even if she did look a little like she was still concentrating, and she pulled it off! All three judges stood to deliver their good comments, and Bruno even stood on the desk!

Joanna and Derek are doing the rumba, the dance of love...and we're treated to a rather painful beach dream sequence of Derek's romantic fantasies. Fortunately, the dance didn't seem to suffer for it...until Joanna caught her foot in her costume and bobbled a bit. Damn! She still finished well.

Now...Round 2...FIGHT!

Team Paso, consisting of Aaron, Mya, Mark, and Michael, plus their pro partners, debated amongst themselves, but, thanks to the influence of Michael and others, melded into a decent team. They started off...well, a bit off. Aaron looked like he lost it in his solo; Michael was strong, while Mark was flashy. Mya, I think, stumbled a bit, and lost an earring in the fracas. The ending seemed a bit messed up. Still, they earned generous marks from the judges, which will be applied to each of their individual scores.

Meanwhile, Joanna, Donny, and Kelly, plus their pro partners, make up Team Tango, and Donny is to be made the star of the show, with the ladies fawning over him! Kelly, who tanked a tango earlier this season, is looking for redemption. Is Donny getting the flu? Oh no! The opening was much sharper than Team Paso's, and Donny was lovin' it! Kelly showed that yes, she had the "moment" and was "dancing the sunset!" Donny was powerful, and Joanna was, as always, great! The ending was just unbelievable; raise the roof, this one's headed for the moon! Unfortunately, Carrie-Ann saw...lifts? Aw, frak! Nonetheless, Team Tango was the clear winner.

Tomorrow night, another double elimination, complete with dance-off! (After the lizards show up...complete with Inara as Queen Lizard...)

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Icon 1 posted November 03, 2009 22:54            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The results show begins with this week's encore...Team Tango! Aw, yeah!

Quick recap: Mark is low man on the leaderboard, while Joanna is on top.

First safe: Kelly! First in bottom 3: Mark!

Colbie Calliat is the first musical guest, playing her new single, accompanied by Alec and Edyta dancing. More pros, please!

Second safe: Donny! Second in bottom 3: Michael!

Hey, did you know Derek and Mark could sing, too, in addition to dancing? Well, they can! Sabrina liked it, and wants to find their album. I think it'll probably go over well in the clubs...

We pad the show with a Fight Club-ish segment, then we see that Mya and Joanna are safe, and Aaron is the last one in the bottom 3 this week.

Up now: Rod Freakin' Stewart! After all these years, the old guy still knows how to rock the house! What a performance!

After another "pad the show" segment, we see who gets this week's Insta-Knockout: Michael!!! Kind of unexpected, but he takes it like the true gentleman he is. I salute you, sir! [Applause]

So now it comes down to the dance-off: Mark vs. Aaron to see who stays and who goes...

Mark, who now has Lacey back, since she recovered, did a wild and crazy cha-cha-cha complete with tricks galore. It was a great, athletic performance, and he got high praise for it.

Aaron chose to do a jive, similar to what he did last night...and he completely knocked it out of the park. It was as good as last night (Bruno's opinion), if not better (Carrie-Ann's opinion), and it resulted in a unanimous judges' decision for Aaron. So Mark is also knocked out.

Well, at this point, all the lightweights are gone. The three top-tier celebs are still in fine form, Aaron is on a tear, and Kelly has found her mojo. Now, whoever's eliminated next, it's gonna hurt. Next week, it's pucker time!

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Icon 1 posted November 09, 2009 21:51            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This is the quarterfinals, and our five remaining hoofers are doing two dances apiece tonight! Every point counts, so let's get to it!

BALLROOM ROUND

Mya started it rolling with a quickstep, for which she and Dmitry prepared by actually doing some horseback riding. Her start was straightforward, but Sabrina thought she was off. She hit her stride later, and I think the judges let her off easy; she collected a pair of 10's.

Aaron and Karina are getting personal...could there be something between them? They've got a foxtrot, and Karina was getting sick, so they were practicing wearing surgical masks. It looked to me to be a very well-meshed, enjoyable performance; I have no idea where the comments about it being "not fluid" came from.

Joanna, for her quickstep, got sneaky; she reviewed tapes of Mya's performances to find areas she could work on! I was liking it, but again, Sabrina felt the timing was off and it didn't really come together.

A couple of the infamous Osbourne dogs visited Kelly at the studio while she was working on her foxtrot...but Louis would have none of those distractions, and even locked up her iPhone! The horror! It must have done something right, though, because she was smooth, her posture was excellent, and her footwork was good.

Donny's getting kind of burnt, but he's not gonna let that get in his way! The Viennese waltz he did was very graceful and strong, and had me grinning like a maniac. Len seemed a bit fussy, but Donny got in a good zinger on the judges!

"LATIN DECADES ROUND"

Um...WTF is that? Well, it's a twist; in addition to performing a Latin dance routine, our stars have to incorporate the flavor of a specific decade into the dance. Consider that a moment while we watch the pros perform. More pros, please!

First up, Mya with a 70's style samba, into which she wanted to incorporate the moves of the disco era, evoking Diana Ross and Donna Summer. And did she ever! That routine (to "Bad Girls," apropos enough) could have come straight off the floor of the fabled Studio 54! The moves worked well for her, and the result...PERFECT 30!!! (First one of the season!)

Aaron got "the 90's" for his samba, which is, or should be, right in his wheelhouse, as both he and his older brother were big in that decade! He incorporated some of his old dance moves into the samba, which really highlighted his energy and was fun to watch...even if he did almost hurl on the ballroom floor! [Eek!]

Joanna and Derek are out to present "the paso doble of the future"...what does that mean? Well, apparently, it means they go out there looking like Lady Gaga meets David Bowie, and do a lot of synchronized moves in a very robotic fashion. I guaran-damn-tee you, you've NEVER seen anything like it. [Big Grin]

Kelly's jive was out of the 60's, and, having learned the moves for one of her own music videos, this should work for her. She started off with a doll, which she passed to Bruno...but the pass on the field was ruled: "IN! COM! PLETE!" [Big Grin] Sabrina thought it was slow. Me? Not so much. And it was fun to watch, especially when she ended up on Bruno's lap at the end, doll and all.

That leaves 80's paso for Donny...and he not only has the idea of the paso down, he has the mullet to match! Dressed like Adam Ant, he pulled off a flashy, powerful paso that had great stage presence...and you know Donny; he ALWAYS plays to the crowd...

Wow! Gonna be hard to let someone go tomorrow night!

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Icon 1 posted November 10, 2009 20:38            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
For tonight's encore, we get to see Joanna and Derek do the futuristic paso again. Cue up Trans-X's "Living On Video"! Despite not being a "Perfect Thirty," this dance may go down as one of the all-time classic DWTS performances.

At the top of the leader board is Mya, while Aaron and Donny share the bottom slot this week. First one safe: Joanna!

We do the whole "recap last night" show-padding bit, then introduce the first musical guest: Michael Buble, whose updated-standards sound is perfect to accompany Maks, Jonathan, Cheryl, and Anna's dance routine.

Second one safe: Mya!

And now, it's time for DanceCenter, where Season 2 loserboy Kenny Mayne is joined by Jerry Rice and Len to handicap the remaining competitors in a parody of ESPN's SportsCenter. Of course, Donny and Bruno managed to steal the show in a "backstage interview"...

The Design-A-Dance dance is tonight, and it's Sabrina Bryan dancing with Mark Ballas, doing a paso doble to "Eye of the Tiger." The Survivor song is well-suited to paso, as Joey McIntyre and Ashly DelGrosso proved back in Season 1, and Sabrina and Mark do it well. Sabrina was a powerful dancer, so powerful she was scaring my Sabrina! [Eek!]

Michael Buble took the stage again, for one of his classic hits, and they brought a couple of "stunt pros" in for this one. After another time-waster, we find out who the third safe slot goes to: Donny!

Making her U.S. TV debut tonight, is the golden voice familiar to YouTube users around the world: Scottish singer Susan Boyle. This is probably exactly the right show for her to perform on, and a fabulous dance performance by Tony and Chelsie didn't hurt either!

Another DanceCenter segment, and this one was getting annoying; it actually had me yelling at the TV set: "SHUT THE F**K UP, KENNY!!!"

And after all that...the celebrity knocked out this week is...AARON!

Uncharacteristically, Len chose to say a few words after the elimination was called, telling Aaron how proud he was of him. He finished it out in style, he did.

But next week, the screws turn tighter...as, in the semi-final round, the couples have to do THREE performances...and one more HAS to get booted out before the finals. The Cheesy Disco Ball Trophy draws nearer...

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Icon 1 posted November 17, 2009 15:55            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sorry this one's a bit late, hectic night last night.

This week, as I said, we've got three rounds of dances for our four remaining couples, the third of which is a "knockout" dance in which the stars choose the dance style and music to help them gain all possible advantage. Big competition tonight for one of the three slots in next week's finals!

ROUND 1

I didn't get to see Donny's opening tango, but Sabrina said it was just "not there." It didn't score well.

Joanna got some help from Brooke Burke in preparing her Viennese waltz. She did some nice moves up on the raised stage, and it was graceful, as you'd expect it to be. Maybe a bit of a foot stutter, but I liked it.

Kelly had to deal with one of her dogs dying this week (awwww!), but that won't stop her from proving herself. Her rumba wasn't particularly sensual, but it was spiritual. She really is all grown up! After her splendid finishing move, both Sabrina and Carrie-Ann were in tears, and probably also Sharon (in the audience tonight).

Mya knows how to do a graceful waltz! Hers was just beautiful, though I thought Carrie-Ann was being a little harsh on her.

ROUND 2

Oh, did I mention that tonight's Latin dances have to include a 15-second solo by the celebrity?

Donny's samba was set to, believe it or not, "One Bad Apple." It's HIS OWN DAMN SONG! And HE KNOWS IT! He brought his old self back to life with this routine, which was a lot of fun. But carrie-Ann was still a little harsh on him; is she PMSing or something? [Smile]

Joanna started her cha-cha-cha with her solo, and she was a stunner in it! Her moves were crisp and sharp, and I can't deny her essential hawtness.

Kelly proved she was on her game in her quickstep, with really good sync with Louis and really good speed. Damn fine job!

Mya's salsa had impact. Some very slick moves, and it was definitely a hot one...prompting another PERFECT 30!!! (Second of the season, Mya has the only ones so far.)

ROUND 3 - The Knockout Round

These are fast dances, so the descriptions won't be long...

Donny picked a jitterbug, and came into it VERY hyper, playing to the crowd, as usual.

Joanna did a salsa with fast moves and tricky holds, but she may have been a bit shaky in some of the poses.

Kelly worked it in her cha-cha-cha, which was short and sweet.

Mya's own cha-cha-cha was up to the standards she'd set in her previous dances...but nce again, Carrie-Ann was the party pooper.

And tonight...one of them must go. Crapola. This is going to REALLY hurt no matter who gets booted.

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Icon 1 posted November 17, 2009 20:33            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In the results show tonight, the encore, naturally, is Mya's "Perfect Thirty" salsa...I swear, sometimes I think she could easily be the pro!

In the recap we find out two important things:
(1) Donny's performance was hampered when a strip of material came loose from Kym's gown and tangled in their feet. Wardrobe malfunctions strike again!
(2) Kelly improvised her solo in the rumba, because she completely forgot what she rehearsed! If she can do that well on an impromptu basis...

Donny was the low scorer this week, Mya high scorer. Time to PAD THE SHOW with a couple of star segments!

The dancers from the upcoming movie "Nine" do one of their routines. Hmm...cross-promotion? The movie is from the Weinstein Company...is that affiliated with Disney somehow? Then Alicia Keys performed her upcoming single, "Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart."

To pad the show, the stars do a sequence where they lipsync "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie. Of course, three out of the four are qualified to sing it! (Joanna is the only exception here.)

Mya is definitely in the finals! Joanna will find out later.

Leona Lewis performs her hit "Happy." She has a hell of a range. And Donny is in the finals! (He is now guaranteed to do at least as well as his sister did; when Marie competed, she finished in 3rd place.) Kelly will find out her fate later...

Two of the Bee Gees performed "You Should Be Dancing," complete with a dance number by Our Pros...and Season 8 "last-minute substitute" star Melissa Rycroft! The music had EVERYONE on their feet, even our judges!

Another filler segment, but this one is on how the pros put together their result-show routines. It ain't easy, that's for sure!

The last elimination is down to Joanna vs. Kelly...and Joanna is eliminated! Which means Kelly is also in the finals! And her parents are in the audience, in tears! (Yes, I do mean The Prince of F**kin' Darkness, too!)

And here, DWTS breaks with tradition...and Joanna and Derek get to perform an encore of their Viennese waltz, as their swan song. Beautiful...as I said, no matter who was eliminated, it would hurt.

And now we have Mya of the Two Perfect Thirties, Donny the Crowd-Pleasing Showman, and Kelly the Wild Shooting Star, all in the finals next week. Two of them are favorites of mine and Sabrina's. But, when it comes to the Cheesy Disco Ball Trophy...THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

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Icon 1 posted November 22, 2009 23:27            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*** GEEK ALERT *** GEEK ALERT *** GEEK ALERT ***

From the news desk, we bring you the following Dancing With The Stars Geek Alert:

On Tuesday's season finale, Steve "The Woz" Wozniak, Season 8 competitor, will participate in a mambo competition with Cloris Leachman and Jerry Springer! So, if you wanna see Woz dance again, make sure you tune in Tuesday night, November 24!

This has been a Dancing With The Stars Geek Alert. We now return you to your regular programming.

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Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
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Icon 1 posted November 23, 2009 08:33      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Eeeek! now I have to watch! [Geek]
Posts: 8111 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
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Icon 1 posted November 23, 2009 20:04            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It is the finals! Three couples enter and perform three dances tonight...but only one can take home the fabled Cheesy Disco Ball Trophy! So let's get to the action!

ROUND 1

Kelly, practicing for a Argentine tango, got some help from Carrie-Ann, who noted that "intimate" dances have often been a problem for her in this competition. Not tonight! She is not the same woman that started this competition! She is fearless, she is sharp, and she delivered a SMOKING routine!

Mya did a paso doble for this round...and Len was there in the studio, exhorting her to get BIG and AGGRESSIVE! The music ("We Will Rock You") helped, as the turned in a VERY big, VERY sharp performance...netting her a PERFECT 30!!! (Third of the season; third for Mya.)

Cha-cha-cha is Donny's dance, and Bruno is in there getting his technique in shape! (Bruno was impressed...he basically yelled at Donny for an hour, and the man just took it in and worked harder, like a true professional.) Donny proved he can shake those hips...and, of course, he can work a room like nobody else!

ROUND 2 - THE MEGAMIX

This is a new thing...all three couples are to do the same routines, and same choreography, in unison; three dances in quick succession: the Viennese waltz, the samba, and the jive! Our three stars showed that this is one of the best final groups ever, though Mya did have timing issues in the Viennese waltz and jive, and Kelly had an unfortunate "wardrobe malfunction" that kept Louis from getting her long skirt off at the start of the samba. The judges ranked them as follows: Kelly 3rd (26 pts.), Donny 2nd (28), Mya 1st (30).

ROUND 3 - FREESTYLE

Kelly led off with a fancy routine to "I Will Survive," which she intended to represent her experiences throughout the competition. Despite tearing cartilage in her big toes, she is not afraid! After a fancy costume opener, she showed some amazing moves...there was a bit where she seemed to "fall" right at the break in the music, and I honestly couldn't tell if that was supposed to be part of the routine or not! She did it well, and had fun.

Mya claimed she was "looking to make history"...but her routine, while perfectly executed, made it look like she was playing it safe! It left Sabrina underwhelmed, and, quite frankly, the judges, too! (But then, why'd she get trip 9's, while Kelly only got trip 8's?)

Donny is getting the best training in "not being fazed"...from Marie! [Big Grin] Meanwhile, Kym is teaching him some fancy lifts for the routine, which drew from Broadway, Hollywood, and Las Vegas to bring in a crowd-pleasing routine! Donny is a showman to the end...and this showstopper of a performance resulted in a PERFECT 30!!! (Fourth of the competition, and first for Donny!)

After tonight, it LOOKS like Donny has the inside track to victory. BUT...there's one more dance tomorrow night, and the viewer vote to consider. Will he grasp the trophy that Marie could not? Or will Mya or Kelly be victorious! The suspense is KILLING me...

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Icon 1 posted November 24, 2009 22:04            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
They stand as giants among men and women: Kelly Monaco. Drew Lachey. Emmitt Smith. Apolo Anton Ohno. Helio Castroneves. Kristi Yamaguchi. Brooke Burke. Shawn Johnson. The few, the proud, the DWTS winners, who have hoisted the Cheesy Disco Ball Trophy in triumph. One of our three finalists is about to join them. Will it be Mya? Will it be Kelly Osbourne? Will it be Donny Osmond? Tonight...all will be revealed. But there's gonna be some fun times first!

All 16 of our celebrity couples are back for this show, which started with a recap...woops! What happened? Someone must have screwed up the tape, so they go to commercial and then play the recap of last night. Kelly's fall in her freestyle turned out to be unintentional, but she was completely unfazed and kept smiling. Meanwhile, Mya's "safe" freestyle left the door open...and Donny barreled right through it!

Our musical guest tonight is none other than Whitney Houston, who is actually looking a lot more like Tina Turner these days! Her new single, "Million Dollar Bill," raised the roof in the ballroom...and Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul herself, was in the audience!

The DWTS Losers' Club has a new inductee...Ashley Hamilton, KO'd in the first week. Jeffrey Ross performs the induction, whereupon he dances again...and he still sucks! Jeff cut in partway through the dance, and hilarity ensued.

After the recap of Weeks 1-3, Kathy, Macy, and Debi did a dance routine with their pro partners. Turns out Macy has improved!

We got a segment on how, in addition to injuries, "THE FLU" has plagued our competition this year!

Congressman Tom DeLay, his feet apparently recovered, finally gets a chance to perform his Texas Two-Step with Cheryl, and he's pretty darn good! Who says Republicans can't dance? [Big Grin] Then, after we look through the Weeks 4-5 recap, Mark and Chuck come out onto the dance floor for a dance routine with their partners...that turns into a kung fu dance floor battle!

We get a segment of Adam Carolla berating the finalists, mostly Donny, that I could've done without, then Natalie came to reprise her routine to "In The Air Tonight." It was a classic performance, reminding you why her elimination was so shocking.

After we recap Weeks 6 and 7, Melissa did the salsa she never got to do in the dance-off, which was a reminder of how much we missed when she left. Then, after the three judges give a taped evaluation of the three finalists, we get to:

THE FINAL ROUND

In this round the stars recap a dance from their previous routines, and the judges will do a simple ranking of the couples.

First up: Kelly, who brings us another performance of the Viennese waltz that brought the Prince of F***ing Darkness to tears in Week 1. And it's even better than it was then, smoother, more defined, and she was more at ease. At the end, the crowd's chants of "KEL-LY! KEL-LY!" even drowned out Len, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house! Kelly has found something within herself that has transformed her...as I said, her "Gertrude Lang moment." And remember...in the movie Mr. Holland's Opus, Gertrude Lang went on to become the state governor. Who knows where Kelly could go from here?

Mya reprised her jive, and it was in the groove as usual, no question about it. And, undeniably, Mya has the most raw talent for dancing of this final set. She had trouble meeting Len's expectations at first, but when she did...bang! zoom! Right to the moon!

Donny chose his "Donnie Darko" Argentine tango for the last competition dance of the season...and need I say that he executed it with precision, with flair, with character, and with all the showmanship we love him for? Donny was more restrained in his thanks of the judges for their comments this time, but the crowd made up for it, chanting "DON-NY! DON-NY!" as he left the floor. With that kind of dancing talent, and four decades' worth of fans out there, he's a powerhouse.

And the judges' rankings: Kelly 3rd (26 points), Mya 2nd (28), Donny 1st (30)!

Now we're back to the other stars' dances, with Louie out there dancing to "Puppy Love," as sung by...guest vocalist Donny Osmond! (Who, of course, made the song famous in the 70's). A man of many talents is Donny! And Louie is no slouch either, shifting gears from smooth ballroom steps to gymnastic acrobatics!

And now, it's time for the Ultimate Ballroom Grudge Match...Michael Irvin vs. Jerry Rice, one on one in the paso doble! (It's also the Pro Battle of the Annas...Demidova vs. Trebunskaya, respectively.) The paso was set to--wait for it--the famous NFL theme music! And the couples came out dressed in team colors...Dallas for Michael and Anna D, San Francisco for Jerry and Anna Tre-BUN! And they competed for--yeah, wait for it--the Cheesy Disco Ball Ring! The judges awarded Michael the victory in the competition...but awarded Jerry the victory in the "Battle of the Bodies," so they BOTH got Cheesy Disco Ball Rings!

Aaron came in to reprise his "Muppet Show" quickstep...complete with Animal on the drums again! Only this time, Statler and Waldorf were in the balcony to comment! And, just to underscore the whole "Disney 0WNZ0RZ The Muppets" thing, Miss Piggy got to interview the four contestants in the mambo showdown. (Earlier we saw her getting a backrub from Maks, then a bit with her karate-chopping Samantha. Haven't we all wanted to do that from time to time?) The four participants are Cloris Leachman, Jerry Springer, our very own Steve "THE WOZ" Wozniak, and Joanna Krupa. Woz actually was most successful in his interview with Piggy, flattering her nicely. You old geek smoothie, you! [Geek]

We got a recap of Weeks 8 and 9, then came the actual mambo competition, which was very much played for laughs. Cloris actually stood stock-still until Corky, her partner, got her to "snap out of it" at the start! Woz brought the infamous pink feather boa back, and laid down his trademark ballroom dance move. Yes. That's right. He did "THE WORM." [Big Grin] Cloris was "knocked out" first, followed by Jerry, then Woz, leaving Joanna and Derek to do a reprise of their "bench-press" move from the competition group mambo, except this time, Joanna was pressing Derek!

To wrap up the entertainment for the evening, Whitney Houston came out to sing the galactic hit "I Wanna Dance With Somebody," and Our Pros put on one of their top-notch dance numbers to it. The crowd was on their feet clapping to the music! It was a great way to finish.

And now...the moment we've all been waiting for...

In third place...Kelly and Louis! Kelly, of course, had nothing but good to say to the other competitors, the judges, and all of America for keeping her on the show right up to the end. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of, Kelly. NOTHING.

And the ninth champion couple of Dancing With The Stars is...

is...

...

DONNY AND KYM!!!!!!

He has done it! The child singer of the 70's, the variety entertainer, the rock'n'roller, the Vegas showman, Mr. "Krayzie Bone" from "White & Nerdy" himself, has faced down the field, many of them half his age, and made it ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP!!! (And beaten his sister Marie in the process, who finished third when she was on the show!)

Mya, of course, was quite thankful for the experience as well, and for Dmitry's tutelage in getting her through the competition. Meanwhile, Donny, Kym, Donny's wife, his kids, and Marie (pulled out of the audience by Donny right at the end), hold aloft the Stanley Cup of the ballroom, The Cheesy Disco Ball Trophy!!!

Well, that was a wild ride. And what a great thing to see both of our favorites make it to the finals, and one of them win it all! Dancing With The Stars will return in March 2010. As for me? Well...ya never know...

'Till next time...don't you go changin'!

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Icon 1 posted November 24, 2009 22:20            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
And, in honor of Donny's glorious victory...

White & Nerdy - Take #1

Donny practices his best Krayzie Bone moves with "Weird Al" Yankovic in front of a green screen. (Al was looking for the whitest guy he could find to appear alongside him in this video. Yeah, that's Donny for you.) Watch for him finger-spelling "ROTFLOL" when the song gets to that point.

The making of a future champion? [Big Grin]

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