homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums   » Love!   » Girls, Girls, Girls!   » Tips for snagging a girl (Page 2)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!  
This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3 
 
Author Topic: Tips for snagging a girl
Reedius
Mini Geek
Member # 7130

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 08:55      Profile for Reedius     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by SpazGirl:
FWIW, in my men I like a sense of humor, if you can make me laugh, you'll have my attention.

What can we guys do to make wemen laugh? [Confused]

--------------------
Geek or Nerd?

Posts: 55 | From: aveiro, portugual | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
Demosthenes
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 530

Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 09:02      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Reedius:
What can we guys do to make wemen laugh?

Cultivate charm. Be charismatic. Or just get 'em stoned and tell knock-knock jokes.


(Learning how to spell "women" might help, too. [Razz] )

Posts: 1349 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 09:20            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's not hard to do, as long as they share your sense of humour :) A few girls share mine and find me very funny, but most people do not. But what I wish there were more of -- or any of, at all -- were women who would reciprocate and make me laugh too. Generally they don't even try, or cannot, but Jenni is hilarious on rare occasions.
IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 09:30      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You can get some of the women to laugh all of the time and you can get all of the women to laugh some of the time, but you can't get all of the women to laugh all of the time

...unless you drop your pants in cold weather.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
ScholasticSpastic
Highlie
Member # 6919

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 09:42      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Reedius, the key to entertaining women is confidence. You can even be cocky if you wish to, but with cockiness it's important that you are also the brunt of your own jokes. (It will diffuse your cockiness somewhat if you are self-deprecating.) There are two classes of joke: The I'm glad it's not me joke and the bait and switch. The I'm glad it's not me style of humor works on the principle of reverse empathy and involves some element of cruelty- these are the jokes most common in grade-school and comedy clubs. Slap-stick is a more refined type of glad it's not me joke.

The bait and switch joke is best if it's a one- or two-liner. It actually works on a principle of simple brain function in which organs of your inner brain (amygdala- princess amygdala fell in love with a young sith lord.)respond to stimuli. When your brain expects one thing to follow from a stimulus and experiences an unexpected result, there is a sudden increase in CNS arrousal and a feeling of mild, transient euphoria. We laugh. It's funny. A man walked into a bar, he said "ouch!" is an example of a bait and switch joke that's so old that it no longer works.

None of your jokes will work if you don't have confidence, though. The best way to build confidence is through engaging strangers in conversation (the stranger the better). Doing this will help you understand the real consequences of screwing up a social exchange without actually screwing up a social exchange with a girl that you like. Most strangers are lonely and will be greatful that you are taking the time to talk to them. Make eye contact. If you're not a freak like me, you'll be able to make casual physical contact at key moments. Stand straight and try to get as close as you can without breaking their "bubble."

You might try urinal conversation. It's one of my favorites and best engaged in at social venues with a relaxed atmosphere. Do not look down! Say something with absolutely no real relevance to anything, but say it in a way that lets them know you expect an answer. Most people are nervous talking to strangers with their tackle out and this will put you in a dominant social situation. Be friendly without being suggestive. Do not engage in casual physical contact!

Ultimately, the key to confidence is the realization that people are sufficiently entertained by novelty that they will not always criticize you for being novel. You need to understand that, for most situations, the worst that can happen is that they'll look at you funny and walk away. People remember positive things better than they remember negatives and eventually the thing that made them walk away will be funny. They'll come back. You can then practice your one-liners.

There is a hazard involved in confidence exercises- the results are irreversible. I used to be a quiet, smart, polite young man. Now I'm an oppinionated, pedantic ass. Look before you leap. Anyone can be confident, but is it really something you want? The girls who are drawn to quiet, smart, polite young men are a lot less likely to get you in trouble.

--------------------
"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

Posts: 540 | From: Vernal, UT | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Reedius
Mini Geek
Member # 7130

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 09:44      Profile for Reedius     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My english teacher told me that women in plural is wemen... [Confused]

Something even more difficult than making females laugh is to get to know them, there are a few interesting girls in my school but i don't have a clue on how to get introduced without looking stupid.

One example of someone who is over-confident is my cousin, he has a lot of girls but he doesn't love them and neither do they and i don't think i want that.

--------------------
Geek or Nerd?

Posts: 55 | From: aveiro, portugual | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
ScholasticSpastic
Highlie
Member # 6919

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 09:47      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Then look stupid an an original way. They won't come running up to you, but they'll remember you. That's a foundation for a future, less comical re-introduction.

--------------------
"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

Posts: 540 | From: Vernal, UT | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged
Serenak

Member # 2950

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 11:23      Profile for Serenak     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Reedius

The English plural of womAn is womEn (but it is usually pronounced more like "wimmen") which may be your point of confusion as the singular is usually pronounced with a fairly clear "om" sound and the plural is not. (Hope that helps)

--------------------
"So if you want my address - it's No. 1 at the end of the bar, where I sit with the broken angels, clutching at straws and nursing my scars..."

Posts: 1937 | From: Suffolk England | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Reedius
Mini Geek
Member # 7130

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted February 13, 2007 14:14      Profile for Reedius     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks for the help i guess i was mistaken. [Wink]

--------------------
Geek or Nerd?

Posts: 55 | From: aveiro, portugual | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
Tux4t2
Single Celled Newbie
Member # 7201

Rate Member
Icon 6 posted February 14, 2007 19:32      Profile for Tux4t2     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
so i don't see why a girl is so important. honestly i have the worst time staying out of relationships. but i will say that my last guy caught my attention because he taught me how to swing dance. i think it's great that a guy has the confidence to even try to dance, if anything it makes him more adorable if he's not the greatest at it, but still having fun.
Posts: 1 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted February 14, 2007 20:01            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Why is a girl important?

I guess it depends on your susceptability to advertising. I see all these adverts on TV and in magazines and shrug them off -- I'm not interested and I don't care. Advertising has no sway on me.

But, every time you see a couple in love, on TV, in a film, on a forum, on the train, it reminds you once again what you're missing out on in life. It's a particularly pervasive type of advertising. Break away from this, and your desperate cravings go down a lot, because you gradually forget what you're missing. At least, the physical side, the tactile side, the closeness and cosiness. I'm not a romantic, so I get put right off and put to shame by the romance in this advertising, as I feel both repulsed, and that I'm not worthy.

That said, the male sex drive is strong, so you have to factor that in.

What is not advertised, and not clear, is the mental side. What is it all about anyway? Is it true that, for a bloke, other men are for hobbies and games, and women are for coffee, chocolates, cuddles and sex?

Smart women exist, smart men have relationships, some smart men will be dating smart women, but I've seen little evidence to suggest that it ever goes beyond basic romance 101.

If I'm not romantic, there's nothing left for a woman in my life. If women are only for romance, then is a girl important? Clearly we'd be mutually worthless to each other and the answer would be "no".

If I could find a girl who's as nerdy and technical as I am, it could be the best time of my life, but there's little evidence to suggest that this is likely. So far, I've met only one such person, and I'm out of her depth.

If I could escape all the blatant advertising, then the answer would be "no", because there's just nothing for me there. But as long as the pervasive advertising persists, the importance is in plugging that gaping hole in your life that it reminds you is there. The need for cosiness, touch, closeness, the sensitive female mind, and of course sex.

IP: Logged
Metasquares
Highlie
Member # 4441

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted February 14, 2007 20:18      Profile for Metasquares   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's kind of ironic that there are enough smart people on the planet that every scientific insight one can come up with has probably been thought of already, and yet two smart people of the opposite sex still have trouble finding each other and initiating a relationship.

I guess the primary problem is locality...

Posts: 664 | From: Morganville, NJ | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted February 14, 2007 20:52            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, that goes right back to the question of how you meet up. In person? Online? We've been around this loop countless times and never found an answer, partially because it has to be different for everyone. You need to bear all my questions in my previous post in mind as well when considering what people want.

Is being "smart" alone, enough?

If you need to have things in common with the girl, where would you find such a person? In many cases, it should be easy. If you're looking for technical ability (for real; I don't mean girls who can talk about it but can't do it for real, which is most of them) then you won't find any anywhere. dragonman found me one, in Canada (now Texas) -- she's the one who's far too smart for me.

But I'd never even be able to find friends. I'm not a Linux user and don't plan to be. Nor do I care for Mac OS X enough to join a Mac user group, and I don't use 9 for "Mac-like" things really, and I'm above Mac OS 9 users. I am not a PC gamer, so that's out ... There aren't enough people like me on this planet to form an online club, let alone I can travel to on a bus.

You won't find a simple answer to this one.

IP: Logged
Reedius
Mini Geek
Member # 7130

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 06:25      Profile for Reedius     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
But, every time you see a couple in love, on TV, in a film, on a forum, on the train, it reminds you once again what you're missing out on in life.

You're right, personally it kills me everytime I remember I'm alone. [cry baby]

And yes, the biggest problem is location, in my area the percentage of smart girls is around 2% but worse than that is when you think you found a nice girl, you don't know how to get to know her. [Confused]

--------------------
Geek or Nerd?

Posts: 55 | From: aveiro, portugual | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 09:11      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Listen closely, because I'm about to tell you all what is apparently a huge secret (although it should be blindingly obvious) about finding someone to fawn over...

Make yourself visible.

That's it. That's all there is to it. Most people, however, have no clue how to go about doing this.

Figure out just what things you need to show about yourself in order to attract the right partner. Take some time to think it through... ask yourself what can you do with your appearance and your behavior that will demonstrate who you are.

Once you've figured out how to express yourself, you'll stand out enough so that people notice those things about you. You'll also discover that you don't really have to hunt anymore. Those with similar interests and tastes will often approach you (although it may be a subtle approach and you may have to work on noticing such things). You have become (believe it or not)... attractive!

From there, you just have to pick the ones you like and ask them out. It's still a bit of trial and error, but you're sorting through a pre-filtered group which will be much more compatible to start with.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 2814

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 09:24      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Confidence, charisma, and charm.

You can be ugly as fuck, if you have those three things, you won't have an issue finding a woman.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Reedius
Mini Geek
Member # 7130

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 13:21      Profile for Reedius     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks for the tips [Wink]
Unfortunatly i can't unveil my true self in school because all my classmates are the complete opposite of me, it would be desastrous for them to know me for real.

--------------------
Geek or Nerd?

Posts: 55 | From: aveiro, portugual | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 13:48      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
...and there are probably plenty of others like you, hiding behind a fake exterior where you'll never find them. Make yourself known for who you are and the right ones will seek you out simply because they don't think there are any others either.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Reedius
Mini Geek
Member # 7130

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 14:02      Profile for Reedius     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well maybe next year, all the neandertals are going to fail the year or at least i hope so. [evil]

--------------------
Geek or Nerd?

Posts: 55 | From: aveiro, portugual | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 18:40            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Steen ... oddly enough, in my own strange way I've tried that, but the only successes were loopy teenage girls around 14-15 or so.

I think your suggestion though is a little airy-fairy, because I imagine the odds of it working are really low. Ask yourself what you think your ideal women would look like. Now think about the best that Geek Culture has to offer, or all the other cool women you know, and re-examine how they look. I don't know about you, but I cannot think of one who looks like my assumptions of an ideal girl. If there were a crowd of them, none of them would stand out particularly -- it's their minds that stand out. As far as behaviour and dress go, I haven't even got a clue. Nothing to go by.

Note that this is not about looks -- there are plenty of good-looking geeks and nerds, and plenty of good-looking normal folk. Telling the two apart would be impossible, and this is the key. You'd have to chat up a lot of women to hope you find one who's not just smrt, but compatible. Don't forget that I've never met a single compatible girl or woman in my life. Attractive, yes, smart, yes, technical, just about (one so far if I'm realistic), but compatible? No.

Worse, I have no idea what this girl would expect me to look like. Or do. Or say. So not only do I have no idea what I need to do to attract this right girl, but if you consider my needs and how unusual I am, the perfect girl for me would have no idea what I'd look like or do either. Put the girl in my position above: she's going to have no easier time with this than I would.

Besides, you're contradicting the golden rule of being yourself. I could in theory achieve anything: new hairstyle, new outfit, get a nose job, get some eye-colour-changing contact lenses, but it would be pretentious and expensive and it would decrease my confidence because I'd be drawing attention to myself about falsehoods. I cannot feel confident about faking being "in" or "better" than who I really am; I don't have to belief to go with it. I have to be true to myself.

IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 19:50      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
uilleann wrote:
Besides, you're contradicting the golden rule of being yourself.

No... I'm really not. The whole point of my post was to show off who you really are rather than putting up an image that you think would be acceptable. That's why I wrote "what can you do with your appearance and your behavior that will demonstrate who you are" rather than "who you think people would like."

Most of your reply seems to be based on the idea that I'm suggesting that people act like someone they aren't and that's just not the case. Acting like someone you aren't will attract people who are interested in the fake personality rather than you. That will actually prevent you from meeting anyone compatible.

Don't forget that I've never met a single compatible girl or woman in my life. Attractive, yes, smart, yes, technical, just about (one so far if I'm realistic), but compatible? No.

No offense, but you have some issues regarding compromise and accepting flaws in others that cause a lot of your problems. None of that needs to be posted in the public part of the forum, however, so we'll move that part of the discussion to PMs if you really want to discuss it.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 21:13      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hmm...I'd kind of have to agree with Steen's post - that's novel. There weren't even any references to deep freezers or caverns. [Wink] [A little off there, but I'm not feeling creative enough right now. =P]

And along those lines, that very nearly worked for me...and just before I might have asked her out, she got a job in Florida and skedaddled. Feck.

Oh well, I'll just have fun hacking away on my MacBook...damn this thing rocks. Firefox launches in *one* bounce. I look forward to seeing how my Perl code runs on it, and my DB code as well... and it boots right into Knoppix! [Big Grin]

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9332 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 21:53            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Steen, I already do act and behave like me. How can I be more like me than I am already? That's my point: if I do anything different, I am consciously deviating from my normal self. This has to be planned, this has to be unfalteringly kept up, and if I ever stop, I've lost my attractive edge. I will stop being attractive.

It's no different to pretending to be anyone else: it's a layer of falsity above my true nature. And again, it assumes I know what about me would be more attractive when emphasised, if it's possible to do so. If it's possible to do so when alone.

Part of the issue is that you need exposure to potential lovers. The workplace may be acceptable depending on country and rules (think sexual harrassment). If for me my only exposure to people would be work and the route thereto and therefrom, there's little exposure. During the travel period (bus, train) I am alone -- no friends, no travelling companions, so what should I do? Put on a performance for the passengers?

You have to start by being in an interactive situation with the right kind of people, and once that happens, being plain old yourself should be perfectly adequate: the mind is what matters, and that should be clear from interaction anyway.

IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 22:10      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've come to think of the dating game as a giant genetics experiment. You are looking for a person who fits certain criteria. You have a huge pool of random people. So you apply a selection scheme. This isn't anything you have to do consciously - your selection scheme is all about who you are and what you do and the sort of people you interact with. You can change it if you want (moving to a new city, getting a different job, etc.). You can even change the stringency if you want (I'm pretty loose about appearances). Just remember that the root of your whole selection scheme is going to be you and who you are, and that goes back to what Steen said about being yourself.

One of the best ways to be yourself is to just stop looking for a relationship. Accept your singleness, revel in it, enjoy it, be happy. Then the pressure to engage in the mating rituals goes away and your general level of self-confidence and happiness rises.

As far as getting noticed goes, that depends on you. I make no effort to draw attention to myself. Either people will notice me or they won't. If they do notice me, points for them - that's part of my selection scheme. This system does work, at least for me...and I'm not exactly an easy match.

quote:
Is it true that, for a bloke, other men are for hobbies and games, and women are for coffee, chocolates, cuddles and sex?
Beats me...in the eyes of my boyfriend I'm good for all of the above (except he hasn't been able to coax me into a cave, nor have I managed to coax him onto a glacier). In the eyes of my male friends I'm good for hobbies, games, and coffee.

quote:
Ask yourself what you think your ideal women would look like. Now think about the best that Geek Culture has to offer, or all the other cool women you know, and re-examine how they look. I don't know about you, but I cannot think of one who looks like my assumptions of an ideal girl.
Then we are not the girls for you. Selection scheme again. Not our problem. But it's not just ideal appearance that makes a person stand out. Sometimes it's a less-than ideal appearance, or just a "wtf?!" appearance.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
ScholasticSpastic
Highlie
Member # 6919

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted February 15, 2007 22:13      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I met a girl who was ideal for me, long ago, by accident. I flopped down into her lap when we were strangers and gave her my phone number. She called me and we talked and she was perfect. If I had been ready for a mature relationship and if I'd pursued college back then instead of being a retail slacker we might have worked out. It turns out that I wasn't enough for my perfect girl. That is still the case. That's why I'm in college now, majoring in science. I want to be ready just in case I meet another perfect girl. Also, I'm sick of being a retail slacker and pretending to care about whether people are happy with the service they've received. My perfect me is a scientist, so I'm not doing violence to myself by changing my lifestyle to fit an illusory perfect mate.

It is possible to increase the odds of finding a girl who more closely matches your ideal by figuring out where such a girl would hang out and being present there. Libraries are a great place to meet geek girls and/or homeless people. Have a favorite literary style? Go to readings. Stuff like that.

I met a girl on a bus once. She was not ideal for me, but we're still great friends. I wrote her a poem with my phone number on it and handed it across the aisle to her. Such a tactic requires only two things: The ability to write a poem that isn't utter shit on the fly and the ability to hand said poem to a strange girl with a steady hand. Most women are sufficiently hung-up on story-book scenarios that you're almost guaranteed a call. They'll usually think something absurd about how romantic it might turn out. In my case, she was mesmerised by my big, shiny boots and rendered semi-hypnotised by the sparkles emitted by same. Big, shiny boots are a universal good. The Nazis were evil, but their boots were not.

--------------------
"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

Posts: 540 | From: Vernal, UT | Registered: Jan 2007  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time
This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3 
 
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2015 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam