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Author Topic: What is Love?
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted July 20, 2004 07:02      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
/me begins doing the head bobbing action seen in A night at the roxbury.
Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
fanboy_uk

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Icon 1 posted July 20, 2004 07:10      Profile for fanboy_uk   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Is that the same sort of headbobbing scene as may be found in 'Debbie Does Dallas"?

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A woman walked into a cocktail bar, took one look at the drinks menu and asked the barman for a Double Entendré.
So he gave her one


Posts: 161 | From: Brighton, UK (50.8389, -00.1876) | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted July 20, 2004 07:21      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
No. That would be moderately unsettling. Nor is it the same head bobbing as found in Debbie Does Dallas 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, OR 7!
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typographer
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Icon 1 posted July 22, 2004 23:24      Profile for typographer   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm a girl with pretty much the same problem.
Besides being younger than you and therefore possibly more naive than most people here.
2p anyway.

I have zits.
A lot of them.

There. I said it.

I think it's more a matter of finding the right person, the school environment is not the place when it's a cutthroat socio-political battlefield and everyone's just so.... materialistic. Immature. Puerile. Et cetera.

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Comic sans is the spawn of Satan.

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted July 23, 2004 06:22      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I did as a teenager. My dermatologist gave me these pills, 'tetracycline'. Wasn't a problem anymore. [Big Grin]
Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
CommanderShroom
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Icon 1 posted July 23, 2004 10:19      Profile for CommanderShroom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by typographer:

I have zits.
A lot of them.

There. I said it.

I think it's more a matter of finding the right person, the school environment is not the place when it's a cutthroat socio-political battlefield and everyone's just so.... materialistic. Immature. Puerile. Et cetera.

I had a lot of them too. The dermatologist tried everything in their bag o' tricks and nothing helped. I gave up after a while. But, they ended up curing themselves. Just do your best to take care of your skin to avoid too many marks.

As far as school goes. You are right about every bit of it. Don't worry it gets worse. [Big Grin]

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Does he know our big secret?
Has one of us confessed?
'Bout the wires circuits and motors
Buried in our chest

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 7 posted July 23, 2004 10:55      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Wow. After reading all of your posts, I'm really impressed. Practically all of the comments have been intelligent and thoughtful--rare qualities online nowadays.

As to the question, love is hard to define in post-college life, let alone in high school. My parents' marriage dissolved when I was 12; for a few years I detested the thought of marriage because of the potential for great hurt.
By the time I reached college I looked forward to
marriage. I went on a few dates but didn't have any good prospects. Meanwhile, my friends met--and later married--great people. I tried hard to outweigh my jealousy of them with my joy for them. I longed--and still long--for that most intimate of relationships.

I want to hold and be held. I want to meet my
husband's needs. I want to experience the ups and
downs of growing intimately acquainted with another person. I don't want to be the only source of happiness for a man (happiness is a choice, after all), but I do want to be his helpmeet and his partner. If that means listening to him tell me about his futile efforts to debug source code for his latest project when I'd prefer to talk about what's on my mind, then so be it. My time will come, and if it doesn't, then I will be content that my husband feels admired and able to trust me.

I try to quell my desires with "all in God's time" and "God is everything I need," but somehow that doesn't always seem to cut the mustard. It doesn't eliminate the ache inside of me to be the one exchanging private looks with her husband at family dinners; the one whose hand is held during scary movies; the one who has a reason to cook more than single-serving meals. Yes, I know marriage has its difficulties, but the benefits far outweight them.

I've equated love with marriage and being in high school you may not be ready for that. I sure wasn't! I never dated in high school and really didn't date much in college--not because I didn't have the opportunities--but no one really appealed to me...which is frustrating because now that I'm out in the "Real World," I want to date and develop an intimate relationship with an intelligent, interesting, humorous Christian man and they seem hard to find.

The best decision I ever made in high school was to focus on my studies and my extracurriculars (Quiz Bowl, newspaper, FFA, band/orchestra). The best decision in college was to find a small group of Christians who accepted me with all of my glaring flaws (now that's love!) and concentrate on developing relationships with them (and get decent but not spectacular grades in the process). I graduated from college with a good GPA and a few best friends.

All that to say, don't push yourself. If you feel like you need to change, focus on one small thing at a time. Keep in mind that for many people, it's better to have one best friend than 10 acquaintances. And hey, if that best friend turns out to be of the opposite gender, that friendship may grow into something more.

Confused? Ask for clarification. [Smile]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted July 23, 2004 11:12      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Look everybody - she doth use good grammar and cogent argument... she maketh whole sentences with correct shift key usage... persecute the unbeliever!! [Wink]

Hello, and Welcome. [Smile]

Posts: 6530 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted July 23, 2004 12:21      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Look everybody - she doth use good grammar and cogent argument... she maketh whole sentences with correct shift key usage... persecute the unbeliever!! [Wink]

Hello, and Welcome. [Smile]

After reading some of your posts and shrinking from your avatar every time I see it, I never thought you'd be the first to make me laugh. (Hmm... that blows my entire argument of not pre-judging based on appearances... or maybe it makes it!) Way to go, Spungo!! [Big Grin]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted July 23, 2004 15:56      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Look everybody - she doth use good grammar and cogent argument... she maketh whole sentences with correct shift key usage... persecute the unbeliever!! [Wink]

Hello, and Welcome. [Smile]

This is Illogical. She cannot be so good. I am somehow Persuaded to Follow Your Assessment of her seemingly fine qualities.

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted July 23, 2004 16:16      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
After reading some of your posts and shrinking from your avatar every time I see it, I never thought you'd be the first to make me laugh. (Hmm... that blows my entire argument of not pre-judging based on appearances... or maybe it makes it!) Way to go, Spungo!! [Big Grin]

Spungo getting a compliment [Eek!]

/me trying to hide sheep in back corner of GC

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
csk

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Icon 1 posted July 24, 2004 07:28      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Look everybody - she doth use good grammar and cogent argument... she maketh whole sentences with correct shift key usage... persecute the unbeliever!! [Wink]

Hello, and Welcome. [Smile]

This is Illogical. She cannot be so good. I am somehow Persuaded to Follow Your Assessment of her seemingly fine qualities.
Hot damn, dman, that cracked me up big time! I literally laughed out loud with that one [Big Grin]

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6 weeks to go!

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csk

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Icon 1 posted July 24, 2004 07:45      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
Wow. After reading all of your posts, I'm really impressed. Practically all of the comments have been intelligent and thoughtful--rare qualities online nowadays.

As to the question, love is hard to define in post-college life, let alone in high school. My parents' marriage dissolved when I was 12; for a few years I detested the thought of marriage because of the potential for great hurt.
By the time I reached college I looked forward to
marriage. I went on a few dates but didn't have any good prospects. Meanwhile, my friends met--and later married--great people. I tried hard to outweigh my jealousy of them with my joy for them. I longed--and still long--for that most intimate of relationships.

Yeah, I know that feeling only too well. There's a bit of grass is greener aspect, but the intimacy of a marital relationship is a wonderful thing.

quote:

I want to hold and be held. I want to meet my
husband's needs. I want to experience the ups and
downs of growing intimately acquainted with another person. I don't want to be the only source of happiness for a man (happiness is a choice, after all), but I do want to be his helpmeet and his partner. If that means listening to him tell me about his futile efforts to debug source code for his latest project when I'd prefer to talk about what's on my mind, then so be it. My time will come, and if it doesn't, then I will be content that my husband feels admired and able to trust me.

Wow. You are already far more equipped for marriage than most single Christians I know. Are you sure you haven't secretly been married before [Wink]

quote:

I try to quell my desires with "all in God's time" and "God is everything I need," but somehow that doesn't always seem to cut the mustard. It doesn't eliminate the ache inside of me to be the one exchanging private looks with her husband at family dinners; the one whose hand is held during scary movies; the one who has a reason to cook more than single-serving meals. Yes, I know marriage has its difficulties, but the benefits far outweight them.

Hmm, you're thinking about similar issues to what I am, but from the opposite direction. To put it another way, I'm a married Christian on the way into singleness (long story). I think there is a place for God in our lives, and a place for friends, and a place for a partner. The trick is to not let one take the place of the other(s). It's all too easy to let the spouse become all important, which is a serious mistake IMHO.

quote:

I've equated love with marriage and being in high school you may not be ready for that. I sure wasn't! I never dated in high school and really didn't date much in college--not because I didn't have the opportunities--but no one really appealed to me...which is frustrating because now that I'm out in the "Real World," I want to date and develop an intimate relationship with an intelligent, interesting, humorous Christian man and they seem hard to find.

Sorry, I'm too far away. And married [Wink]

Seriously, you're right, it's hard. From what I've seen, females are usually more drawn to churches than males, so it's a bit of a fight to get the good ones early. Mind you, I know a few single and looking Christian guys, but you're probably too far away, and they don't match some of your characteristics. Only looking for a Christian partner (a good move if you're a Christian, IMHO) makes it a lot harder to find someone, too.

quote:

The best decision I ever made in high school was to focus on my studies and my extracurriculars (Quiz Bowl, newspaper, FFA, band/orchestra). The best decision in college was to find a small group of Christians who accepted me with all of my glaring flaws (now that's love!) and concentrate on developing relationships with them (and get decent but not spectacular grades in the process). I graduated from college with a good GPA and a few best friends.

Yep, pursue your passions, and if anything else follows, then that's a blessing. Wise lady [thumbsup]

quote:

All that to say, don't push yourself. If you feel like you need to change, focus on one small thing at a time. Keep in mind that for many people, it's better to have one best friend than 10 acquaintances. And hey, if that best friend turns out to be of the opposite gender, that friendship may grow into something more.

Right on the mark once again, the best relationships come out of friendships. Another tip, make sure you have some close friends of the same sex, as inevitably you'll need to talk to them about something you can't talk to an opposite sex person about (even if that's a girlfriend/wife)

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Rhonwyyn

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Icon 7 posted July 25, 2004 16:40      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks for the encouragement, CSK. I was away with my Sunday School class this weekend and my van of girls talked about this very subject. Only one of us is dating anyone (same man for two years), but she doesn't know that she wants to get married. I should have asked her why she's been dating him for so long (he's definitely marriage-minded and knows that she isn't) if she isn't seriously considering marriage. I offered to switch places with her. [Razz]

You're right, though: girls need girl friends and guys need guy friends. Someone once put it that when you break up with your SO, you need same sex friendships to help you pick up the pieces and/or continue to provide a life for you. Really, you should maintain same-sex friendship continuity. [Smile]

I endeavor to develop strong friendships with girls, but sometimes it's just so much easier to be friends with men. (Is this the inner-geek rearing it's head?) Girls talk about boys and clothes and who-knows-who whereas men tend to relay information. I thrive on knowledge-challenging interactions and find that most girls tend to back off from factual discussions. Too often I find myself hanging out with guys, then calling my girl friends for emotional support related to my interactions with the guys.

It's easy to strike up friendships with guys, but somehow it's harder with girls. In all of my communication studies in university, we never discussed why that happens. It's not like I'm a guy-magnet and thus competition for girls who want to attract men's attention.

Thank God for my fellowship group at my university church where the guys interacted with guys and girls with girls, forcing me to concentrate on my girl-girl friendships. I graduated with three good girl friends whom I dearly miss. Yay for e-mail and cell phones. [Smile]

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted July 26, 2004 03:19      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
shrinking from your avatar every time I see it...

Why does everyone say that? I don't understand it - and if you only knew how long it took me to wash out the mud and sacrificial entrails...

--------------------
Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

Posts: 6530 | From: Noba Scoba | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
csk

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Icon 1 posted July 26, 2004 04:40      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
shrinking from your avatar every time I see it...

Why does everyone say that? I don't understand it - and if you only knew how long it took me to wash out the mud and sacrificial entrails...
Yeah, I bet you get a fair bit of "What's a nice guy like you doing with a face like this" [Wink]

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

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ooby
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Icon 1 posted July 26, 2004 12:07      Profile for ooby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't know about you guys, but I pretty much never talk to my male friends about relationship stuff. I dump it all on my female friends (and half the time, they are eager to know).

--------------------
"haven't you ever wondered if there's more to life than being really, really, rediculously good looking?"

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Stibbons
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Icon 1 posted July 26, 2004 13:07      Profile for Stibbons   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by ooby:
I don't know about you guys, but I pretty much never talk to my male friends about relationship stuff. I dump it all on my female friends

There's one guy who I always talk to about relationship stuff, but he's the only one of my male friends who I do it to. But then I only chat about relationships with two of my female friends too, so it's probably just that I keep my feelings pretty close to my chest. Not that people don't try and get me to talk about them [shake head]
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fool6000000001
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Icon 3 posted August 13, 2004 07:23      Profile for fool6000000001     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey, I'm back. Dialup really sucks so this reply is brought to you through the use of notepad.
Desteny, I agree, people suck. My opinion is even if the cliche that your soul mate is out there somewhere is true, they will inevitably be in another country with the wrong person, and would hate me if they met me.

quote:

Ahh, I love dict - two can play at that game [Wink]

geek n (pl geeks) a technologically minded person; an intentional non-conformist; a small spherical duck by the name of Fred (see insanity); (offens) a nerd. * vt (geeking, geeked) (inf) to fool around in a geeky manner; to converse in pure computer jargon (esp role-playing). * interj (sl) (with on) well done; long live the geek.--geeky adj.--geekily adv.--also techie.

nerd n (pl nerds) (vulg) a boring socially inept person; a wannabe geek; a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. * vt (inf) to babble incoherently.--nerdy adj.--nerdily adv.--also convention.

techie n (pl techies) usu. a sound or lighting technician; a geek.

I love that quote from Terry Pratchet, it really cracked me up.

Hi cbouncey, I agree with pretty much everything you said. But as I've probably said before here, anyone who did like me in that way I would immediately dislike for precisely that reason. Of course, being human (which I struggle with to this day), that would probably go out the window if there was even a chance that I might get a girlfriend. I hope not. I don't think all girls like "the gorgeous type", but I don't think enough of them want the opposite extreme. Sure, there are loads of people every day who get together, but approximately 68.94% of them break up in the next 3 weeks, and a further 15.26% break up before they get married.

I was thinking recently about why people are so against arranged marriages, after all, otherwise some of them wouldn't be married at all, and most of them develop at least a healthy respect for their partner anyway.

quote:

Love ain't marriage.
Love ain't sex.
Love isn't mood rings.

Love is utterly impractical. Cherish it.

Where have I heard that before? Or is it original? Seems to ring true, though.

So frostgard, drunkennewfiemidget, I think men and women vary in very small ways. All humans have little understanding of the world around them, of why they are here. Any consolation - something to cling onto for dear life - will help them to find a purpose. After all, if we rule out the spiritual for a moment, we find our one and only purpose is to propogate the species. Therefore we go about our task with (ehem) great vigour. Whether love is a gift from God or not is your decision to make. And drunkennewfiemidget, what on earth is that song?

typographer, I have had quite a few spots, and I'm not over them yet, I just hope I'm past the worst of them. I've used minocycline, tetracycline, and lymecycline, plus some cream, but none if it worked that well because I have a small problem fitting washing my face and hair into my busy schedule of moaning about life and failing to write programs, books, and songs. But hey, how can you help yourself, right? It isn't my fault. They will on the whole settle down after you have suffered the ordeal of being a teenager.

Now before I start to feel like an agony aunt, Rhonwyyn - well said. I always try to use good grammar, because it makes me wince to look at the posts of some members, not mentioning any names. Most are on other forums, mind. Of course marriage is the only place in which love can flourish, but there is often considerable difficulty finding someone willing to marry you that you haven't scared off.

I don't have any girls as friends. My guy friends are all like me I think, concerned with the superficial and making jokes, because they have no reason to want to be a real friend. They put up a front to the world as a protection from getting hurt. Hey, who doesn't? It just means you can't hold a conversation with them without it degenerating into a farce. As ooby says, you can't really talk to males about stuff, unless perhaps they were gay, but let's not go there. But your stuck with fellow geeks on the good ole' internet if you don't have any female friends. Girls are usually fearfully good gossips anyway, and you are advised never to give them any whiff of information or they will chase it like bloodhounds, and tear it to shreds until it is unrecognisable and spread over a very large area.

My most recent thoughts on love are that hey, it isn't so bad if you just happen to bump into someone you really hit it off with, but more frequently people either make feeble attempts to ask girls out that they think are pretty and look like a major idiot when they get rejected, or they for example have to cooperate in a task and actually find they like each other, and then break up and vow never to love again, before repeating the experience several times. It seems to me it is more about physical attraction, and finding a mate just like an animal. Pathetic, really. But hey that's IMNSHO!

I'd like to get married just for the financial benefit, and maybe an added bonus. [Razz]
Exactly. Stupid.

--------------------
Food is my life. Sleep is my escape.

Posts: 21 | From: The sub-etha | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
highonrice4ever
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Icon 10 posted September 30, 2004 21:08      Profile for highonrice4ever     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think love is something made up by the government to make money and control our mind. lol. jk. (9 out of 10 that excuse is correct though). What is love? You can't capture it in a pickle jar and sell it on Ebay thats for damn sure. I do believe it is more of a survival thing. Allow me to explain. If one had no "love" then a tribe can just split ways without caring. This would lead to smaller packs or isolation which can make you an easier target for hungry predators (damn those man-eating hamsters). So to survive we learn to "need"/"love" others.

Either that or i'm full of crap sauce and I just wasted calories typing that. lol. Oh well.

22/m (my b-day was 09/28 so buy me something for my computer already)

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Violets are corny, roses are thorny
baby baby you make me so h****
Hug me, touch me, don't be shy,
baby you are better than a warm apple pie!
- Me

Posts: 1 | From: California | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted September 30, 2004 21:14      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Is there a worm hole open somewhere?

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged


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