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Author Topic: Why are women so difficult?
Mac D
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 07:06      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Why, why, why? Someone please tell me.

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There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

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LemonSmuggler
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 08:04      Profile for LemonSmuggler     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Because we, the fairer sex go through a roller coaster of hormone changes monthly. Which causes us to be a little less...sane then our better halfs.

Or the woman in question is just a total and complete bitch. And if that be the case, I can offer no advice or information except that you should either 1) buy some earmuffs or 2) Run. Run fast. Run like you've never run before.

Hope that helps!
Lemon, the not so dating expert<3

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Oy to the vey.

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Snaggy

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Icon 12 posted March 24, 2007 08:31      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It doesn't help when you troll them with such questions. [Razz]
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ScholasticSpastic
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 08:38      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
'Tis true. Teasing in person can be conducive to feminine interest if done properly, but taunting from a distance can only get you flamed.

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"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 11:07      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Mac D __________________ Observations of an old man, men and women only appear to speak the same language. Words do not hold the same meaning for the opposite sex. Doesn't matter what side you are on it only appears to be the same. So do as many have done put up with what you will tolerate and run from what you won't. If you find a lass with like interests feel blessed.

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


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BooBooKitty

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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 11:17      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The same could be said about men. Why are men so difficult? Be careful where you tread. [Wink]
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Reedius
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 13:30      Profile for Reedius     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Men are logical beings, women are illogical and confusing and do things using their feelings and not their brains, it's weird and it is complicated and even they don't know this.
And they like to comunicate with body language almost entirely, something we men don't do, so all these factors make them totally complicated and misterious, i just know one thing that can neutralize all this:attraction(that can lead to love). If there's attraction between a man and a woman there's nothing that can interfere.
Seek to build/create/find attraction between you and you "target", that's the key.

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Geek or Nerd?

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BooBooKitty

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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 13:42      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Reedius:
Men are logical beings, women are illogical and confusing and do things using their feelings and not their brains, it's weird and it is complicated and even they don't know this.
And they like to comunicate with body language almost entirely, something we men don't do, so all these factors make them totally complicated and misterious, i just know one thing that can neutralize all this:attraction(that can lead to love). If there's attraction between a man and a woman there's nothing that can interfere.
Seek to build/create/find attraction between you and you "target", that's the key.

Don't get me started...

How can men be logical if they think with one of two heads? Hmm??

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littlenewsie
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 13:44      Profile for littlenewsie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Reedius, I'm offended. Honestly, women are not objects and should not be treated as such. That's what it seems they are to you. We think, we have feelings, and I don't know why you think otherwise. We're not brainless idiots.

Women do use their brains. How do you think Condoleezza Rice got to where she is? It sure wasn't by sleeping with everybody.

Sure, we maybe be a bit more emotionally involved and a bit more sentimental than men, but that's the way society has conditioned us to be, just as society has conditioned men to be the tough, unfeeling type.

There's more to a relationship than appearances. I don't think I communicate entirely in body language. If anything, I still feel a little awkward around my boyfriend. I'm much more comfortable talking to him, whether it be via computer or in person than doing anything physical with him. We were in a relationship for two months before we even hugged.

And there's plenty of things that can interfere with attraction. Common sense for one. Sure you can be attracted to someone, but you should get to know them before you take it to the next level. Who wants to be involved with a jerk?

And on a side note, I'm new! Hi...

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"Teachers ramble on and on about freedom of the press but God help you if you try to use it." Gordon Korman

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BooBooKitty

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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 14:11      Profile for BooBooKitty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Welcome, littlenewsie!!
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Reedius
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 14:24      Profile for Reedius     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What a said was only in the dating situacion not in work, education,etc and i don't think women are objects quite the contrary.
And this theory works in general, i'm still working on the exceptions.

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Geek or Nerd?

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SpazGirl
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 15:15      Profile for SpazGirl   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, as far as exceptions go you've found the place for them!

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Things, and things.

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nerdwithnofriends
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 15:17      Profile for nerdwithnofriends     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Haven't we gone over this, like, a bajillion times before?


And the next time I hear the hormone/pms excuse for a woman being bitchy, I'm going to explode, and then there'll be little pieces of nwnfbrain all over my roommate's stuff.

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"The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower." - Robert M. Pirsig

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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 18:14      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I knew a guy who did that. It took a long time to clean up. He was nice. The funeral was nice, too.

I'm really excited about this thread!! It looks like it may get contentious.

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"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

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Richard Wolf VI
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Icon 10 posted March 24, 2007 18:30      Profile for Richard Wolf VI   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Though being the same language, they use a totally different code.
So feelings and jewerly seem to be the only languages they can understand perfectly [Razz] ç
Don't bother speaking.

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Spiderman

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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 20:26      Profile for Spiderman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by nerdwithnofriends:
And the next time I hear the hormone/pms excuse for a woman being bitchy, I'm going to explode, and then there'll be little pieces of nwnfbrain all over my roommate's stuff.

Sweet! Be sure to take video. [Big Grin]

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LemonSmuggler
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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 23:17      Profile for LemonSmuggler     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by littlenewsie:
Reedius, I'm offended. Honestly, women are not objects and should not be treated as such. That's what it seems they are to you. We think, we have feelings, and I don't know why you think otherwise. We're not brainless idiots.

Women do use their brains. How do you think Condoleezza Rice got to where she is? It sure wasn't by sleeping with everybody.

Sure, we maybe be a bit more emotionally involved and a bit more sentimental than men, but that's the way society has conditioned us to be, just as society has conditioned men to be the tough, unfeeling type.

There's more to a relationship than appearances. I don't think I communicate entirely in body language. If anything, I still feel a little awkward around my boyfriend. I'm much more comfortable talking to him, whether it be via computer or in person than doing anything physical with him. We were in a relationship for two months before we even hugged.

And there's plenty of things that can interfere with attraction. Common sense for one. Sure you can be attracted to someone, but you should get to know them before you take it to the next level. Who wants to be involved with a jerk?

And on a side note, I'm new! Hi...

Hi, welcome! I'm new too! I've been here one whole day. [Smile] I rather enjoy it, hope you do too!

So on the subject of your reply I'd have to disagree with you. (And please note Ms. Rice, though very smart, and having achieved so much, is very much alone and you rarely, if ever hear a young girl say “When I grow up I want to be just like her!”)

He didn’t call women “brainless idiots.” That was your misinterpretation of where he was coming from. He merely stated that fact that women do tend to fallow their emotions. Society has not conditioned us be emotional, it is because of the many hormone changes that accrues in our brain monthly, that and the fact that the female brain is vastly different then the male brain. This does not make one sex weaker then the other; each sex just brings something different to the table. Men and women could not survive without each other, we are like a pair of mittens, we’re supposed to be together. Silly feminists like to say that men and women are completely 100% the same. We are not. Any sensible female would tell you that. Now that doesn’t mean we aren’t just as capable, we are, but we are different, and I believe that needs to be acknowledged.

And as for your statement saying you don’t think you communicate entirely in body language that was silly. Body language is not about physical contact, it’s about the way you move, the emotion in your steps, the swing of your arms, the turn of your head. Body language is called that because it tells us about a person and how they feel without even having to speak to them. We pick up on the way they feel by watching the movement of their body. We pick up if they are confident, scared, happy, sad, lost, etc.

I suggest you read The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine M.D. I’ve read it and thought it brilliantly written.

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Oy to the vey.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted March 24, 2007 23:21      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Since I believe bad questions deserve bad answers...

quote:
Originally posted by Mac D:
Why, why, why? Someone please tell me.

We aren't difficult. You're just dumb. [Wink] [Razz]

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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Mac D
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Icon 1 posted March 25, 2007 06:24      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Since I believe bad questions deserve bad answers...

quote:
Originally posted by Mac D:
Why, why, why? Someone please tell me.

We aren't difficult. You're just dumb. [Wink] [Razz]
[Eek!] lol, Well when it comes to women I'll be the first to admit to that statement.

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There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

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Icon 1 posted March 25, 2007 11:44      Profile for WinterSolstice     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The only difficulty I have with women is the "guess what I'm thinking" game. Aside from that, I rarely have issues with it.

In a workplace setting, I've never really had a problem understanding women (though some think they have to be jerks in order to get ahead).

My wife is difficult on occasion, but certainly no more so than I am. Some days people just don't want to get along. Myself included [Big Grin]

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An operating system should be like a light switch... simple, effective, easy to use, and designed for everyone.

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mistersaxon
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Icon 2 posted March 25, 2007 15:14      Profile for mistersaxon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've always liked the quote from Frasier when asked by Roz why men don't use sex to manipulate women:
"How can we use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!"

I think that might be most of the answer right there - women and their motives are far too subtle for our tiny little minds to grasp.

And yet here I am at 00:10 UK time doing invoices instead of being cuddled up in bed with my better half. Maybe sex isn't always what we want? Or maybe sometimes it is but we think we won't get it? I'm going to think about that for a minute now. .

Hmmm - catch you folks later, ok? I have a philosophical discussion to pursue somewhere else.

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Rich.

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Just_Jess_B

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Icon 11 posted March 26, 2007 10:54      Profile for Just_Jess_B   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Call the media. I'm about to defend women instead of men:

First of all, if you have an issue with difficult women, stop chasing after difficult women. A woman who is fussy with make up and clothing tends to be fussy overall. You choose who you associate with.

Second, broad brush commentary is offensive. Men aren't evil. Boys aren't stupid (so don't throw rocks at them). Women aren't difficult. While select men are evil, some boys are stupid (still, don't throw rocks at them), and some women are difficult, they are not the norm.

Third, women communicate how women communicate. Between women, we do pretty well. The subtle cues are going to be missed in cross-gender communication (men's cues as well, guys!) unless people try to meet halfway.

Fourth, there is no such thing as a perfect man or woman, so stop looking. There is no "One" just for you, but there are thousands upon thousands who you can compromise with to get to a final, steady result.

This pisses me off so much (I am Colonel Panic/ASM6816 rabid about the whole "Battle Between the Sexes" crap). These are the only truths I've found:

(1) Men and women communicate differently because of how their brains are wired to process information;
(2) Men and women are better at different things because of how their muscle and bone structures are built.

While some people apply the qualititative "better/worse" scale to it, I insist it is "different" we should focus upon, instead.

So, next time you just throw up your hands and say "Men are so damned inconsiderate!" or "Women are crazy!", think about what negative qualities you possess which made that broad-brush judgement possible. Then change yourself.

As for me? I'm a person who possesses qualities considered masculine and other qualities considered feminine. I'm a difficult woman (and would probably be a difficult man if I'd been born with testes and a penis). I don't care because those neatly labeled traits aren't masculine or feminine to me -- they're part of the sloppy whole person who is, literally, just Jess.

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Opinion is not Truth; that is why each has its own definition. Illiteracy sucks.

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Mac D
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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2007 15:18      Profile for Mac D     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well first off it's not one that I'm talking about, it's four.

Just to keep names private we will lable them in order of appearence and give them a designation of W1-W4.

W1: I have known this girl for about a decade and a half. Since high school. Reacently she found my Myspace page and we started talking again. She admited to me that she had a huge crush on me since we went to school together. I found this strange since I took her best friend to prom and was totally unaware of this crush she had on me. Then it gets funny. We found out we lived a block away from each other. So we decide to take a walk and go to a bar for a couple drinks. She then moves to Hudson WI. It's about 45 minutes away. We still talk but it's hard to go out with the distence and that I have givin up driving.

W2: I eloped with this girl. We are still legaly married and have spent a lot of time together. But there was a reason for the seperation. She has been calling me more often and we have been hanging out more often. And last week I took her out on a date.

W3: This girl is really pyscho and I can't seem to get rid of her. I get about 10 emails a day and about twice as many txt's on my phone. I have unlimited txt on my phone so it's not that big of a deal just annoying. She also just calls a lot. I can't find a polite way to get rid of her.

W4: This girl and I have gone out a couple times. We are both single parents so the kids tag a long. And it just seem like it could not go very far with the lack of time for each other. And it's really hard for 2 single parents to date. Both of you getting a sitter at the same time is not the easiest thing.

Hope that explains why I posted this thread.

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There's nothing wrong with me, This is how I'm supposed to be.

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csk

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Icon 1 posted March 27, 2007 01:50      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Just_Jess_B:
Second, broad brush commentary is offensive. Men aren't evil. Boys aren't stupid (so don't throw rocks at them). Women aren't difficult. While select men are evil, some boys are stupid (still, don't throw rocks at them), and some women are difficult, they are not the norm.

However, there are some common male/female traits/habits/behaviours that seem to hold true more often than not (but not for every single person). For example:

* men trying to solve a women's problem rather than listening and emphathising

* women being more willing to open up emotionally than men

* women using the "if you don't know what's wrong, i'm not going to tell you" approach.

However, these are basically just stereotypes, or guidelines. In just those three stereotypes I listed, my GF and I have the reverse of what you would expect in two of them. So sure, use these commonalities as a guide, but be willing to get to know someone enough to know where they diverge from the "usual"

quote:

Third, women communicate how women communicate.

Isn't that a "broad brush commentary"? [Razz]

quote:

Fourth, there is no such thing as a perfect man or woman, so stop looking. There is no "One" just for you, but there are thousands upon thousands who you can compromise with to get to a final, steady result.

YES!!! No relationship is perfect, easy or should be taken for granted. Consistent and continual effort needs to be put in by both parties, or it won't work...

quote:

While some people apply the qualititative "better/worse" scale to it, I insist it is "different" we should focus upon, instead.

Indeed. I reserve my right to be irritated by certain behaviours (the "if you don't know i'm not telling you" in particular), but I can also work around it, as I'm usually perceptive enough to work it out...


I pretty much agree with Jess's final points. My own opinion is that way too often miscommunication ruins relationships, and since communication can always be worked on and improved, it's not worth writing off a relationship because of that. However different interests, goals in life, etc, are probably more damning factors...

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6 weeks to go!

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mistersaxon
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Icon 1 posted March 27, 2007 02:03      Profile for mistersaxon     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mac D:
And it's really hard for 2 single parents to date. Both of you getting a sitter at the same time is not the easiest thing.

Share the sitter and split the cost if the kids get on okay and are the right ages.

Most sitters get a really easy ride, unless they are looking after my niece ( "Mum always lets us have a chocolate party when she goes out . . " ) so a couple more kids shouldn't be a problem if you tell them first and don't pick a night before a school day.

p.s. My research was more productive than anticipated ...

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Rich.

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