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Author Topic: talking/chatting?!
Tom- geeking around

Member # 2876

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Icon 11 posted March 26, 2005 12:45      Profile for Tom- geeking around   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi you all geeks..
Well, I am in quite an unfortunate situation, in which I actually brought myself on my own..
So, it's like this.. pretty exactly 3 weeks ago, a good chat-friend of mine asked me, if she could give a good friend of hers (a female friend.. I am male) my ICQ number.. She told me, that she was around my age, and we might get along very well.
I started chatting with that girl. Her name is Marion (we are both from Austria- so maybe these names might sounds unfamiliar for the english-speaking tongue)..
In fact, we seemed to come along extremely well, and so 5 days later (it was a free monday), we decided to meet.
Even though she was quite shy, our afternoon went extremely smooth and nice.
Later on, she told me over ICQ, that she thinks that I am treating her like a princes, and that I am treating her like nobody else did before...
Well-- I was quite happy about that compliment.. Who wouldnt?!?!?!?!
So, we continued chatting, and talking, and met once more, which was also a very nice afternoon...

Now, the bad part of it. - since we mostly talked over ICQ, we are quite used to each other over chatting...
but when it comes to talking.. to in-person talking, we are not as fast and far developed as our internet communication "egos".. You know what I mean?

One tends to be more open and talkable over the internet than in-person..

So, what is your advice towards getting this straight?
Did you experience what did?
like- being close, very close ones over the internet,, but shy ones iRL?

thanks guys..
thomas

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Pizza and ginormous jugs is what I need!

Posts: 374 | From: Vienna | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
n4dmx
Geek
Member # 3177

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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2005 12:51      Profile for n4dmx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I know this advice is a tired old standard, but here it is nonetheless; Be yourself, both online and IRL. [Wink]
Posts: 218 | From: Georgia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
garlicguy

Member # 3166

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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2005 12:56      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Try using the phone instead of ICQ or email when you can't be together in person. It is a step toward the face-to-face encounter in that it adds the human qualities carried in voice tonality and inflection. The trouble with with communicating via the net or web is that it lacks all of the human elements that we send via our eyes, voices, body language, gesticulating, etc. Since you started without all of that, it is probably overwhelming to add all those elements at once. Hence the advice to use the phone. IMHO.

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
TMBWITW,PB

Member # 1734

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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2005 14:37      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Reminds me of a JoT.

http://www.geekculture.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/461.html

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

Posts: 4010 | From: my couch | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tom- geeking around

Member # 2876

Member Rated:
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Icon 14 posted March 26, 2005 14:48      Profile for Tom- geeking around   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
LOOOL-- you know whats so funny about that?
When I wrote this post I wanted to link to that JoT, but I couldnt find it in my rush-
thanks for the link!
but it pretty much describes the situation.. damned.. what to do about that?

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Pizza and ginormous jugs is what I need!

Posts: 374 | From: Vienna | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged
Orpheus
Highlie
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Icon 1 posted March 26, 2005 21:23      Profile for Orpheus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think garlicguy made a good suggestion as a first step, you might even try chatting online in close proximity to one another. I had a similar problem with my girlfriend even though we met irl. I could talk much more freely on the phone with her than I could in person. For me, it just took some getting used to her and getting to feel comfortable being myself around her. I think the only way to do that is to spend time together and be supportive of each other so you can each feel comfortable being yourself.

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my cats make me crazy

Posts: 554 | From: Galveston, TX | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged
DigitalBill

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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Icon 1 posted March 27, 2005 23:11      Profile for DigitalBill   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Of course you could always integrate audio or video chat into your repast of communications choices... Especially if you're somewhat long distance... take a look at Skype (www.skype.com) for a great cross-platform chatting program!

Hope this helps, and good luck to you both...

=DB

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I've found life is so much better in the cartoon universe!
"No power in the 'Verse can stop us!"

Posts: 604 | From: The Wizards of Technology Binary Bunker | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mel
Alpha Geek
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Icon 1 posted March 28, 2005 00:18      Profile for Mel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Too much security in computers...you can look at what you type and take it back if you wish. None of that in person! No emoticons, no covering up your gass form the beans you ate for dinner, and no hiding your body language. I would suggest doing something before sitting down for coffee, like playing lazer tag, going for a jog or blade, a movie, etc. This will give you something to get excited about before you talk. Or maybe there's a common interest you both have that you can get excited about? Something to get rid of those insecurities!
Posts: 309 | From: Canada | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged
drunkennewfiemidget
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted March 28, 2005 07:39      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Have sex with her. As long as you're not terrible, all of the weirdness will go away instantly. [Wink]

No, seriously, just give the in-person relationship some time to progress. It will come with time, and eventually be equal to or greater than the online relationship.

Treat it like a new relationship. Only, this time, the odds are more in your favour due to the fact that you're already aware of the compatibilities.

Posts: 4897 | From: Cambridge, ON, Canada | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged
Jace Raven

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 2444

Icon 1 posted March 28, 2005 21:07      Profile for Jace Raven         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mel:
Too much security in computers...you can look at what you type and take it back if you wish. None of that in person! No emoticons, no covering up your gass form the beans you ate for dinner, and no hiding your body language. I would suggest doing something before sitting down for coffee, like playing lazer tag, going for a jog or blade, a movie, etc. This will give you something to get excited about before you talk. Or maybe there's a common interest you both have that you can get excited about? Something to get rid of those insecurities!

My GOD! I have never heard such wisdom in my life. If only..../me wanders into wonderful fantasy...

Perhaps something up beat like a concert. I would love if someone i was dating would take me to a concert, a theme park or even a squad assult course.

Posts: 1791 | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted March 29, 2005 11:29      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Shared real life experinces will draw you together in the real world. Humor and/or excitment are the best. Movies aren't as good as you'd think for dates, they really aren't a shared experience... Live theater is better; but, the best is to actually DO something.

You might also want to make a mental list about things you want to talk about, and when conversation starts to die off, grab the next thing on the list.

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My Site

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Tom- geeking around

Member # 2876

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Icon 14 posted March 29, 2005 12:09      Profile for Tom- geeking around   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Guys- (and gals)! thansk for your advice.-
I will end up spending more time with her-- which is always a good time.

I shall keep you informed of my progress *gg*
thanks again!

greetings--
thomas

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Pizza and ginormous jugs is what I need!

Posts: 374 | From: Vienna | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged


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