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Author Topic: Female's choices...
Zim'et
Alpha Geek
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Icon 2 posted October 11, 2004 13:44      Profile for Zim'et         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I tried wearing a claddagh once... no one knew what it was. Maybe I could just get a special tatoo that secretly and subliminaly alerted guys to the fact that I am single and desperately looking. I wonder what that would be though? What do men like, just a symbol I mean? A symbol which held such power would be the most sought after knowledge of women EVERYWHERE. I must invent this immediately...
Posts: 254 | From: Montana | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
MTB Babe
SuperBlabberMouth!
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Icon 11 posted October 11, 2004 15:58      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Its already been invented! Its the see-through shirt. I'm sure it would fetch you a guy in no time!

[crazy] [Eek!] [crazy]

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Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

Posts: 1003 | From: State College, PA, USA | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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Icon 1 posted October 11, 2004 16:01      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Callipygous:
For this and other reasons, until I met my future wife I really thought it highly unlikely that I would ever marry. Curiously, like Xanthine, it was only when I accepted that, and decided to be happy and make the most of my freedom and single life, that I met her. Maybe if you are looking for love, it runs away and hides, but when you don't, it comes to find you.

I have another thought, and feel free to argue as I am quite young and naive in these matters.

They say you can't be loved until you love yourself. There's a lot of truth in that I think. Furthermore, I've heard myself in the past and a lot of lovelorn people in the present bemoaning how they feel like they're unfulfilled or less than a whole person without a relationship. That's not loving yourself. Loving someone, even yourself, means you accept them wholly, warts and all, for who they are and not for any other reason, and you forgive them for their faults without any reservation. Accepting your single status is part of that global acceptance of yourself. If you can get past that "I must be with someone" and just say "this is who I am, and I'm happy with that", then you've made a crucial step towards loving yourself, and it's that much easier for others to love you. That and by accepting yourself for who you are, your self-esteem gets an automatic boost and you'll have more self-confidence, which seems to be highly attractive, and you'll also gain some emotional independence, which, unless you've scored yourself a weirdo, is very much appreciated by your partner (though I've found that's it is possible to err on the side of too much independence).

Caveat: there's a line between self-acceptance and self-absorption. One's healthy. The other isn't.

So I strongly encourage all you singletons to get over your singleness. There's nothing wrong with you. In some ways, being single is better. I recently embarked on another relationship and am now re-living the whole expereince of sweating over someone else's job as well as my own (ever tried to dress a man with no dressy clothes for a job interview? It's kinda like clipping a guinea pig's nails...).

And Zi'met, you've probably figured in a few of those guys' wet dreams by now. I suggest talking to them. Take it slow, but be consistnetly attentive and you'll eventually get past their shyness. You may not end up with love, but you'll make some friends, and those are pleasant things to have.

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Callipygous
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted October 11, 2004 17:08      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Xan you are so far from naive that it.... well it seems a particularly long way from where you are!

You nailed it there, and the other thing is that when you run into someone you find attractive in this frame of mind, instead of trying to fit them into a hole in your life, you are more likely to be interested in entertaining, laughing, giving, and sharing the more interesting life and friends that you will by now have, which is surely more alluring to the other party than being some pathetic loser's saviour.

I wish it was you running for President, not these peculiar middle aged men. [Wink]

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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
csk

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Icon 1 posted October 11, 2004 18:14      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yep, Xanthine, once more you prove to be wise beyond your years.

The other advantage of this approach is for those of us with chameleon-like tendencies, it should cause us to be less likely to completely change ourselves for the sake of "the one". If you work out who you are, then fit a relationship around that, it's much healthier, I think. Otherwise you aren't grounded, and inherently unstable (which isn't good for the relationship, either, since the other person is trying to work you out, and you keep shifting).

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6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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Icon 1 posted October 11, 2004 18:22      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Callipygous:

I wish it was you running for President, not these peculiar middle aged men. [Wink]

Hehe. I'm 11 years too young to even be eligible, and I'm far too honest to ever be a politician.

I agree csk. All I can add to that is that finding out who you are usually involves an unpleasant ass-kicking or two or three or four...

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
csk

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Icon 1 posted October 11, 2004 18:26      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
All I can add to that is that finding out who you are usually involves an unpleasant ass-kicking or two or three or four...

Bwhaa .. I just had a bizarre thought.

"WWCVD - helping trolls develop a strong sense of self since 2004!"

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6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted October 12, 2004 07:48      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The problem with the Claddagh is that no one remembers which way is which, and so I personally would always see the claddah and assume it was a promise ring of sorts (as they are sometimes used).

There is something to be said X for needing to know who are and where you are going (and feeling you have self worth) seperate from the relationships you may be in or are trying to get into. Remember that no one needs a romantic relationship, though they are what most of us want.

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged


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