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» The Geek Culture Forums!   » The Archives   » The Big Archives   » Does love really exist? Or is it just vaporware? (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Does love really exist? Or is it just vaporware?
GAVandi
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Icon 9 posted August 22, 2003 19:31      Profile for GAVandi   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You would think as an "older" geek, that experience would make all the difference. You would think that life would be sorted out by now. That the women you meet would be wanting your wisdom and security. I have to say, no matter what your age, it just doesn't happen. Last "relationship" I met online, she said she was looking for a committed relationship, but when it came down to it, it was "run away, run away!" Worse than that, she broke up with me through IM. Don't ya think she could've told me when I kissed her goodbye that morning? So now it's back to advertising on the personal sites to see if I can find someone even remotely interesting. Or remotely interested in me. Thought this dating stuff was for the younguns, but it appears to get no less worse over time.

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"Once you turn Mac, you never turn back."

Posts: 2 | From: Moorpark, California | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
magebard
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Icon 1 posted August 22, 2003 20:09      Profile for magebard     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
No, it does get better... the male/female ratio goes from 20/1 down to about 5/1, which still sucks but it IS better. Somewhat.

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"I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks." - Winston Churchill

Posts: 116 | From: vancouver, bc, canada | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
-ct-
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 2 posted August 22, 2003 21:53      Profile for -ct-   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by GAVandi:
... So now it's back to advertising on the personal sites to see if I can find someone even remotely interesting. Or remotely interested in me. ...

i've posted on 4 different sites, and have not had a single email or note or anything to show me anyone has even LOOKED in my direction


"Does love really exist? Or is it just vaporware? "

vaporware, i'm sure of it now

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Things are always darkest... just before you pull your head out of your butt, void where prohibited, keep away from flame, surcharge(s) may apply.

www.harddriveHELL.com and demoniclemon.com

Posts: 1906 | From: nowhere, man | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
GAVandi
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Icon 1 posted August 22, 2003 22:26      Profile for GAVandi   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You've posted on only 4 sites? Try 10 to 20 sites, I lost count and can't even remember the login to some of them. But of all those, 1 response from somebody who I would date. Of course, she's the one that dumped me. Got a couple of other responses, but not even in the same state, let alone within driving distance, and some who (don't take me wrong here) were twice my weight. Especially liked the one from russia, where all I had to do was pay her plane fare here. Yeah, right. Got one more response from Match.com, still questioning how that will go. Just waiting for my chest to opened again and the heart extracted.

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"Once you turn Mac, you never turn back."

Posts: 2 | From: Moorpark, California | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted August 23, 2003 00:38      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't think it's vaporware, but methinks the demo looks a lot better then the real thing.

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"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


Posts: 2338 | From: Southeast Michigan, USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
magebard
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Icon 1 posted August 23, 2003 01:06      Profile for magebard     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, my understanding of the matter is that most girls expect you to make the first move. Then the same girls are suprised at how many of their dates turn out to be jerks.
.
Message to any girls who might be reading this: make the first move! email me! [Smile]

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"I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks." - Winston Churchill

Posts: 116 | From: vancouver, bc, canada | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
hey-U
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Icon 1 posted August 23, 2003 02:12      Profile for hey-U     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
GAVandi: Worse than that, she broke up with me through IM.
*That* is disgraceful. Of course she could've told you when you said goodbye that morning. Witch... You're better off without her, without a doubt.

To answer your question, it's vapourware, end of story. Although it sounds like yours had a character like tupperware...

Posts: 1263 | From: London | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
DrPepper
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Icon 1 posted August 24, 2003 00:52      Profile for DrPepper     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Don't be hating on tupperware!

My experience with online dating services (browsing, the occasional conversation, chuckling when I see someone I know) is that they're really only targeted at a perticular crowd...and for the most part it's not my crowd and it's not worth the time to try to figure out or find the people who I could get along with. It's just easier to find a group or place with people that I enjoy being around and from there go about making friendships, relationships, whatever.

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GeekAvenger
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Icon 1 posted September 01, 2003 22:55      Profile for GeekAvenger   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It sounds good posting on multiple sites, but wqhat about the moral dillema when multiple people respond? [ohwell]

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Geekier Than Thou. I think academically so therefore I'm a geek?

Ah the wonders of the crowd.

Posts: 485 | From: Australia | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
csk

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Icon 1 posted September 01, 2003 23:16      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A friend of mine has been doing the rounds of a few dating sites. Apparently a huge determining factor in the response rate is whether you include a photo of yourself or not. He refuses to include one, and hence doesn't have a very high hit rate.

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6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted September 02, 2003 00:26            Edit/Delete Post 
I don't know about dating sites, but I'm perfectly capable of becoming interested in a person without seeing their photo. Course, there is the worrisome issue that you might not like what you see when the time comes, but even if that time does come, it doesn't have to be insurmountable either.
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skylar
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Icon 1 posted September 02, 2003 13:52      Profile for skylar     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
I don't know about dating sites, but I'm perfectly capable of becoming interested in a person without seeing their photo.

I'd agree with that. Mind you, when it comes to dating sites, the point is that people are on the lookout for a relationship from the offset... so, people using sites would assume that all posters would want to present the best view of themselves possible. Hence, it would be thought that by not producing a photo, they are trying to hide something in order to create a better overall impression. When you 'meet' someone online elsewhere (i.e. not at a personals site) and it just clicks before you've seen their face, you don't automatically assume that just because you haven't seen them, that means they've got something to hide...

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"arm, aber geeky"

Posts: 1994 | From: Deutschland | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted September 02, 2003 15:59            Edit/Delete Post 
Well, if they have a website with no photo of themself there (particularly if they have photos of other things there that they took), they might. Particularly if they refuse to put a photo up. (And do indeed have something to hide).
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-ct-
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Icon 1 posted September 02, 2003 22:00      Profile for -ct-   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
well, i put up my pic - one that is a few years old -not that you could tell - (don't have the long hair in it), and have had zero responses anyway

--------------------
Things are always darkest... just before you pull your head out of your butt, void where prohibited, keep away from flame, surcharge(s) may apply.

www.harddriveHELL.com and demoniclemon.com

Posts: 1906 | From: nowhere, man | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted September 03, 2003 00:06            Edit/Delete Post 
'Fraid I'm going to have to potentially spoil your bitterness here, but, we'd need to be scientific about this - how many geeks (single or otherwise (*looks at skylar* ;) ) have received interest due in full or in part to their photo in the photo album? (or maybe on their personal site?)

I know I've had a few positive comments about mine, but no actual interest beyond that.

Btw, what happened to your second set of New York pics? There was a nice pic of you and Jessy in there - maybe you should use that one (it had the hair).

[Boring aside: the attempt to locate that page found, instead, a silly bug in iCab which I reported and is now fixed.]

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schnurren
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Icon 1 posted September 03, 2003 05:32      Profile for schnurren     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i could imagine that beginning a relationship through an online dating system would have many inborn problems. It begins as the sort of relationship in which the two people involved really want a relationship. I would imagine that there is much hype and disappointment involved.

that aside, as we all see here, the internet is a viable way to meet people, especially if your interest are computer related.

my point: love is not vaporware, but psuedolove found in relationships based on lonliness is frought with vapidity. (These aren't neccessarily the ones started online. Many bar relationships and workplace relationships have the same tone)
this of course makes the people involved more cynical and lonely.

Posts: 184 | From: PA | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
-ct-
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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Icon 1 posted September 03, 2003 08:31      Profile for -ct-   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
... how many geeks (single or otherwise (*looks at skylar* [Wink] ) have received interest due in full or in part to their photo in the photo album? (or maybe on their personal site?)...

zero here

quote:

... Btw, what happened to your second set of New York pics? There was a nice pic of you and Jessy in there - maybe you should use that one (it had the hair)...

ummm, i dunno? i'm sure i have them around somewhere, but i dunno about using that pic, it's a bit washed out and you can sure tell i've been sweating all day
not exactly a great shot

--------------------
Things are always darkest... just before you pull your head out of your butt, void where prohibited, keep away from flame, surcharge(s) may apply.

www.harddriveHELL.com and demoniclemon.com

Posts: 1906 | From: nowhere, man | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted September 03, 2003 09:17            Edit/Delete Post 
*nods at the sage wisdom of schnurren*

-ct-: Hm, you could always Photochop it ;P

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justelise
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Icon 1 posted September 04, 2003 07:57      Profile for justelise   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by -ct-:
well, i put up my pic - one that is a few years old -not that you could tell - (don't have the long hair in it), and have had zero responses anyway

Sometimes it has nothing to do with the picture. Remember, women aren't visual like you guys. When I have parused some online dating venues (Yahoo! Personals and match.com), 95% of the ads sucked because of lack of content or were just plain boring. Women tend to be more verbal and appreciate a good read. If your little bio is too dry and your ad's title or catch line is boring, you get passed over.

The other thing that is also a huge turn off on those sites is when someone continually checks "Ask me!" or something of the like rather than taking the time to fill out the answers carefully. If you didn't take the time to answer the questions, what makes the girl think you'd give her any of your time? It just makes you come off like you don't really care.

Another big issue is the picture, of course. Regardless of what you look like, you need a good picture. Smile (if you're so compelled show off those pearly whites). Don't include a picture of you and someone else (ESPECIALLY ANOTHER GIRL EVEN IF SHE'S YOUR MOM OR SISTER)! Don't let the viewer get confused as to which one you are in the picture. And if there is another girl in the picture, that's an automatic turn off because it makes you come off like you're hung up on someone else. Oh.. zoom in.. being able to see someone's mug close up is always good. By close up I don't mean a nostril shot either. [Smile]

I don't really bother with any of those sites because after a while all of the ads run together and turn into one really boring guy. That and there's no one with an IQ bigger than their shoe size who's not on Social Security within 100 miles of here. [Smile]

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Tis folly to be wise where ignorance is bliss.

Posts: 23 | From: Orlando, FL | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
evilbibo
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted September 04, 2003 08:35            Edit/Delete Post 
And what does IQ have to do with being on Social Security? My wife happens to be on SS and it has nothing to do with her IQ. She happens to be disabled and that is why she is on SS.

There are plenty of rich dumb people out there too [Razz]

quote:
Originally posted by justelise:
[.......That and there's no one with an IQ bigger than their shoe size who's not on Social Security within 100 miles of here. [Smile]


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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted September 04, 2003 08:59      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think she meant that all the young people in her area are dumb, evilbibo.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted September 04, 2003 16:01      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I had been thinking of saying more earlier, but my day has been hectic, and I think I forgot a bit of what I was going to say :-/.

I think that as justelise put it, 'a good read' might be more valuable than a picture. A picture is a very nice thing to see at some point, but a greater interest in each other can most likely be found by learning something of substance about the person. Speaking for us, I know that I had an interest in Xanthine quite some time ago from what I had read in her posts, though I hadn't done anything about it at the time. She tells me now that she had a like for my posts, and found something interesting in them (a great surprise to me - I didn't think many people found my posts interesting :-P), and I think this is where we had established something of a common interest. From there, later on in time, it just took a well-timed shove from a 3rd party (who has a penchant for Mustangs [Wink] ) on IRC to point us at each other. Around that time, we actually got around to seeing a picture of each other, but not before having spoken (textually, anyway). And the rest is history...and while I like pictures, I'd rather dig into my heart (to the people who love gore: I'm talking about the metaphorical/romantic kind here [Wink] right about now to call up a happy image in my mind.

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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justelise
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Icon 1 posted September 04, 2003 16:28      Profile for justelise   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
I think she meant that all the young people in her area are dumb, evilbibo.

That's exactly what I meant. I haven't had a decent face to face conversation with anyone within 5 years of my age either way since I moved here.

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Tis folly to be wise where ignorance is bliss.

Posts: 23 | From: Orlando, FL | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
evilbibo
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted September 04, 2003 18:01            Edit/Delete Post 
Ah I get it now, I ain't so bright some days. [blush]


quote:
Originally posted by justelise:
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
I think she meant that all the young people in her area are dumb, evilbibo.

That's exactly what I meant. I haven't had a decent face to face conversation with anyone within 5 years of my age either way since I moved here.

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illuminatus
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Icon 1 posted September 04, 2003 21:32      Profile for illuminatus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Love exists. That's for sure. Yet mutual love, I have yet to see anywhere. I think mutual feelings of love is vaporware.
Posts: 124 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged


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