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» The Geek Culture Forums   » The Archives   » The Big Archives   » Last resort of a depressed delusional avoidant dependant schizotypal paranoid loser. (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Last resort of a depressed delusional avoidant dependant schizotypal paranoid loser.
always_like_a_brother
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Icon 1 posted July 27, 2002 14:16      Profile for always_like_a_brother   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, those may all be very mild, but I show traces of them. I can be a bit paranoid at times. I meat all these girls that tell me I'm like the brother they don't have, that I'm so sweet, that I can always make them laugh, and then they go off flirting with asswholes and getting crushed. Makes me pissed. I'm 15 years old and this is my last resor....
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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted July 27, 2002 22:01      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by always_like_a_brother:
Well, those may all be very mild, but I show traces of them. I can be a bit paranoid at times. I meat all these girls that tell me I'm like the brother they don't have, that I'm so sweet, that I can always make them laugh, and then they go off flirting with asswholes and getting crushed. Makes me pissed. I'm 15 years old and this is my last resor....


been there...kinda...just plain geeky meself, always have girls tell me that I'm "such a nice guy" etc, annoying as hell isn't it? Well, I don't know how much of a chance you have around here, but good luck! I found my love here, but she's away on a trip right now too, otherwise she'd wish you luck too...

------------------
"so what are you going to do?"
"Oh, just take her out to dinner, then I'm going to take her back to my apartment and introduce her to my monkey"
"And to think, he's *not* being metaphoric"


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always_like_a_brother
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Icon 1 posted July 27, 2002 23:01      Profile for always_like_a_brother   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks, it's neat to think I could meet my frist girlfriend in here. I live in Orange Cali, I dont know if theres anyone in from there on these forums....I'm glad you have a girlfriend, I wish you and her much luck
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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted July 28, 2002 10:33      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Last resort seems a bit too extreme to me. "This is my last resort" sounded better when sung by Papa Roach. I can understand what you're saying - I've been there myself (except for calling anything my last resort), and I bet many of us here have seen the stupid behavior of which you speak. If you peruse the Forums, you will probaly see numerous mentions of LJBF (Let's Just Be Friends). It happens a lot. I have a whole lot of female friends - though none of them (that I can immediately think of) are dating jerks. Many are dating geeks or just nice guys, which leaves me asking "So why aren't they just going out with me - I'm a nice geek." Sometimes it's hard to switch from becoming friendly prior to going out and becoming a couple.
Anyway, getting closer to the more immediate topic - you are still in high school, a hellish time for geeks. In this place, many things defy logic, most particularly the social system. This system dictates that jocks are king of it all, followed by the cheerleader type. The jocks tend to envy the smarter geeks, and hide it by mocking them, and use their superior physical ability to instill fear in the geeks, so that they may maintain their warped social order. Many parents raise their children to believe this nonsense, and not just the boys. So many girls believe the imagery fed to them by the media, and reinforced by some parents, leading thme to seek the jocks or preppy kids, the Tom Cruises and Allen Iversons (the latter is adored by someone I pursued - I was happy to hear the news about him).

If she thinks of you as a brother she doesn't have - then I'd guess you've been a great friend to her [my best friend is like the sister I don't have]. The problem leading to this is that you didn't move soon enough to establish your romantic interest in her, so she's become comfortable with you, and has probably lost the ability to see you as a romantic interest - the potential mystery is gone - she knows you. I can't say I've had a great amount of success in these areas, some of this is pure speculation.

You're 15, you have three years until you go to college - don.t worry about it too much - high school will go by much faster than you think. College is nothing like it - the insane restrictions are gone, and you pretty much only deal with people you want to know. This is not to say you shuldn't stop trying, just to give you hope for the future. You should definitely continue to try, and not give up hope. Don't think about the idiots the girls you know are going out with - think about meeting and going out with someone. Do not let yourself get angry with either of them (male/female), this will do bad things for your image - trust me, I know -- I still feel bad that I seemed to have hurt this girl's feelings with my brisk, isolationist attitude. Try to ignore people who bother you, but don't slight them yourself. If you find yourself at a loss, try to take your mind off it by studying or coding - this way you'll be doing something worthwhile, rather than spinning your wheels irately (fig. of speech), which is relatively useless.

Also, I recommend you talk to someomne about this (I'm not saying a psychiatrist or anything of the like - unless you actually feel like it), like a friend, sibling, or parent. It's good to have someone to talk these thinga through with - not to say we're not good, but IRL discussion can be better at times. If you know a girl who feels like you're her brother, try talking to her about what's trubling you (start lightly, though), and you might find her to be a good friend. She might just try to set you up with a friend of hers .

P.S. It's pretty ironic that intended to post many of the ideas present here in a new thrad, though I may start it anyway (though it had no mention of high school in it).
This message was typed on a Sharp Zaurus (offline, thought, from the comforts of my bed). The following are statistics for this comment:
Jul 28 00:25 gc_re__last_resort.txt
11 748 4003 gc_re__last_resort.txt
This means I typed about 748 words in about a hour, giving me a rate of roughly 12 words per minute on this little keyboard, much of it now touchtyping with my thumbs (not quite as good as ~50wpm on a real keyboard - but it adds up, I'm using 1/5th the number of fingers). I love this thing! There's almost nothing better than a Linux PDA, except perhaps a real PDA (play on TLAs - Uilleann might catch it this time around , and I hope others get my strange sense of humor).


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uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 28, 2002 14:43            Edit/Delete Post 
I have no choice but to get it when it's signposted with my name in neon lights ;) 15 eh? Odd, I can barely believe people ever dated that young, shows you how out of it I was then, or how much I've just forgotten - it was only six years ago for me. Coming from someone who can barely remember anything past the day before, I guess it's hardly surprising.

PDAs? I'm not sure what to make of them - seeing couples involved in physical activities are not exactly fun for those not involved with anyone, although they do allow for living by proxy.

Hrm, funny thing is, I've never seen a Zaurus in Britain - not sure how it would have affected my decision making when I came to buy a palmtop. I doubt I'd want Linux on one - way too complicated for a palmtop, which is something I want to be usable :)

OK, I'll quit rambling now

- uilleann

PS dragonman97 - no need to capitalise my name any more, I've bowed to the pressure and dropped the capital letter.


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always_like_a_brother
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Icon 1 posted July 28, 2002 20:12      Profile for always_like_a_brother   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It seem's like everyone around me is either getting a significant other or sex buddy, which may be adding to my desparation. I didn't know how similar I was to the rest of you, that we've all been like the brother at sometime.....
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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted July 28, 2002 20:18      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
aye, it seems to be a trait shared by all geeks at some point or another..
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uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 01:29            Edit/Delete Post 
always_like_a_brother: All of us? Hey, I'm 21 and I've never had a girlfriend :)

- uilleann


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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 03:07      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Now U, he said that all of us have had someone LJBF them, which is pretty much true for all the male geeks on these boards, now isn't it?...I don't know where you got all of us having a girlfriend..
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uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 03:54            Edit/Delete Post 
Quoting neotatsu:
Now U, he said that all of us have had someone LJBF them
Which I've not.

I don't know where you got all of us having a girlfriend..
I quote him, saying, "It seem's like everyone around me is either getting a significant other or sex buddy.

Edit: Of course, when I said "all of us", I was assuming that by "everyone around me", he was referring to all of us here. Now, it looks like he's referring to people in real life. Even so, the comment still applies.

- uilleann


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MrMachineCode
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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 07:54      Profile for MrMachineCode     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Speaking as someone who is clinically diagnosed with both bipolar disorder and schizoaffective disorder (I inherited one from each parent. Yay me)...

It's difficult growing up in a world in which the way you're mind works is fundementally different from the norm. I actually have to give conscious thought to things that are automatic to most people. I have to study nonverbal communication as one learns a foreign language; like Ford Prefect, I often don't catch sarcasm if I'm not concentrating.


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always_like_a_brother
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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 09:51      Profile for always_like_a_brother   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
uilleann, actually I did mean everyone around me in real life, and no not everyone is getting a girlfriend or sex buddy but thats the situation with the crowd I'm currently attached to.
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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 10:07      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sex buddies - that's an interesting term. I don't recall my female friends ever telling me they thought of me as that - sounds interesting .
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uilleann
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Icon 10 posted July 29, 2002 13:36            Edit/Delete Post 
Come now, dragonman, tell me why you think any of them would ever do that? ; )
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Zwilnik

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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 14:52      Profile for Zwilnik   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by MrMachineCode:
like Ford Prefect, I often don't catch sarcasm if I'm not concentrating.

That's probably just because you're American (disclaimer: the 'universal Americans not getting sarcasm' joke doesn't apply to New Yorkers or Americans from Chicago)

Communication, both verbal and non-verbal are the most critical parts of surviving in society. Anyone who is able to succesfully work around any communication restricting condition gets my vote.

always_like_a_brother. just being there for people can win them over in the end. Don't let being in a rush to get hitched make you come across as the 'anxious' type.


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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 17:33      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quoting Zwilnik:
That's probably just because you're American (disclaimer: the 'universal Americans not getting sarcasm' joke doesn't apply to New Yorkers or Americans from Chicago)
Or those of us who have spent their lives being particularly sarcastic in nature...

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TheAnnoyedCockroach
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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 19:24      Profile for TheAnnoyedCockroach   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My.

I'm pretty much just like you. Except for one thing... I don't let it get to me.

I figure that all will happen in due time. Patience, my friend. You're only 15. Hell, I'm 17 and I've yet to find somebody I really want to be with.

A bit early for last resorts, I should think. The waning of your High school years and, of course, your college years will give you plenty of opportunity.

Trust me.

On second thought... don't.

------------------
Wait! It's a trick. Get an axe.


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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted July 29, 2002 20:36      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
heh, if you don't want to trust him ^, trust me, heres my advice: What he said *points at roach* ...things will happen eventually, hell I wasn't looking for love when I came here..at least, not in specific, I was just looking for other geeks...the fact that I fell in love with the geekette I found is just a happy plus
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plastic
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Icon 12 posted July 30, 2002 01:34      Profile for plastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was readin this and it struck me as it does everytime I read of someone saying the " she says she likes me for a brother/friend...and then ends up chasing some guy who is a total jerk..." line in some form or another it seems to be a phrase utter by lots of decent men these days. But my major problem with this statement is what attracts you to the kind of girls that like asses in the first place? Isnt it sort of the same chemical as it were that attracts the girls to the bad guys? I say look for girls who are interested in nice guys, girls who are not the norm, some of us girls really do look for friend/brother types for relationships because we know you're the best kind. keep looking.

------------------

quote:
"A PERSON is smart,
PEOPLE as a whole are stupid....


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spungo
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Icon 1 posted July 30, 2002 02:25      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Zwilnik:
That's probably just because you're American (disclaimer: the 'universal Americans not getting sarcasm' joke doesn't apply to New Yorkers or Americans from Chicago)


I know you're only kidding, Zwilnik, but it's an interesting point - and one I've never accepted: I think it's cynicism that Europeans are more endowed with, not sarcasm... which ain't great.

------------------
"This week I are be mostly scripting in perl."


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LifetimeTrekker
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Icon 7 posted July 30, 2002 15:52      Profile for LifetimeTrekker     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
And here I thought it was a thread by Nayt.

"They've got you, under your skin.."


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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted July 30, 2002 20:44      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
ya know, it occurs to me that it probably wasn't the best pick up post to call this thread "Last resort of a depressed delusional avoidant dependant schizotypal paranoid loser." ...in my experience a geekette dosn't want a guy with such a shity opinion of himself, things are rarely THAT bad, show a little confidence man...I guess what I'm saying is get over it...sounds rather trollish when I think about it, but it's what *I* had to do, use Twinkies motto "Just Do It"(I know, I know it's the nike thing, but it makes sence)...basically carpe diem, it's the only way you'll get anywhere anytime soon without a lot of luck..
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weensicka
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Icon 1 posted July 31, 2002 11:43      Profile for weensicka   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm wondering, always_like_a_brother, if you have ever talked with any of these girls that you like about how you feel. Has the issue come up and they've said the whole LJBF thing or do you just assume it because of how they treat you? The only reason I ask is because for the longest time, I was good friends with a bunch of guys but *they* treated me like a *sister* and I never knew any of them were interested in dating. Apparently, they just figured I wasn't interested in them in that way. And the reason I know this is that I eventually got up the courage to ask one of them out. Maybe this doesn't help you, but you never know what can happen.

Anyway, as for what people have been posting in regards to "wait til college" I completely agree. Although, do be wise in your choice of university as sometimes certain schools just become a continuation of the 13th grade. Believe me, I teach at one of them.

Good luck!

------------------
Is there any tea on this ship?


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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted July 31, 2002 19:33      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thats great advice Weensika, there was a girl named monika that I was good friends with, we had our little geek group that hung out, had classes together(purely coincidence..), etc. By the end of the year I discovered that I wasn't the only one attracted to her, apparently all but 1 of my friends wanted to go out with her, but figured she wasn't interested because of the way she acted around our friend Bill... turns out she was interested in Bill, but Bill was the ONE of us who wasn't interested in her... anywho, she had such a low opinion of herself by the end of the year because she thought no one was interested in her, when she told me I could barely keep from laughing my ass off, haha
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always_like_a_brother
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Icon 1 posted July 31, 2002 21:50      Profile for always_like_a_brother   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Maybe theres a love triangle in my group of friends and I dont even know it!!! My friend did talk to the one I like a lot and she said she wants to 'dry hump' (excuse her language) me, but in a joking manner. Although when I did talk to her about her and my friend she sais she clicked better with me. What do youguys think? aDD THAT SHES TWO YEARS OLDER.
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