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Author
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Topic: Is it really possible???
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snupy
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted September 11, 2002 21:03
Wow. I want to thank everyone so far for being so brutally honest. I must say, I'm astonished to find that none of you believe in happiness as a permanent state of being. It especially saddens me that the "youngsters" like Roach have already become resigned to that. When I was 17, I thought anything was possible. I can't help wondering if this is a symptom of the times we live in?
I also wonder if a random sampling of the population would yield the same results, or are we "geeks" and geek wannabes predisposed to this way of thinking. Maybe it does have something to do with intelligence, as was mentioned earlier???
I apologize for the depressing tone here. Where's Spike when you need him? or Spungo? Sky?
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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family
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GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted September 11, 2002 21:53
Snupy, I realize I don't always seem like an all ways happy person, and I honestly walk around almost completly neutral (at least not coscienously wither happy or sad). It is when I look around to see what I have that I realize under this impartial observer that I wear I am a happy person. I have a lot that should bring me down, and at times I do indulge myself in my dression. I find that expressing in personal writtings the darker sides of emotions and letting the happy stuff "permeate" or spread it seems to keep me iternally happy.
Thinking about it, I don't think it is "happy" but more like a "satisfied" or "content" that is beanth this exterior. I keep few close quite on purpose, but my close friends (the ones that I do have) are closer than family... My biggest problem is that I tend to take on their worries, as my life is admittedly a fairly easy path to walk. To be honest, my only deep gripes come from the seperation I have with the world. The most important thing in my life is making the people that I care about as happy and satisfied as I can. I would give my life for anyone, but I'd give my soul if it would help them. At times, the needless burden I carry weighs me down and it is in those times that I rely on my spirtuality to help carry me though. I believe that the truth path to happiness is simply believeing in humanity and following a moral path. People who don't expect much of people or the world don't get much of people or the world. People who think that the world is perfect and people will never cheat are destine to be let down. The world will, as the world will, and it is how you look at things that make you feel what you feel.
I was on the phone tonight, and I called a woman who was vary intrested in comming to see some of our shows. I was calling her back because last time I called she was just getting settled from a vaccation in Alaska, and she was the happiest person I spoke to in quite some time. In the course of the conversation she tells me that she is hesitant to buy now, because she has cancer and has tratments starting soon. She wasn't sure how much energy she'll have to get out durring the treatments. I was immedatly backed off, and tried to sympathize with her... and started back off the sales pitch. She says to me, "The first one is tomarrow, so call me early next next week and we'll see how I feel." This woman refuses to let this thing get the better of her, and I think she's going to follow her trip up with a series of plays.
I don't know about you, but if someone planning on radiation treatment for a condition as serious as cancer can be thinking about the plays she see in a few weeks and in may, then perhaps we she all realize that life is too short worrying about things we can't change. Smile. Life is short, live it don't waste is waiting for death.
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My Site
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Rednivek
Member # 1148
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posted September 12, 2002 19:01
Happiness is a perspective, not a situation.
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Rednivek - Detroit, Michigan, USA
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TheAnnoyedCockroach
SuperBlabberMouth!
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posted September 12, 2002 20:07
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
Wow. I want to thank everyone so far for being so brutally honest. I must say, I'm astonished to find that none of you believe in happiness as a permanent state of being. It especially saddens me that the "youngsters" like Roach have already become resigned to that. When I was 17, I thought anything was possible. I can't help wondering if this is a symptom of the times we live in?
I also wonder if a random sampling of the population would yield the same results, or are we "geeks" and geek wannabes predisposed to this way of thinking. Maybe it does have something to do with intelligence, as was mentioned earlier???
I apologize for the depressing tone here. Where's Spike when you need him? or Spungo? Sky?
Well... I'm sorry if I've brought you down a bit, but please, think of it this way.
I believe that I will never achieve true happiness on Earth because I belive I'm missing something. In fact, I believe everybody's missing something. And I believe that we won't find this something 'till we die. Me being religious, my something is God. I won't ever find any true happiness here, but I can sure try to get as close as I can.
I've not given up on anything yet. Like you said, I'm still young, so my views most likely will change with time. The only thing that won't change is that whole belief thing I wrote right up there.
Just another thought from yours truly.
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Mosh! Mosh for your suppers!
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Xanthine
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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posted September 12, 2002 22:13
quote:
Originally posted by GameMaster:
I keep few close quite on purpose, but my close friends (the ones that I do have) are closer than family... My biggest problem is that I tend to take on their worries, as my life is admittedly a fairly easy path to walk. To be honest, my only deep gripes come from the seperation I have with the world. The most important thing in my life is making the people that I care about as happy and satisfied as I can. I would give my life for anyone, but I'd give my soul if it would help them.
That's a noble philosophy to live by, but be very careful. You can burn yourself and other people pretty badly if you aren't. Just a lesson I learned the hard way.
I also have a missing piece. I find it when I go climbing. The problem is, I can't take it home with me. Whatever it is that's in the mountains, whatever it is that makes me so happy and fulfilled up there, has to stay there.
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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists
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BlueLaser
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posted September 12, 2002 23:02
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
I want to know if anyone out there is happy.
Hmm..being a Christian, my hopes are placed on the God up there. Biblically speaking, if we follow Christ and have that close walk with Him, our lives will be fulfilled. Though we might not live life in a perpetual state of happiness coz there are times when unhappy events get into your life and you can't control it (like lost of your loved ones....failing an exam), but i believe and have practised the past 4 years (at least) as a committed christian that i know that i can put all my trust and worries on the Creator God coz of what He has said:
"For i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to help you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 19:11
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skylar
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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posted September 13, 2002 06:36
quoting snupy:
I apologize for the depressing tone here. Where's Spike when you need him? or Spungo? Sky?
heeere! This isn't really that depressing a subject, you know. Happiness is overrated, by which I mean that people seem to think that because everything isn't perfect for them, life isn't 'complete'. I think there's no such thing as true contentment in life, because the whole point of being alive is to keep questing... to keep looking for the unattainable, which I believe, like some others, is what you will finally get when you die...
But for now, I revel in the fact that I don't have all the answers, and there are some truly shitty questions. The point is, I keep looking for the answers, and that's the 'happiest' aspect of life.
sky
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spungo
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted September 13, 2002 07:21
Hm. I guess I should admit to being in the Colonel's boot-camp, so to speak - another hapless sailor on the capricious sea that is seratonin.
Paradoxically I'm loathe to shed this sedation - this enveloping numbness. I watch the 'stable' and realise that part of me really wouldn't want to be one of them - as if there's something unwhole about them.
In a way, depression is enlightenment - it's just a huge shame it has to piss you off all the time.
I guess the only conclusion is that there is no universal answer - you just have to find whatever works for you - whatever alleviates your own emotional Sword of Damacles.
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GMx
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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posted September 13, 2002 07:31
Yay! Spungo, you're back! I thought all the abuse ![[Wink]](wink.gif) lately had scared you off. I take medication to maintain my seratonin level, but I notice that it kind of gives you a "I don't give a shit" attitude after a while. Maybe that's a good thing. I've also noticed I'm not as creative in some areas that I used to be. Unlike other people, I'm afraid to go off the meds because I just get into too much trouble. It's a trade-off, just like everything in life.
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Janeway
Assimilated
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posted September 13, 2002 08:01
Ah, seratonin. One chemical that my brain doesn't produce enough of--thankfully, hypericum perforatum takes care of that. As far as happiness is concerned, there are occasions: when my little niece hugs me and says "I wuv you"; graduation day when the shackles of school finally fell away; times when I solve a particularly vexing programming problem; reading a really good book; spending time with my pets (my sweet little fishies and my wonderful keeshonds); finding a rare collectible at a thrift store for a quarter; finishing a project that's been a long-time in the making (such as my first book); quality time with the family; getting money (I know, it can't buy happiness, but it makes a nice down payment!); looking up at the moon, knowing we've been there; getting my wisdom teeth removed (I don't know what they fed into my veins but it was some good stuff); being at the skating rink on a Saturday night, lights flashing, music blaring, the floor zooming by under your feet, skating away to the sounds of Shakira or Linkin Park.
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Janeway--
Author, Artist, and Dreamer Extraordinaire
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maxomai
Alpha Geek
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posted September 13, 2002 08:20
quote:
Originally posted by BlueLaser:
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
I want to know if anyone out there is happy.
Hmm..being a Christian, my hopes are placed on the God up there. Biblically speaking, if we follow Christ and have that close walk with Him, our lives will be fulfilled.
A slightly different perspective: speaking as a Thelemite, (a substantial par of) our inheritance as fragments of God is happiness. The fact that we're grounded in the material world (we are, after all, ensouled bodies) means that things aren't going to be perfect. This doesn't mean we should stop striving.
"Ye shall gather goods and store of women and spices; ye shall wear rich jewels; ye shall exceed the nations of the earth in spendour & pride; but always in the love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy. I charge you earnestly to come before me in a single robe, and covered with a rich headdress. I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendour within you: come unto me!" AL I:61
"Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you!" AL I:63
There is help & hope in other spells. Wisdom says: be strong! Then canst thou bear more joy. Be not animal; refine thy rapture! If thou drink, drink by the eight and ninety rules of art: if thou love, exceed by delicacy; and if thou do aught joyous, let there be subtlety therein! But exceed! exceed! AL II:70f
Hope this helps.
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"Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon the earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge as Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms." -Liber AL III:17
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Tyler Durden
Highlie
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posted September 13, 2002 08:48
Happiness is a warm gun
Happiness is a warm gun mama
When I hold you in my arms
And I feel my finger on your trigger
I know nobody can do me no harm
-- Jack's NRA Sticker
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that's it sir, you're leaving...the crackle of pig skin...the dust and the screaming...the yuppies networking
the panic...the vomit...the panic...the vomit
god loves his children...god loves his children...yeah
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cheezi git
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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posted September 13, 2002 09:03
people keep talking about *happiness" and i'm not sure what they mean. i think a lot of unhappiness comes from unrealistic expectations. i think that some people who are unhappy can change their outlook on life, and feel better for it. not that i would ever say to anyone *pull your socks up* since this is probably the worst thing you can say to someone who is down.
i used to be pretty down, but i have tried to change my perspective on life, and appreciate the small things of life. i find it helps just smelling the good smell of food, or laughing at someone's joke. it might not be the most important thing in the world, but often if you try to *leave your mark on the world* you only end up worse off. often perfectionists are the most prone to depression. the people who don't give a fuck, and do a bad job are often happy, and what is more important (and most galling) they are often seen by others to be doing a good job. it might be old but:
it's not what you do, it's the way that you do it
is still as true as it always was.
positive people give off positive vibes, and this rubs off on other people.
if you try too hard, you often end exasperated, and then you fail. as the old tao story goes:
there was a town with a market place. one day a large bull was found in the centre of the square. no matter what anyone did, the bull refused to let people go by, and it was so big and fierce that no one was able to move it. all morning people tried to move the bull but to no avail. then a tao master arrived with his cart. instead of trying to move the bull, e just took a different route via another street. soon everyone did the same, and eventually the bull got bored and wandered off to its field again.
anyway enough of this happy hippy shi, i'm off to get pissed.
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there were so many stains on the road. squashed miss mitten-shaped stains in the universe. squashed frog-shaped stains in the universe. squashed crows that tried to eat the squashed frog-shaped stains in the universe. squashed dogs...
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snupy
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted September 13, 2002 21:32
quote:
Originally posted by spungo:
Paradoxically I'm loathe to shed this sedation - this enveloping numbness. I watch the 'stable' and realise that part of me really wouldn't want to be one of them - as if there's something unwhole about them.
I know what you mean-when I'm in a particularly low period, I almost look forward to coming home, curling up with a sad movie or music and just feeling crappy. It's what I know-it's familiar and comforting in a twisted sort of way.
I guess the only conclusion is that there is no universal answer - you just have to find whatever works for you - whatever alleviates your own emotional Sword of Damacles.
...time to do a google search for that one ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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neotatsu
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted September 14, 2002 00:18
Emotion. A subject which I avoid in my own thoughts as much as I can. I spent my childhood being blissfully ignorant of life, and enjoying playing with friends and being extremely imaginative, and spending as much time as I could on computers and playing games because I didn't have my own computer untill I was 12, and that was a family computer. But, as with all things, that eventually came to an end. I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but it was pretty much an over night change. I woke up one morning and went to school, and I remember sitting there during lunch listening to the other students around me talking about meaningless drivel and it suddenly struck me how incredibly different I was. I spent two years looking for somone like me, I was looking for a geek, any geek. Two years I looked and I never found one, I found endless masses of uneducated slobs, but not one single intelligent lifeform. One day, about two years ago, I pretty much gave up. I stopped being able to concentrate on anything, nothing I used to find fun really seemed very interesting anymore. I gave up on humanity, and I couldn't stand being around the 'happy shiny people' anymore. So I retreated my emotions, and most people let me be, everyone saw me as emotionless and dumped their problems on me. After a year I stopped listening to other peoples problems, and just started telling people who were using me as an emotional punching bag to fuck off. Last year I moved to a new city, so I started searching again, just one geek was all I really wanted to find, I felt like I was missing somthing, and in my mind that was it, someone 'like me'. It got worse. In this area there is no ethnic diversity, it's 90% preppy white, 8% white skaters and the other 2% are random nationalities of the previous two categories. After the first quarter of school I gave up again. My grades went into another slump. Up untill then I used video games and books to retreat, I could lose myself in a book, I can picture it in my head, which is why I always say the book is better than the movie, but it stopped working, I stopped being able to let myself forget just how depressing my suroundings are. As a result I wound up in a program that sends me to college and it's payed for by the highschool. The general idea was to get me away from the 'happy shiny preppy people' of the highschool and into the college where there are some 'more mature people'. Wrong again, it's full of just-graduated highschool students, just as annoying as the highschool, only worse. It's a community college, which means it's full of the 'less gifted' students. I turned to the net. I found GC, which I beleive to be fate, because I had decided the site I checked just before this one to be the last one I'd try because my class was about to start and I'd already been searching for a while. Well, the teacher came in and said that class would be postponed another 10 minutes, so I checked out this site, which of course I'm eternally glad I did.
Things still sucked, but at least I knew there were people at least slightly similar to me out there. Then TT posted about her emotions and her grades, etc, and I tried to e-mail her about it because my response was long and I was new to the boards, and I just wanted to tell her she wasn't alone in the way she felt, etc, but in the end wound up having to post it instead because of problems with her e-mail address. Well, we started chatting, and were both rather astonished at the way things worked out. That 'somone like me' is her. Just talking to her made me feel content at first, but after a little while I fell in love with her. Knowing that she exists makes me feel a little better, knowing she loves me makes me feel good, and talking to her whether on the phone or on the internet, even an e-mail or letter from her makes me increddibly happy, though only for a short while. The reason why Wendy is restricted from her computer is because I went down there to spend time with her on her birthday. I find that when I'm near her very nearly nothing can keep me from smiling, and holding her in my arms for even just a second makes me feel more joy than I felt my entire life up untill I met her combined.
Sorry for the long text block.. The point is that hapiness is different for everyone. You just have to find what it is in your life that your missing. For some it's love, for some it's friendship, for some it's even rock-climbing.
Now that I feel increddibly shitty I just can't wait untill tomorrow night, I get to see Wendy again, though only for three hours. ![[Happytears]](graemlins/happytears.gif)
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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!
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Shawn Shah
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posted September 14, 2002 09:53
quote:
Originally posted by neotatsu:
I find that when I'm near her very nearly nothing can keep me from smiling, and holding her in my arms for even just a second makes me feel more joy than I felt my entire life up untill I met her combined.
Sorry for the long text block.. The point is that hapiness is different for everyone. You just have to find what it is in your life that your missing. For some it's love, for some it's friendship, for some it's even rock-climbing.
Great Post ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
I don't want to sound cynical but be careful about equating happiness with someone elses. I did that with my last girlfriend. I loved being near her, and filled me with happiness. But I could not make her happy, she needed something else to complete her. Because I could not make her happy or content, just peaceful, I became very depressed. And when I got depressed I took my negative emotions on her. Now she does want to speak or see me ever again ![[Frown]](frown.gif) So I want you to be careful and look hard at what you are doing. Try not to make the mistake I made and I hope that your relationship works out.
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snupy
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted September 14, 2002 12:06
quote:
Originally posted by skylar:
quoting snupy:
I apologize for the depressing tone here. Where's Spike when you need him? or Spungo? Sky?
heeere! This isn't really that depressing a subject, you know. Happiness is overrated, by which I mean that people seem to think that because everything isn't perfect for them, life isn't 'complete'. I think there's no such thing as true contentment in life, because the whole point of being alive is to keep questing... to keep looking for the unattainable, which I believe, like some others, is what you will finally get when you die...[/b]
I believe what you get when you die is a pile of ashes similar to an overturned ashtray and nothing more...but that's just me.
[b]But for now, I revel in the fact that I don't have all the answers, and there are some truly shitty questions. The point is, I keep looking for the answers, and that's the 'happiest' aspect of life.
sky
Hmm.. I'm surprised, Sky...you strike me as a very happy person, full of life, so I expected some answers from you. More hopeful than most, though. Thanks.
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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family
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snupy
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted September 14, 2002 12:14
>>Happiness is overrated, by which I mean that people seem to think that because everything isn't perfect for them, life isn't 'complete'. I think there's no such thing as true contentment...
I dont expect everything to be perfect-that's not possible. What I do expect-for MY life to be complete-is love, passion and intimacy. There's a lot I can live without, but not that.
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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family
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skylar
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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posted September 15, 2002 04:46
I wasn't sure how to reply to this thread without sounding like a miserable bugger... which is completely misleading. I am a pretty chirpy person in general. If happiness is feeling you have place in the world, and places to go in the world, then I'm happier than most people I know. It's just sometimes there are people I miss, or feelings I miss, and that makes me a little blue. That's all. If happiness is having a greater amount of kazzam than blech, then I'm happy. So it is possible
sky
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"arm, aber geeky"
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snupy
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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posted September 15, 2002 09:13
quote:
Originally posted by skylar:
. If happiness is having a greater amount of kazzam than blech, then I'm happy. So it is possible
sky
I love that answer, sky!!!! Well said.
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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family
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skylar
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
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posted September 15, 2002 14:59
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) Thankee kindly...
sky
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"arm, aber geeky"
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neotatsu
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posted September 15, 2002 15:18
quote:
Originally posted by Shawn Shah:
Great Post
I don't want to sound cynical but be careful about equating happiness with someone elses. I did that with my last girlfriend. I loved being near her, and filled me with happiness. But I could not make her happy, she needed something else to complete her. Because I could not make her happy or content, just peaceful, I became very depressed. And when I got depressed I took my negative emotions on her. Now she does want to speak or see me ever again So I want you to be careful and look hard at what you are doing. Try not to make the mistake I made and I hope that your relationship works out.
The difference is, like I said, everyone needs to find what makes them happy for themselves. I'm just saying that as of right now, she's what makes me happy. I'm not making any insinuations as to whether I make her happy or not, and frankly I don't care if *I* am what makes her happy, as long as she's happy is what matters to me. We're in love, and that's *my* happiness, whether it's her source of joy is up to her.
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TheAnnoyedCockroach
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posted September 15, 2002 19:48
I have to agree with Snupy....
That was an excellent explaination of things, Skylar. Made a lot more sense than what I posted, and said what I was trying to.
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Mosh! Mosh for your suppers!
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Xanthine
Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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posted September 15, 2002 20:02
quote:
Originally posted by Shawn Shah:
But I could not make her happy, she needed something else to complete her. Because I could not make her happy or content, just peaceful, I became very depressed. [/QB]
May I ask what is so depressing about being able to give someone else peace? God knows I could use some. That's part of why I climb. Something about the glaciers just calms me down...
Sorry, just a restless spirit talking.
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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists
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Shawn Shah
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posted September 16, 2002 02:41
Well I hope this post will satisfy both of your comments and will not hurt my ex- by going into too much detail or even the full story of what happened. She does come to this site since I showed her the joy of TTBs over three years old. Anyways that is part of the past I rather not talk about. It is strange that good memories hurt more than bad memories. Sorry to for the tangent, but the repy to Xanthine
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
quote:
Originally posted by Shawn Shah:
But I could not make her happy, she needed something else to complete her. Because I could not make her happy or content, just peaceful, I became very depressed.
May I ask what is so depressing about being able to give someone else peace? God knows I could use some. That's part of why I climb. Something about the glaciers just calms me down...
Sorry, just a restless spirit talking.[/QB]
Well, my father was not emotional supportive or positive when I was growing. So I wanted to be the opposite of my father, which to my warped logic (very poor GRE analytical score) I wanted to make other women happy. So what I wanted for my girlfriend is pure joy, bliss, and happiness. My ex-girlfriend is very beautiful I cannot help but staring, and when she smiles my heart melts. I wanted to her to smile and be gay, and for her that means riding her bike. I felt like I failed at one of the most important goals I ever made for myself, because I was not a source that would make her happy. So I lost hope and self-confidence. You might ask why didn't I just join her, well I am slightly overweight and I don't ride very well. I did not want to be a burden, because one of the reasons why she likes bike is the freedom for attachments and responsibilities. I would just be dead-weight for her. So the point is I enjoy giving peace, love, and respect to my friends, but for my love, I want to give joy and happiness. I could not do that her my ex.
quote:
Originally posted by neotatsu:
The difference is, like I said, everyone needs to find what makes them happy for themselves. I'm just saying that as of right now, she's what makes me happy. I'm not making any insinuations as to whether I make her happy or not, and frankly I don't care if *I* am what makes her happy, as long as she's happy is what matters to me. We're in love, and that's *my* happiness, whether it's her source of joy is up to her.
Well I am glad that you don't have the same outlook/goals as I did. I just wanted to warn someone else about the mistake I made, sorry for shooting from the hip. I am glad that both of you are in love, and I wish the best for you both.
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