homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums!


  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums!   » The Archives   » The Big Archives   » Long live chivalry (Page 2)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!  
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2 
 
Author Topic: Long live chivalry
MacintoshGeek
Geek
Member # 960

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 01, 2003 11:59      Profile for MacintoshGeek   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I view chivalry as an act of kindness and respect. I would want that given to me as well, so why not put a smile in a someone's heart by being kind.

As for paying, if we both pay, we can go out more often! [Smile]

I actually had one date insist on paying her way so she didn't feel obligated to sleep with me. We had a long conversation that dinner about respect and expectations.

Posts: 130 | From: Beaverton, OR | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted May 01, 2003 12:16      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
weensicka: 6" heels, eh? Wow, that's high up - you could probably make me feel short [Smile] . I open (and even close depending on her) doors for any time, but I would most especially do so for that case. I think my ~girlfriend (still not sure if I can use that title) is coming to accept this idea, though she does appear to be a rather independent person.

uilleann: What are you finding tricky about Women are just people and men are just people. It's as simple as that. And we should all just be nice to each other.? I trust is it the first sentence, not the rest? I do believe we should be nice to everyone, though it is very hard to do. In common practice, men will probably be nicer to women, just because we value their presence more than our fellow men [Wink] . Then again, there's no reason that a man cannot do a decent thing for his friend or so on. My friend and I kind of battled over who should go through first, and I eventually caved, as he was holding the door [Smile] .

Hmm, I should be meeting her in a few minutes, so I will perhaps do a little more research...

:wq

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted May 01, 2003 17:15            Edit/Delete Post 
the first. and dont worry abot it, i did misunderstand it i tihkn (and got it mxed p with somrthn eelse), ut its still just a fucked up piece of my head and it matters not.
IP: Logged
DrPepper
Geek
Member # 1741

Member Rated:
5
Icon 12 posted May 02, 2003 01:52      Profile for DrPepper     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wait wait, I'm confused...so when you open the door for someone a slap on the bottom is still customary, right?
Posts: 110 | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sinn
Mini Geek
Member # 2111

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 07:04      Profile for Sinn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by weensicka:
I was visiting a friend in Texas and he kept opening the door and stuff, which really confused me. We don't do that a lot in the Northeast, nor particularly in cities like Boston and NYC where I spend a lot of time. I wouldn't say we are rude; we don't think of it.

I don't know. I've lived in New York (upstate) for the last 6 years. Never in my life have I met as many rude and stupid people. Don't get me wrong, there are still many nice people, just far fewer than any place else in the US that I have lived.

Just for a little background I've lived in California, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Colorado, and Arizona. And have been to everyplace between them.

--------------------
Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.

Posts: 64 | From: Kerhonkson, NY | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
weensicka
Geek
Member # 1436

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 09:00      Profile for weensicka   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Sinn:
[QUOTE]I don't know. I've lived in New York (upstate) for the last 6 years. Never in my life have I met as many rude and stupid people. Don't get me wrong, there are still many nice people, just far fewer than any place else in the US that I have lived.

Oh, we have plenty of *stupid* people. I never said we didn't have those... [Smile] I attempt to educate many of them with painful results.

But, I guess I'd have to ask for some examples of rudeness. Like I said, I don't expect door holding or people saying hi, etc. So I don't think people are rude for not doing it. In fact, here it's rude when people *do* talk to you unsolicited. We tend to be a suspicious lot.

--------------------
Is there any tea on this spaceship?

Posts: 182 | From: oh, just somewhere random | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
weensicka
Geek
Member # 1436

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 09:06      Profile for weensicka   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
[QUOTE]Originally posted by uilleann:
As far as clothes go, that's one reason for disliking convoluted female attire, in that it's so damned impractical.

Impractical for whom? You don't have to wear six-inch heels. Not to mention a host of other uncomfortable "fashion" accessories. Okay, okay, for that matter, neither do I, but I do because I am admittedly a victim of an imagist culture. That and I'm *impossible* to beat at strip poker. [Wink]

--------------------
Is there any tea on this spaceship?

Posts: 182 | From: oh, just somewhere random | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
weensicka
Geek
Member # 1436

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 09:13      Profile for weensicka   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
weensicka: 6" heels, eh? Wow, that's high up - you could probably make me feel short [Smile]

Maybe, that would depend on how tall you are. [Smile] I'm 5'6" in my stocking feet and I don't wear such high heels all the time. They are impractical and they hurt, but sometimes are right for an occasion. I do usually wear some kind of heeled shoe to teach though, because height and presence (however unreasonable) do send a message about authority. I have a lot of guys in my classes and I like to be able to look them in the eye when they argue grades with me.

This might all sound ridiculous to a lot of you, but I've taken many seminars in teaching presentation and women do have an unfair position a lot of times when establishing authority in a classroom. Especially since I teach mostly college freshmen who are only a few years younger than me.

--------------------
Is there any tea on this spaceship?

Posts: 182 | From: oh, just somewhere random | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 11:25      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Y'know, I'm 5'6" too and I've never had a problem looking at people taller than me in the eye. My dad's 6' and I've been able to stare him down while I was sitting on the floor and he was standing over me. But I'm also a little sh*t when I want to be so maybe that has something to do with...

I don't wear heels. I lack the balance.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
BellaDonna
Geek
Member # 2123

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 11:37      Profile for BellaDonna     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Amazingly I'm 5'6" as well, and I feel really short if I wear shoes with no heel. I work with a lot of men who are all taller than me, so I agree with weensicka about the whole authority thing. Though I've never worn 6" heels before. 4" is pushing it for me. I tend to stick around 2". See my husband is 5'6" as well and anything over 2" you can see a noticable difference. [ohwell] Thankfully I started dance at a young age and at around 10 we wore 2" heeled tap shoes, so balance is not an issue.

--------------------
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
- Albert Einstein

Posts: 144 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
weensicka
Geek
Member # 1436

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 11:55      Profile for weensicka   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Y'know, I'm 5'6" too and I've never had a problem looking at people taller than me in the eye. My dad's 6' and I've been able to stare him down while I was sitting on the floor and he was standing over me. But I'm also a little sh*t when I want to be so maybe that has something to do with...

The same goes for me and my dad (who's 6'2"), but it might be because he's my *dad* and I'm an only child, a princess, etc. It's a different feeling to walk into a room of 20 students, most of whom are guys (some even my age), who tend to be a little confrontational. Maybe height has nothing to do with it, but I've had many discussions with a colleague of mine and he's never had any problems with attitude in the classroom. He chalks it up to being "big and hairy"; he's a 6'5", 230lb, ex-teamster and I can see where he'd be more intimidating than moi. [Smile]

For the record, I don't wear 6" heels all the time. I have pair of boots that are that height and the previous heels I mentioned were Nordstrom stillettos that I made the *huge* mistake of buying and wearing because they killed me. I flung them into the Atlantic and haven't thought of them since. I will take a pair of Vans or Chucks any day of the week. [Wink]

Posts: 182 | From: oh, just somewhere random | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 12:09      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm the oldest of four. Not so much the princess as the ringleader. [evil]

I TA freshman chemistry. They started respecting me when they realized that a) I really can teach and b) I can and will kick them out if they don't behave. That and I stand while they sit so I'm "above" them anyways. It also helps that I look jaded and tired enough to be a graduate student. For some reason that generates more respect than being a mere upperclassman. [Confused]

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 13:00      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hmm, I'm 5' 10", though I do slouch a bit, and for quite awhile, until the last bit of high school, I've nearly always been short, so I kind of had that mindset in me. I don't often look down towards people, though it can sometimes be an interesting thing. I am taller than some of my students, but they are also usually sitting, and I also sometimes sit with them, as my thing is group sessions. I had some jerks in the earlier years, but nowadays I've been getting women who actually have an interest in doing well. I was so happy with the fact that my students gave me a gift basket at the end of the semester to thank me for my help (having an adult student was probably the main cause of this).

Oh, and the beard helps a good bit. Without it, I look almost 10 years younger. Many people here think I'm older than I am, which is such a pleasant change. Others believe I'm a full-time employee in the IT Dept, which I almost am by hours, by a far cry from it by pay - and are surprised to learn that I'm a full-time undergrad. It also helps how I carry on [Smile] .

Time for class, otherwise, I could probably take up more space with redundant info [Smile] .

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tut-an-Geek

SuperFan!
Member # 1234

Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 13:23      Profile for Tut-an-Geek   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't think height has everything at all to do with authority. My math teacher is seriously less than five feet tall, and more than a bit extra wide. She's not intimidating, but clearly has command over the class.
She looks like yoda actually kinda.... maybe it's the jedi powers? [Smile] (Working your calculator is not, fail you I shall!)

Posts: 3764 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 18:24      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Xanthine wrote:
I don't wear heels. I lack the balance.

You don't have the balance to wear heels, yet you climb mountains? [Confused]

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 02, 2003 19:06      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't climb on my tiptoes. Well, okay, sometimes on frontpoints, but that's not the same.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Grey_girl

Member # 2172

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted May 09, 2003 08:41      Profile for Grey_girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't think the problem with heels is necessarily that they are heels but with the shoe itself. If it's a pair of stilettos, kiss balance goodbye. I have a pair of boots with a chunky heel that I can wear anytime without difficulty. I remember my friend saying to me "You're going to buy those??" when I tried them on in the store (I never, ever wear heels). But they are stable and comfy. In addition, as has already been mentioned, I too like the height advantage, especially when I teach. I was a psych major in college and read the research, so I know objectively that height makes a difference in authority.

Getting back to the original topic of the thread... I often joke that chivalry isn't dead. It's just in a coma. Either that or it goes into an attack in the North East and shuts down. I've traveled around the US, and it's not like NY in other places. As a result, when I'm home, I'm always pleasantly surprised when a car door is opened for me or even more so, when a guy helps me on with my coat. That one always gets me. Instant favorable impression of the guy.

I self-describe as a feminist, but I don't think a guy insults my ability to do for myself (or any silly notion like that) when acting in ways we're calling chivalrous. It's just plain nice. Shows they were raised with manners. And that gets points from me everytime.

Grey

PS: My son started holding doors for people at 4 years old. He got a kick out of doing it, and insisted on doing so. At 14, he still does.

Posts: 764 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
evilbibo
Discontinued


Icon 1 posted May 09, 2003 08:53            Edit/Delete Post 
The talk about heels reminds me of a story that a woman I know wrote a few years ago, here's a some of it

.......The scene: Any woman, on any night, at any bar. She's dressed to kill and she knows it; she relishes the stares that follow as she sashays about on the key to her slinky confidence, a massive pair of dangerously sexy platforms. She exudes tallness, poise, diva attitude to spare.


And then it happens.


Midway through her descent on the stairs, she doesn't compensate for the enormous amount of heel, catches the stair and tumbles headfirst down the entire flight. Her aura destroyed she limps away, the culprit of her humiliation in hand.


This story rings a familiar, horribly embarrassing chord with every woman who's ever worn dangerous shoes. Blame it on the Spice Girls for first breaking the "shoes so high your nose bleeds" look, but, like it or not, footwear these days is getting bigger, badder, and becoming a serious threat to the wearer's physical health..............

..And remember, friends don't let friends drink and wear 8-inch heels. Your next pair of shoes could be killer....

Click here for full story

IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2 
 
  New Poll   Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2018 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam