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Author Topic: I want to tell you I like you! Is that difficult???
nemesis
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Icon 1 posted November 06, 2003 23:00      Profile for nemesis     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I want to hit my stupid head on the wall... well, I have done that so many times by now. Why is it so hard to come out that three words to the person? It seems like the entire world already knows I like him except him. I feel like my lips are sealed every time I try to tell him how I feel. And every time I miss a chance, I go home and yell at myself. I don't need the entire world to know that (well, you guys are part of the world), I just want him to know!!! I really wish I could do it... I need GUTs!!!
Posts: 33 | From: Santa Monica, CA USA | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted November 06, 2003 23:40      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay! First, stop beating yourself up. You're not encountering anything that a "whole buncha" people havn't encountered before. Telling someone that you're interested in them is hard.. HARD! I've missed oppourtunities myself.

Now, if we go by logical anding...

If you tell him + he shares your feelings = 1
If you tell him + he doesn't share your feelings = 0
If you don't tell him + he shares your feelings = 0
If you don't tell him + he doesn't share your feelings = 0

Note that there arn't any negative numbers in that chart! That means you really can't lose, that is, you can't end up in any situation lesser then what you're in now. Also note that there is only 1 "1" on that chart. That means that NOTHING can happen unless you let him know how you feel! The bolded line above, of course, is the worst possible outcome. Don't let that happen! You literally have nothing to lose in this situation.

Now, if logic can't convince you to do it, then you'll need to use the nonlogical "just do it" techniquie. (Not to be confused with Nancy Regan's "Just Say No!" technique!) This involves the cessation of thought. Turn off all those voices in your brain that are telling you all the possible horrible outcomes. The easiest way is to just turn your brain off. Then you just walk over to him, smile, and say something like: "I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... I think I like you."

Don't beat yourself up for not being able to do it. Don't wait for "the perfect moment" because you'll just keep waiting and waiting and waiting (I know, I've been there). Just do it!

--------------------
"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


Posts: 2338 | From: Southeast Michigan, USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
unclefungus
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Icon 6 posted November 07, 2003 10:40      Profile for unclefungus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
"just do it" sounds like what I preach on alot of things. You gotta reach down and grab a [metaphorical] pair and git'r done!

--------------------
Professional software should not have dancing paperclips.

Posts: 613 | From: changes, right now it's Jacksonville or Fayetteville | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
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Icon 1 posted November 07, 2003 11:29      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I can't give any differant advice except just to do it. I've been there, as so many here have. I finally acted on it, and I got shot down... It hurt, at first. But I was over it faster than I could have tortured my-self waiting to have the "guts"... Being rejected was quite minimal in comparison to the stress of not being able to tell her. We're still friends, and I've not lost anything except all the time and energy I put into worrying about what she'd say.

Having said that, it is hard to get past it. Even after you know that you can't lose anything, and the most important thing to remember is that the more you agonize over it while your away from her, the more trouble you'll have when your near her. The times you find your self thinking "Geez, I missed another opertunity yesterday..." or "I should do it by saying '....'" will make it harder, causing this downward spiral of self-esteam. So, when you start thinking like that, go somewhere else, and do something else... STOP thinking about it (and don't think about pink elephants....). So shut off your mind, watch a movie, work on some code or other personal/school project when you get down on yourself. Then, just do.

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
MTB Babe
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Icon 12 posted November 07, 2003 13:32      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
To quote an earlier post made by TheFamousDruid :
...Its not the dumb things you did in your youth you regret, its the things you never did, the doors you never opened, the risks you never took.

I wish he knew how awesome a statement that is to me *sniff sniff*... [cry baby]

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Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

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d3m057h3n35
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Icon 1 posted November 07, 2003 14:33      Profile for d3m057h3n35     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I really wish I could do it... I need GUTs!!!

You mean Grand Unified Theories? Whatever for??? [Smile]

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Private i
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Icon 1 posted November 08, 2003 21:16      Profile for Private i     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, there's not much advice I can give you other than to just go ahead and do it. I've been there and it is really hard, just try to turn off your brain and stand beside your self. Expressing your feelings gets much easier with practice, I've found.
Posts: 65 | From: Ipswich MA | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
littlefish
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Icon 1 posted November 09, 2003 06:07      Profile for littlefish   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
You mean Grand Unified Theories? Whatever for???


<troll>
Only way to understand the workings of a womans mind!
</troll>

[Wink]

Posts: 2421 | From: That London | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
illuminatus
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Icon 1 posted November 09, 2003 20:57      Profile for illuminatus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it simply comes down to this:

you are afriad that he does not feel the same way and that he may possibly avoid your or something to that ilk if you do tell him

I have the same problem... it sux... [Frown]

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-illumina+us
http://illuminatus.oczombies.net/
I suck at life IRL

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GameMaster
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Icon 1 posted November 09, 2003 21:05      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I hate to point out other reasons, but not to mention that after you expose - if you do "get shot down" there will be the awkward time where you;ll both be second guessing what the other thinking... which in reality will be short lived if it happens at all.

I say that Nike in right "Just do it." Heh, this comming from me after some of my old threads. I suppose it's that hind-sight that helps me give other (relitivly) good advice... Heh, if only I could apply such prinicbles to my own life.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted November 09, 2003 22:25      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by unclefungus:
"just do it" sounds like what I preach on alot of things. You gotta reach down and grab a [metaphorical] pair and git'r done!

Or you could grab a literal pair, he'd probably catch on pretty fast. [Wink]

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted November 09, 2003 22:59      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by MTB Babe:
To quote an earlier post made by TheFamousDruid :
...Its not the dumb things you did in your youth you regret, its the things you never did, the doors you never opened, the risks you never took.

I wish he knew how awesome a statement that is to me *sniff sniff*... [cry baby]

We Druids are known for our wisdom. [Smile]
And our poor table-manners.
Oh, and that whole human-sacrifice thing (which was blown way out of proportion).

btw - still waiting for those photos MTB.

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Zim'et
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Icon 9 posted November 26, 2003 11:18      Profile for Zim'et         Edit/Delete Post 
I have had the same problem with a certain perfect someone for four years. Now we are pretty close friends and every time I see him it gets worse. I assumed that once I really got to know him the feelings would fade, but they haven't. I am getting closer to telling him though. I think that our relationship is at the point where even if he didn't share my feelings it would not change anything. Try really getting to know the person and the choice of what to do will become easier.

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3 2 1... Let's Jam

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defiant
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Icon 1 posted November 26, 2003 12:26      Profile for defiant     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The choice will be easier? After four years? Common now.
And believe me, if you tell him, it will change. Just think what you'd do if he'd go away and never talk to you again... [ohwell]

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magebard
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Icon 1 posted November 26, 2003 12:34      Profile for magebard     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Get to know the person long enough and what to do become quite clear. (eg, they get married and/or die, and you've got nothing left to do but move on)

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"I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks." - Winston Churchill

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GameMaster
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Icon 1 posted November 26, 2003 13:08      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by defiant:
The choice will be easier? After four years? Common now.
And believe me, if you tell him, it will change. Just think what you'd do if he'd go away and never talk to you again... [ohwell]

If the friendship can't stand the stress of love denied, then it was never strong enough to base a relationship off of first. Carpe Geekium!

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My Site

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Zim'et
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Icon 1 posted November 26, 2003 14:30      Profile for Zim'et         Edit/Delete Post 
I am aware that not every one will wait four years, and most people are not worth waiting four years for... but my message wasn't for this person to wait for four years, just wait and see if it is really what you want to do. Temporary crushes are not worth ruining a friendship for.

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3 2 1... Let's Jam

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted November 26, 2003 20:55      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hmm, I'm sort of thinking of both your situation, and my dear, wonderful Xanthine as I listen to:
http://tux-server/~tux/male-assrtd/Dave%20Matthews%20Band%20-%20Crush.mp3

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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Katie
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Icon 1 posted December 20, 2003 12:33      Profile for Katie   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
just tell him no regrets no reguard

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I am not the type of person to do shamless plugging,how dare you
http://freewebs.com/lordofmuffins

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unclefungus
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Icon 6 posted December 20, 2003 14:58      Profile for unclefungus   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'd of posted this earlier, but I had no interenet. so it's abit late, but some of you probably know what i'm going to say: "Reach down, grab a pair, and git'r done."

--------------------
Professional software should not have dancing paperclips.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted December 20, 2003 15:28      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by unclefungus:
I'd of posted this earlier, but I had no interenet. so it's abit late, but some of you probably know what i'm going to say: "Reach down, grab a pair, and git'r done."

Um, sorry to make this observation uncle, but you seem to spend a lot of time handling your 'pair'. [blush]

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 20, 2003 15:59      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
That's the pride of the military, mate. Be an Army of One! [Be a romantic couple of One :-P]

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted December 20, 2003 17:32      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
That's the pride of the military, mate. Be an Army of One! [Be a romantic couple of One :-P]

Ready ....

Aim ....

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted December 20, 2003 17:55      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
That's the pride of the military, mate. Be an Army of One! [Be a romantic couple of One :-P]

<imitate brother>Oh geez...</imitate brother>

Dman, I love you. 'Nuf said.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 20, 2003 20:46      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
[hearts]

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged


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