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Author Topic: Should I even bother?
Lumina Manson
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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 18:24      Profile for Lumina Manson   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Because of some certain people pulling out my flaws, I feel I should leave this site, but not without saying my peice. Anyone who's been to my site (and not vomitted) knows the whole story, but here's a rundown:
I am 18 years old and I live in Baldwin Park, CA, in a house with my parents, both of Mexican decent, little brother, and animals. I have post tramatic stress disorder among other things, and I do like being the center of attention. I am a liar, I admit that. I have the word Liar carved into my skin. I am involved in the Life Teen program in my church. I do not have a job. I did have some boyfriends in the past, including one who's name was Henry, but he called himself Kutin Kupo (his description was on the website) This name stems from the Final Fantasy series. Around the time I was Audrie, I was loosing Kutin. I put myself in sticky situations and hate being in them. I am clinically depressed and posting on this site was sort of an outlet for me. I don't expect any sympathy and I accept that there are people who are annoyed with me. I'm annoyed with myself.
I do wish that this was brought up in a more suble and kinder way, but what I have been doing was not kind so I deserve it. I feel sad that I will not be here anymore because I had called this site home for a while now, but I have over-sayed my welcome. I'm in the process now of cancelling my subscription and leaving this site so no one has to deal with this anymore.
I apologize to everyone I may have and did offend and I wish nothing but good things for Snaggy and Nitro as they continue to make this website home for hundreds of geeks. For the rest of you, whoever does hate me or feel indifferent, I still thank you for putting up with me for so long. And yes, this does hurt, but only because I made this hard for myself. So goodbye and good faith!
[Big Grin] [cry baby] [Razz] [hearts] [Confused] [Happytears] [ohwell] [tired]

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ThE CrEeP sHoW It's called therapy: go get some!

Posts: 487 | From: The rainbow room, USA (Baldwin Park) | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 19:09      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, the only positive thing I really have to say is "Thank you for your honesty." I tend to think there's a reasonable bit of truth to what you've said there, and so I will try to accept it as such. Frankly, I've grown really tired of your lying, chockful-of-drivel, off-the-wall posts, and will not actually be sorry to see you go. I don't appreciate attention seekers who prey on others for their own self-gratification, and I think most people here would agree with me. Maybe you had something decent in mind by subscribing, but you must have surely realized that almost no one in here wanted you around, and it's like a bully buying his way into a club (like some politicians [Wink] ). I hope you figure out what's going on in your life, and how to behave around others, without disgusting more people. Perhaps this way you will gain true friends, and not just play with people like they're your puppets (they don't like that, believe it or not). You have a long way before you can ever practice what you claim to preach though, and so I hope you really aren't a Youth Minister, or at least that you wear a really good mask in front of them.

I'm sure some people might say I've spent too much time writing to one that appears to be a troll, and *they* might be right, but I'll do it anyway. Let me finally say this: Don't ever come back and pull this crap with us again. We will find you out. Many of us had figured out awhile back, including myself. I actually was willing to give you a ghost of a chance in the beginning, as you weren't making wild-eyed posts, and thought you might have been trying to post as the "real you" without acknowledging the past. But you couldn't resist, and did it again, and so you see how the cycle goes. If you *ever* decide to come back in some way, shape, or form, you'd best explain yourself in an earnest matter, nearly as above, and ask for the community's forgiveness and understanding. Then, we might just do so, and you will be watched very carefully, though if you really try, you might just earn our trust. Do remember that trust is a very valuable thing, and once it is lost, it is nearly impossible to regain.

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9332 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jace Raven

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 19:23      Profile for Jace Raven         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Check your e-mail. [Wink]
Posts: 1791 | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged
-ct-
BlabberMouth, the Next Generation
Member # 209

Icon 14 posted April 02, 2004 19:26      Profile for -ct-   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
i dunno the whole story, so i can't comment much except to say "screw them who tell you crap", and stick around

i do find it hard to swallow the "post traumatic stress" part though, unless you've been in a /major/ natural disaster or a war or two (but then i haven't read the site so i dunno what or why you say that you have it)

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Things are always darkest... just before you pull your head out of your butt, void where prohibited, keep away from flame, surcharge(s) may apply.

www.harddriveHELL.com and demoniclemon.com

Posts: 1906 | From: nowhere, man | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Snaggy

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Icon 7 posted April 02, 2004 20:02      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In other news, a space has recently opened up in the SuperFan ClubHouse. We would love to have someone fill this position as soon as possible.

Anyone interested in subcribing, and becoming a beloved SuperFan, please report here.

[Smile]

Posts: 8111 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
Dr Cyclops
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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 20:44      Profile for Dr Cyclops   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
...but you must have surely realized that almost no one in hear wanted you around,...
I never got the impression that nobody wanted Lumina around, but I have been told by several people directly that I was'nt welcome.

quote:
Frankly, I've grown really tired of your lying, chockful-of-drivel, off-the-wall posts, and will not actually be sorry to see you go. I don't appreciate attention seekers who prey on others for their own self-gratification, and I think most people hear would agree with me.
If anybody deserves this speech, It is me.

I now suppose it's time for me to go...

*Dr. Cyclops signing off.*

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When the W'rkncacnter came, Pthia was killed, and Yrro in anger, flung the W'rkncacnter into the sun. The sun burned them, but they swam on its surface.

Posts: 499 | From: Upon the slab, Unbroken. | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 21:06      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
ct - you don't need to go through a war or natural disaster to end up with PTSD. All you need is one godawful experience. Medics, firefighters, and cops have to be on their guard for it. I do not have PTSD, but I have had acute stress and it isn't fun. It isn't fun at all. Fortunately, the acute version is easier to get over. Like a cold, it just goes away by itself.

Lumina - I was giving you the benefit of the doubt. I figured if you changed your nick you wanted a fresh start and, well, since we let Satan start over I figured we should let you. And for a while I thought that that was indeed what you wanted. But then you started sliding back into the Audrie Ryan bull crap and I started losing my patience. As you grow up and crawl out of your self-absorbed little shell you're going to notice that there's more than enough drama in reality. You don't need to add to it. I recommend you get some professional help. I don't know what of all of you posted is true. I'm not sure you even know what the truth is anymore, but I hope you figure it out. Many of the lies you've told are about the sorts of experiences most of us would give our right arms not to have. Some of them brought back memories of my own that I'd rather not have, and, having them, would rather just keep them in the shadows where they belong.

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And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jessycat

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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 22:11      Profile for Jessycat     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Lumina Manson:
Because of some certain people pulling out my flaws...

Lumina, no one is holding your flaws against you. We all have flaws; it's what makes us human, and sometimes even more likeable. We GCers honestly discuss our problems, our triumphs, and, most often, Our Stupid Lives, and generally receive an honest response. What has upset me, at least, is that you have not only been deceitful (which insults the intelligence of everyone on this forum), you have been emotionally manipulative as well (which insults the kindness and goodwill of everyone who gave you advice, sympathy and support.)

quote:
I feel sad that I will not be here anymore because I had called this site home for a while now
You have described this site (both here and in your online diary) as a home, a safe house, a refuge, a place where you could be crazy and be yourself. But you haven't been yourself, and while you may have taken refuge here, you have contaminated it for the rest of us. There is a big difference between a home where you feel comfortable enough to let go of your insecurities and express yourself freely, and this gross burlesque in which you have cast yourself in the leading role. We are not "fake...plastic disposable people" as your website claims. We are real people who have formed real relationships on this forum, relationships which we cherish.

quote:
I am clinically depressed and posting on this site was sort of an outlet for me.
And what fun it's been for us. [shake head]

Edit: Thought this Dubya clip was appropriate (QuickTime required):
Fool Me Once

Posts: 491 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
snupy
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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 23:02      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well said, Jessy

A portion of yesterday's entry in your online diary, Lumina:


"...It pisses me off because I'm really sensative and a lot of people just act without caring and they don't realize that other people are hurting because of them. People acting without regard for other people really piss me off."


YOU are the one who acts without regard to other people by fabricating lies to gain sympathy and play on people's emotions and good intent, as Jessy has said. You have also made a mockery of people with real illnesses.

The entries in your diary prove that the above post in this thread was complete bullshit(surprise, surprise), as you obviously feel you have done nothing wrong and that you are the victim here.


(see http://feysuicides.diaryland.com/onlinestabs.html)

The reason I started this whole thing was that I was sick to death of coming here and constantly having to see your drivel while trying to find the worthwhile posts. But what made me even sicker was the fact that there were still a few members who fell for your crap and wasted their precious energy responding to it and feeling badly for you. Maybe now GC will be an intelligent(well-most of the time!) forum again instead of the Lumina soap opera it had become.


Get help and lots of meds, kiddo.

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

Posts: 4269 | From: UK, via Chicago | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 23:07      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Lu, hate is a strong word. Even me, the 'mother-of-all troll-ass-kickers' does not hate you, but you either have serious mental health issues, or have way too much time on your hands. Which ever is the truth I couldn't care less. Once you get your shit together, feel free to come back.

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

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Icon 1 posted April 02, 2004 23:15      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:
A portion of yesterday's entry in your online diary, Lumina:
People acting without regard for other people really piss me off."

Yeah, they annoy me too. I hate being manipulated or watching others get manipulated.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Slurpy
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 01:48      Profile for Slurpy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Did anybody notice the date on her post?

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I must first reveal my personal bias in this discussion, since I worship at the 'First Church of PDF Really Sucks.'
-Bruce Tognazzini
http://thegeekgroup.org
Geek ID# 1162

Posts: 692 | From: Cincinnati, OH | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Callipygous
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 03:07      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes you should bother! Show some character and stick around Lu. What has happened has made it a lot more difficult, though not of course impossible, for you to lie here. If you put the effort that you previously invested in your rich fantasy existence here into the sort of thoughtful post you made above, you might find your time here more rewarding, and might find that your actual life might be more interesting to you and us than you currently imagine.

Remember we don't dislike you, only what you did, (and your your web site design!) Oh and one more thing - please don't ever start a thread like "Let's play celebrity" again anywhere ever!

But stick around!

--------------------
"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
snupy
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 07:25      Profile for snupy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
<<into the sort of thoughtful post you made above...


Read the diary, Cal-the post above was not sincere.

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"I just ordered an extra-long straw to avoid accidentally doing a sit-up"-Jay, Modern Family

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GMx

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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 13:29      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Lumina, several subtle and not so subtle hints were dropped so that you might change your behavior, but you didn't and you got smacked upside the head with the clue-by-four. So stop crying and move on.
Posts: 5848 | From: S-4, Area 51 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Flashfire
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 14:28      Profile for Flashfire   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by snupy:

Read the diary, Cal-the post above was not sincere.

Hrm, I don't know about anyone else, but the link in your post, Snupy, only gives me the "Diaryland Error Page".

Try this one instead. The entry you're referring to is 3 back, I believe.

--------------------
"No silicon heaven? That's absurd!
Where would all the calculators go?"
--Kryten, Red Dwarf
-------------------------------
My Web Comic: NSTA: Semper Vigilantis

Posts: 368 | From: State of Denial | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Callipygous
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 14:45      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Snupes I am not a good judge of character, and am always charitably predisposed to all females, because frankly you make life bearable. I prefer to be a mug, and be made a fool of, rather than be an emotionally dead cynic.

But with the above disclaimer my reading of the situation is this. You gave a devastatingly accurate, and extremely funny portrayal of L M in your post. I am no fan of hers, but for someone whose relationship with the forum was based on fantasy, she seems to realise that the game is up, and though she feels hurt and confused, and would like to pin the blame on someone else, she knows that it is all her own doing. Quite naturally being the person she is, she gives it some operatic drama, and a pretence of some self justification, but the diary entry and her post here are nonetheless 500% more honest than anything else she has written, and hence a leap forward for her. Sure she could be more honest, but it is a start, and I do not like the way everyone seems to be delighted in sticking it to her now after your lead, though I can't say that I noticed much antagonism to her before. So let's cut her a little slack, she's not a serial killer.

Given that she will find it hard to get anyone to believe anything much personal she posts now, unless it has an authentic ring of truth, it won't do her or us any harm if she stays here. If she posts any more stories about her personal life, no one will believe them unless she can justify them. Up to now her outlandish exploits have never had any convincing explanation, and she has never answered any of the questions about them put to her. She won't be able to get away with that any more. Running away is a poor option, though it would take some character to stay.

The invention she has shown in constructing her fantasies show that she is not stupid, and if she could apply that intelligence to her real life, she could go places and maybe grow.

That's why I say she should stick around, if she's got the guts to do so.

--------------------
"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Callipygous
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 15:42      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I guess what my previous post was saying Lu, is that if you want to change, why not experiment with this truth thing, and hang around, I don't think you will come to any harm. But if you want to stay as sweet as you are, run away, find another online community and tell them a lot of stories until they too have had enough. And so on. One thing's for sure, running away is easier.

The choice is yours.

--------------------
"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged
Ivan
Alpha Geek
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Icon 8 posted April 03, 2004 17:22      Profile for Ivan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I thought you said you were leaving, bitch.

[Mad] [Mad] [Mad]

Posts: 269 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ivan
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 17:26      Profile for Ivan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sorry guys, my link doesnt work. Anyway, just search for Lumina in teh directory, she's still there.

Again, sorry.

Posts: 269 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Flashfire
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 21:45      Profile for Flashfire   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ivan:
I thought you said you were leaving, bitch.

[Mad] [Mad] [Mad]

Woah, that's a little harsh, isn't it? I mean, what did she do to you, kill your dog?

I agree with Cal -- cut her some slack. She lied. Fine. That's not a nice thing to do; but does she deserve to be jeered out of the forum for it? I don't believe so.

It seems that the people screaming for Lumina's head on a platter are more upset that they were duped by the lies, rather than the simple fact that she lied. They're ashamed and upset to have been taken (understandable), but throwing so much invictive at her isn't going to help that.

Was I duped? Sure. I try to take everything with a grain (or pound) of salt, but sometimes I can be just as gullible. All I'm out, though, is a little bit of time and sympathy, of which I have lots. AFAIK, she never asked for money or any form of tangible assitance, so there isn't any real loss. Just a little bit of face, that's all.

--Flash, sorry to see anyone go

--------------------
"No silicon heaven? That's absurd!
Where would all the calculators go?"
--Kryten, Red Dwarf
-------------------------------
My Web Comic: NSTA: Semper Vigilantis

Posts: 368 | From: State of Denial | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Ivan
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Icon 1 posted April 03, 2004 22:22      Profile for Ivan   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Woah, that's a little harsh, isn't it? I mean, what did she do to you, kill your dog?"

maybe she did

i dont give a shit if she lied, i dont really care. it was just her general lack of relevancy and constant bitching. it was nerve grating. all i ever wanted to do was read and contribute to a thread w/o her moaning/lying/bitching interrupting it.

Posts: 269 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged
Cap'n Vic

Member # 1477

Icon 2 posted April 03, 2004 23:40      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ivan, shut your fucking hole. You have seven posts, 3 are in this thread, you have been here 2 weeks. How pissed could you be?

For all we know, you are Audrie/Lu the reincarnation

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(!) (T) = 8-D

Posts: 5471 | From: One of the drones from sector 7G | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged
csk

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Icon 1 posted April 04, 2004 07:45      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, here's a veritable hornet's nest. For what it's worth, here's my take on it all.

Lumina certainly has a lot to answer for. What she did as Audrie, what she did as Lumina, caused more than a few people to have their emotions messed with. I was a mere lurker throughout the whole Audrie bit, but not through the Lumina bit. And yes, I've become emotionally involved in the problems she's been describing recently.

But now the truth comes out. As much as Lumina has caused other people pain by her deceipt, I don't feel she deserved to be publically humiliated like she was. Perhaps someone could have had a quiet word, or PM to her, and things could have been different.

As for my own reactions, I feel sorry for her. I think Lumina would agree herself that she's sick, not that that excuses her from her actions. But surely our aim is to make certain behaviours unwelcome on this site, rather than people. OK, I'll admit that I've had a few run ins with people on this site. But I've tried to play the ball, not the man, as much as possible (while I'm on the subject, Dr Cyclops, I'm quite happy for you to stick around, but when you seem to be proud to be a self confessed troll, it makes life difficult. When you post meaningful stuff, which you do sometimes, I feel more comfortable having you around).

So my advice to Lumina, if you're reading this, is to stick with it here. Even if you tone it down a bit, and try and win people's trust and respect back slowly over time. And my fellow GCers, let's try not to be over hasty with the pitchforks and torches, fair enough?

--------------------
6 weeks to go!

Posts: 4455 | From: Sydney, Australia | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
SupportGoddess

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
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Icon 1 posted April 04, 2004 07:24      Profile for SupportGoddess   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well said, csk.

I do have to point out, though, that polite hints were dropped for quite a while. Calling someone on lying out in the open is not wrong, the lying is. I appreciate that Snupy had the balls to do it. She even did it as a rather pointed joke. The fact that Lumina continued to pretend not to get it was absolutely pathetic though.

Personally, I don't care if it stays or if it goes. I'm just glad we can all stop pretending not to know that Lumina et al. are the same person, and an attention-seeking compulsive liar to boot.

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"A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes."
-Gotthold Ephraim Lessing

Posts: 1148 | From: The Digital Temple | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged


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