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Author Topic: On the look out for a geeky girl
soulshine
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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 13:10      Profile for soulshine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm in the UK, and in to your normal geeky things.

I'm not going to spend ages writing stuff here, partly because it's better to actually talk to someone than read a forum post, and partly because I'm no good at writing about myself.

I'm a mass of contradictions [Smile] I'm a big fan of the internet... And films. And stuff.

I like doing mix CDs and buying records. I think ducks are funny.

Oh, and I'm 24.

If there's any geeky girls out there, feel free to drop me a line [Smile]

Posts: 76 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 13:38            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hum, define "normal geeky things", as I would be worried personally if all geeks could be so universally defined.
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soulshine
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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 13:55      Profile for soulshine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
This is very true! I'd say a love of computers, internet-y things, comics, cartoons and general appreciation of anything you'd like to consider 'geeky'. Except maths.

I've just not specified as it takes too long to list everything, and once you start making a list people may think you don't like whatever's been excluded (when in fact, things probably aren't there due to laziness on my part!).

And you're bound to miss things out! Fun, fun fun [Smile]

Posts: 76 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 14:13            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I wouldn't know. I'm an English nerd and most people here are North American geeks and the difference is quite painful at times.
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soulshine
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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 14:16      Profile for soulshine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Really? That's interesting, how do you mean?

I'd kind of assumed most things like that are kind of universal! Shows how much I know :/

Posts: 76 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 14:23      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Dude, take a look at the post directly below yours...
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uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 14:35            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I bore the living shit out of most geeks :) That's why I don't hang out in the IRC channel... It's mutual since I don't find geeks anywhere near as hobbyistic, nerdy or technical as I'd like. And besides, the official Geek Membership Club Badges are using Linux (old bandwagon) or Mac OS X (new bandwagon). I guess loving math will get you in (goo and FireSnake for example love math), too, but neither of us likes it even when we spell it properly (with the 's'). OK, I might if I was any good at it ;) Oddly, I posted a topic recently about the niftiest calculator app I've ever seen (sadly, PPC Macintosh only but I posted h0t p1x) and people mostly just moaned. D'oh. I thought the maths fans would all cheer! Just goes to show, I'm out of step with the place.

Bonus points in the chat if you speak Spanish; German speakers (like me, sort of kind of) will get called ein Bustenhalter by smeg ;-)

As a little example (shameful plug I know ;) I've been scheming up a design for a meta-CMS that would pretty much be able to build any site on the Internet (personal homesitem, blog, gallery, news, forum) with a lot of the freedom of hand-coded pages using a very small number of basic components that are about one line of code each -- unless I am mistaken it would be awesome. I am hoping that a certain geeky girl here (not in Britain though, nor single) will implement it for her site -- she has got to better at databases than I am (really bad!) -- but it's extremely hard to interest people in really cool stuff like this. And while there are plenty of geeky girls around, genuinely technically competent nerd girls are virtually purely theoretical (or mythical).

Depends what you want out of it all, really, if you're just here for a laugh and the odd insightful topic, that's fine. If you want to get deeply technical, worry. (And you need a Mac if you do ;)

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fs

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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 17:22      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
And besides, the official Geek Membership Club Badges are using Linux (old bandwagon) or Mac OS X (new bandwagon).

They get membership badges? I sold my soul to OpenBSD and all I got was wifi support that's about 2 years behind everyone else. [Frown]

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

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SilverBlade
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Icon 1 posted July 09, 2006 20:23      Profile for SilverBlade   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
Oddly, I posted a topic recently about the niftiest calculator app I've ever seen (sadly, PPC Macintosh only but I posted h0t p1x) and people mostly just moaned. D'oh. I thought the maths fans would all cheer! Just goes to show, I'm out of step with the place.

I thought the calculator was awesome! It would have been very useful back when I didn't completely reject calculus from my life.

I HATE math. Hate it hate it hate it.

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http://www.silver-blade.net

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uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 06:11            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've never tried doing calculus on it ... I don't suppose I still know how to do calculus ...

And heck, OpenBSD was the OS some of you were singing the praises of, but it just never seems to catch on. I've never used pure BSD so I don't know. I do wish EPOC was more well-known however.

But yes, simple choices like your OS can have interesting effects on your acceptance here and how seriously people take you. The scary part however is that Windows is tolerated far better than older Macs. I don't think anyone's ever complained at me for running Windows (which I only started doing about couple of years ago). I am not sure if that's an improvement or people have given up trying to fight religious holy wars against me. But then, other respectable members here run just Windows, I guess people are just getting used to it. I was one of the biggest anti-Windows zealots, but now my view is radically different in some respects.

Here's something else -- how many people here whose /.+friend|partner|spouse/ does not post here, is not registered here and clearly they did not find love here. (A certain snake is a rare exception) Too few women here? Too few men? Too few people? You're just not going to find someone special here, the odds are stacked against you. Or you'll find someone special and they're far too far away, be it only a state or three or an ocean apart.

I'm not sure I've ever seen any realistic advice yet on where to meet your preferred sex, but then, apparently that never works anyway. My personal hunch would be at a club or activity group for whatever you like getting up to, as long as it's something that humanity still recognises, or even ever recognised in the first place... There are plenty of things you can love that you can't do in a group environment or there are not enough people around for anyone to start such a group in your country anywhere)

And if you really only like one-to-one interaction and not groups like I do (you focus on each other instead of trying to split your attention many ways and showing favouritism for and against certain people, less overwhelming by far) then you're truly hosed even if the groups existed.

So you can but just keep getting up each day (or whatever you count for a "day" since I don't even know right now what hours constitute my "day") and hope that maybe fate will finally decide it's your turn. And just hope that you're actually emotionally ready for it by then...

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soulshine
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 10:07      Profile for soulshine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Uilleann, what you say about finding someone in a internet forum is pretty accurate I guess - but never say never!

One of my best friends I met through the internet - sure it's not always the best way to go about meeting people (especially if they turn out to be mental) but sometimes it does ok [Smile]

On saying that, I've never met any of my girlfriends on the net. But who knows what's round the corner...

(Not much, probably.)

Posts: 76 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 11:12            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I never said you'd fail to find friends, that's a lot more likely.

"/.+friend|partner|spouse/" was intended to include girlfriend or boyfriend in what it matches, since we don't have an adequate word for either and I felt like being obtuse. Of course, some really annoying women use "girlfriend" to mean "a friend who is a woman" which is completely ridiculous, almost as bad as the truly disparaging "bf" and "gf" which looks like then mean only enough to you that they're fit to be reduced to a lame abbreviation.

Shall I refer to other men as my boyfriends now? Think about it. How does a lesbian differentiate girlfriends from girlfriends?

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soulshine
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 11:41      Profile for soulshine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Uilleann: What you're saying about friends who are girls being called 'girlfriends' is spot on. Terribly annoying - and confusing! But mostly annoying.

I lived next door to a bloke once, and he insisted on calling all his friends-who-happened-to-be-girls 'girlfriends'. For a while I though he has some sort of harem going. Great days.

I find the word 'partner' pretty annoying, too. A lot of people use it, but it makes me retch. I tend to use 'girlfriend', but it gets to the point when that seems almost too casual a phrase. And I'm not going to start using 'the missus'.

I think when it gets to this serious point in a relationship, any self-respecting man uses the only sensible phrase left: 'my bitch'. [Wink]

Posts: 76 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 12:09            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hehe :P

Hm, yes, "partner" is annoying but ... indeed, what is the alternative? "lover" tends to make me think of flings in France and stuff, "partner" is on the other hand too sterile.

Men call female friends "girlfriends" too...? W-T-F? Maybe it made him feel better :)

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soulshine
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 14:05      Profile for soulshine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Exactly.

There needs to be a new word created that is more serious than 'girlfriend' but not over sentimental or trashy.

I don't particularly appreciate 'other half' either. At this rate it'll either be 'girlfriend' or 'wife'... Surely there's something in between!

Posts: 76 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Spiderman

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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 14:16      Profile for Spiderman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
While you can definitely meet great people here, I'd definitely avoid attempting to find a girl in this setting.

I mainly address your optimism expressed here: "On saying that, I've never met any of my girlfriends on the net. But who knows what's round the corner...".

If you find someone here, and they're in your immediate vicinity, more power to you. Otherwise, I highly discourage any type of long distance relationship.

Been there, done that, not good.

To be fair, it can be great while it lasts...just over a year in my case, but any such relationship that is started purely on an Internet basis is doomed I think (as opposed to meeting the person locally, and you/them moving for some reason - this being a situation that is actually more common than many believe). Unless you intend to just pick up and move, or have an excess of cash with which you intend to purchase frequent plane tickets. [Wink]

</fresh cynicism> [Razz]

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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

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uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 14:52            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Just over a year..? That long? wtf... I am worried that that much time has slipped by already, maybe it has.
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soulshine
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 14:56      Profile for soulshine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Spiderman:

I'm not as optimistic as my post makes out! I don't really expect to meet anyone through an internet forum, but it could happen. To be honest, I don't know why I even posted anything about geeky girls at all - maybe if you don't ask, you'll never know.

But you're right. People shouldn't rely solely on an internet forum or website as a means of meeting someone... However, I don't think they should exclude these things either. It could happen!

I spent three years seeing a girl who lived quite a long way away; we didn't meet through the internet, it was just good luck in a way. We're still the best of friends now [Smile]

It can be hard maintaining a relationship over such a long distance, however if it's worth it you make it work. At least it wasn't cross continent or anything! That's not something I'd relish.

You do sometimes find people who meet someone over the internet, but you very rarely hear that it works out. I wonder if that's the same with friendships, and why that happens?

Having said all this, I'd never discourage someone from having a long distance relationship - if you find someone you want to be with, I don't think you should let something like a few miles get between you [Smile]

Posts: 76 | From: North Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged
Spiderman

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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 15:05      Profile for Spiderman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
Just over a year..? That long? wtf... I am worried that that much time has slipped by already, maybe it has.

A Freudian slip on my part, it should have read just *under* a year. But nonetheless, still a decent amount of time.

quote:
Originally posted by soulshine:

Having said all this, I'd never discourage someone from having a long distance relationship - if you find someone you want to be with, I don't think you should let something like a few miles get between you [Smile]

Like I said, my cynicism is still fresh. Had you asked me a few months ago, I would have said the same thing you did, but the truth is, it takes a *very* special situation for things to work.

I don't regret the time I spent in this relationship I speak of; to the contrary actually. I'm just cautionary due to the fact that the highly improbably nature of such a situation sets it up for failure.

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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

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fs

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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 16:18      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by uilleann:
Hehe [Razz]

Hm, yes, "partner" is annoying but ... indeed, what is the alternative? "lover" tends to make me think of flings in France and stuff, "partner" is on the other hand too sterile.

Swedish has "sambo" to refer to a partner you cohabit with. It's not gender specific. I've warmed up to it a bit, despite the initial wince-factor many Americans may have. It also has "särbo" as a non gender-specific term for a significant other that you do not cohabit with.

I have a gut level reaction to most English words referring to female partners. They grate on me like nails on a blackboard. "Girlfriend" seems especially trite. I find that I don't mind flickvän (Swedish for girlfriend), though.

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

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uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 16:38            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm fine with "girlfriend" and "boyfriend". "Husband" and "wife" bother me, but I have no idea why, that one puzzles me.

I wonder if your reaction to the words is something more to do with your past experiences leaving a nasty taste in your mind by association. It's mostly "gf" and "bf" that grate on me simply for reducing someone supposedly special in your life down to two letters. I also hate "Mrs <my nick here>", I don't know why though, I guess it's part of my huge despising of the paranoid. Maybe also the sense that you're assimilating their identity too much.

There is something just strange about your wife taking your surname. I guess I'd feel honoured, but at the same time, a person's full name is a powerful handle to their identity and changing that is very bizarre. (And confusing for them, too, my sister is sticking to her maiden name. If only to escape having Smith as a surname [Wink]

Of course, it's different on the Net when people tend to hide their full name anyway or even their entire name, so by which time the likes of "Mrs <my nick here>" is really screwed up.

And for some reason, stuff like that makes my brain vomit. If I like someone I feel I should honour and validate them by acknowledging them by name. "My wife" is quite fine (and not so damn tacky) when no-one is expected to know their name. Sheesh.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 17:22      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
On the flip side, you have people who talk endlessly about their significant other by name, and without that person present, it can *really* grate on one's nerves.

Stupid as it sounds, I have a tendency to use the phrases 'female friend' and 'male friend,' just to avoid stupid jokes. Oh, and it'd probably be a bad thing if I told someone that "I was talking with me mate ____ about this the other day." I'd never live that one down in the States when talking with a less clueful person. When in a written form online, I sometimes use 'girl_friend' to use the simple two-word form, but without any room for confusion.

'Partner' is a funny word in some ways - it can refer to either a significant other, or a business partner. It used to almost exclusively refer to the latter, and it's getting really fscked up these days. Reading certain bits of tech news, one can't always be sure from context what the term means, and that leaves one to really wonder. There really needs to be a better word for 'person that I'm not actually married to, but am nearly as attached to.'

Maybe we should all just get along, and not worry so much about words to describe our relationships. [Wink]

(That, or to make 'partners' clearer, just say 'long-term fsckbuddy.' [evil] [Big Grin] )

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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uilleann
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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 19:07            Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If I was going to need one of those I think I'd simply invest in a good UPS.
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csk

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Icon 1 posted July 10, 2006 23:34      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
'Partner' is a funny word in some ways - it can refer to either a significant other, or a business partner. It used to almost exclusively refer to the latter, and it's getting really fscked up these days. Reading certain bits of tech news, one can't always be sure from context what the term means, and that leaves one to really wonder. There really needs to be a better word for 'person that I'm not actually married to, but am nearly as attached to.'

Maybe we should all just get along, and not worry so much about words to describe our relationships. [Wink]

(That, or to make 'partners' clearer, just say 'long-term fsckbuddy.' [evil] [Big Grin] )

But it's not quite the same, though, since long-term fsckbuddy doesn't equal partner (or boyfriend/girlfriend). In general fsckbuddy implies no emotional connection, it's just sex. And from what I've seen and experienced, it seems to be pretty difficult to keep someone as a fsckbuddy long term because either one party finds a "real" partner, or the relationship deepens into a partner/boyfriend/girlfriend thing...

I don't think there's any easy answers, it's always going to be hard to summarise a complex human relationship into a short phrase. Besides, anyone who wants to know will ask for more detail anyway...

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6 weeks to go!

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted July 11, 2006 06:13      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually, I was just being a smartass. [Smile]

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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