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Author Topic: If only UCLA could grade her on character
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Icon 2 posted March 15, 2011 20:46      Profile for Danapoppa     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I just got handed this message by the people of Japan (well, a few of them) who, despite all the things they have to deal with these days, have apparently managed to take a moment to watch Jeanne Moos' bit about tsunami jokes on CNN.

Now, it's addressed to that silly bint from UCLA, and I don't really move in her social circles. I don't even want to bother trying to find out where her social circles are. I told them this, but they assume because I'm American I'll know how to get ahold of her. So I figured I'd post it here. Hell, it's still the internet. It's all connected, no?

So here's the message. I hope you'll pardon me if the translation is rough in places, the occasional aftershocks are still making it a bit hard to concentrate on typing.

Dear Ms. Wallace,

We were sorry to hear that your quiet study time was disturbed by the phone calls of people trying to express to their friends, family, and loved ones their concern over the death, destruction, and human suffering that has befallen our country these past few days. We could certainly have gotten by without their calls, which were undoubtedly inconsiderate of your needs, and will ask our well-wishers to be more circumspect in the future.

We know it can be unsettling and perhaps even a bit scary to be surrounded by people speaking in strange foreign languages. Please understand that this was unavoidable. In most cases the people receiving the phone calls that disturbed you are not very fluent in English, let alone your complex dialect of

I'm having difficulty making out the next few characters. They seem to be translatable as "Self-Involved Racist Bitch," but that can't be right, given the overall tone of the letter.

We hope that you will be spared any such inconvenience in the future, as we have asked the people involved to make sure they stay very far away from people like yourself. We hope you will not hesitate to let us know if there are any more transgressions, as we are quite prepared to

Here's another bit that's hard to translate. They're offering to either invite her to a tea ceremony or commit mass seppuku on her front porch, I'm not quite sure which.

as a token of our earnest regret for your inconvenience.

Wishing you good health and happiness in these difficult times, we remain

The People of Japan

And there you have it. Perhaps somehow this message will find its way to the addressee. (Delivering it person is something I'd rather not do. I'd just as soon take their advice and stay very far away from her.)

My duty done, let me apologize to all you geeks for being absent from these boards for so long. Recent events have reminded me how important it is to stay in touch.

How y'all doing? Me, I'm still not dead yet.



Posts: 237 | From: South of Mt. Fuji | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
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Icon 1 posted March 16, 2011 00:22      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sadly though this has brought out the best in some of those there, from around the world it has also produced behaviour that makes me ashamed to be a member of the human race . I might add that I was uncertain as to whether I should post this, as I don't know whether drawing attention to the vain, ignorant and self obsessed does more harm than good.

"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

Posts: 2922 | From: Brighton - UK | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged

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