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Author Topic: Excuse Needed
The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted May 09, 2004 17:22      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
First it was to save the world from Saddams Weapons of Mass Destruction, but it turns out there aren't any, so we don't hear that excuse much these days.

Then it was to save the Iraqi people from a brutal regime that rapes, tortures, and murders prisoners, but the headlines in recent days suggest we won't be hearing that excuse much any more.

So, in the spirit of True Patriotism, I think it's time we thought up a new excuse for the war in Iraq.

All suggestions are welcome, any good ones will be forwarded to the relevant government officials, and I'll award a suitable worthless prize for my favourite entry.

Let the excusifying begin !

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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GMx

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Icon 1 posted May 09, 2004 17:29      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
To bring BDSM to a backward country. [evil]
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Too Cool To Quit
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Icon 1 posted May 09, 2004 18:06      Profile for Too Cool To Quit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
WORLD PEACE!

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Alright now, that's the last straw, I'm calling the ass taxidermist to tell him to stop making hats in your size RIGHT NOW.

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Spiderman

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Icon 1 posted May 09, 2004 18:59      Profile for Spiderman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
To create the need for a superhero!!

Spiderman anyone?? [Wink]

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Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]

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Snaggy

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Icon 12 posted May 09, 2004 19:06      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Because we gotta fire all these bullets or they'll just go to waste!"
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GMx

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Icon 1 posted May 09, 2004 19:16      Profile for GMx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
We don't have enough sand in the USA. Sand is a valuable resorce that was under the control of a dictator. Now the sand can flow freely into the free market without some despot controlling it.
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Orpheus
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Icon 1 posted May 09, 2004 22:59      Profile for Orpheus     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Because every once in a while ya just gotta bomb someone.

Ya gotta do something with the leftover fireworks from New Years.

They might have rocks.

They turned me into a newt!

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my cats make me crazy

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csk

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 01:12      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GMx:
To bring BDSM to a backward country. [evil]

Yeah, those US soldiers tried to explain about safewords, but the language barrier must have got in the way [evil]

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6 weeks to go!

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 06:52      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
_____Nothing perks up the economy like a war just ask the defense contractors how much they are making off of this little piece of history

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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Stereo

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 07:20      Profile for Stereo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, as far as I know, the current "official" excuse is "to bring some stability in the Middle East", but the one I'd like to hear is:

"Cause Daddy lost his keys the last time he went there, so we had to find them back. It's a matter of national security, you know; we don't want no freakin' potential terrorists to use our boat as a tool of mass destruction! Think of the lives of all those poor, innocent people who could die while they try to enjoy some hard-earned free time, drinking martinis at the marina bar! No, that they are working for oil and military companies doesn't make them any less innocent! There'll be no more questions."

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Eppur, si muove!

Galileo Galilei

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angryjungman

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 08:55      Profile for angryjungman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Excuse?

[sarcasm]
We are almighty America. We need no excuses.
[/sarcasm]

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Meh.

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Sinn
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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 09:03      Profile for Sinn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Orpheus:
They turned me into a newt!

I got better...

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Sin is a dangerous toy in the hands of the virtuous. It should be left to the congenitally sinful, who know when to play with it and when to let it alone.

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 09:27      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
How 'bout:

"Chicago needs a new Sears Tower. If we keep this up it is only a matter of time before someone flies a plane into it."

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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MacManKrisK

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 09:32      Profile for MacManKrisK     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I agree with MoMan.

Nothing perks up the economy (just ask Haliburton how the economy is doing), or rallys blind patriotism, like a good ol' fashioned ground war!

If I see one more sign that reads "If you don't support our president, you don't support our troops," I'm gonna' scream!

Too many eerie similarities between this war and the last time we did this kind of shit.

*sings*
...So put down your books and pick up a gun,
We're gonna have a whole lotta fun.

And it's, one, two, three, what are we fightin' for?
Well I don't give a damn, next stop is Vietnam.
And it's five, six, seven, open up the pearly gates.
Well there ain't no time to wonder why
Wooo... we're all gonna' die!

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"Buy low, sell high
get rich and you still die"


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MTB Babe
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Icon 11 posted May 10, 2004 10:18      Profile for MTB Babe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
To see if Bush can still have supporters after fscking everything up. Hey look, he still does!

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Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

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sconzey
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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 11:13      Profile for sconzey     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Okay. Flamebait and possible thread hijack ahead.

First, my view on this. The Iraqi people are now free. Many innocent people who would have been mutilated, humiliated and tortured have not been.

Now. The big however. However, the way the war was gone about I have little problem with. What I do have a problem with is what came after. It angers me that George Bush and his 'poodle' as the swiss call him, went to war with no clear or coherent plan of what to do with the country afterwards. These mutilations done by the 'Coalition' soldiers, though I do not condone them, I understand the motivations behind them. They are acts of fustration at an incompetent government, taken out on innocent bystanders.

Okay. Now. All that is in the past. It has happened. People seem quite happy to criticise George Bush and say he's an idiot and doesn't know what he's doing... But what *should* he be doing?

Lets not talk about the past. Lets talk about right here, right now.

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 11:34      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by sconzey:

First, my view on this. The Iraqi people are now free. Many innocent people who would have been mutilated, humiliated and tortured have not been.

While I agree that the Iraqi people are probably better off, I do not agree that they are free. Whether under a benevolent or malevolent force, they are still occupied by someone who should not be there. I think that Dubya really believes that he is doing the right thing and I can respect that, but I don't happen to agree with his view. That is why I plan to fire him in November.

Latest excuse for being in Iraq:

The Iraqi people have never lived in a democracy so we have to stay there until they learn to choose our type of government for themselves.

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

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Morte Lavie
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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 11:39      Profile for Morte Lavie   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OK, now here's the best reason that no one has thought of.

The reason we're over there is so that the lowlife scummy terrorists can take a one-tank-of-gas drive to attack Americans rather than an international flight. And the Americans they attack are fully armed and capable of killing them.

Notice we haven't had any attacks HERE since 9/11?
Even Osama is fooled. He's been calling for all his idiots to go to Iraq, not America!

Brilliant!

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The creator stands on his own judgment. The parasite follows the opinions of others. The creator thinks, the parasite copies. The creator produces, the parasite loots. The creator's concern is the conquest of nature. The parasite's concern is the conquest of Man. The creator requires independence - he neither serves nor rules. He deals with men by free exchange and voluntary choice. The parasite seeks power. He wants to bind all men together in common action and common slavery.

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Cap'n Vic

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 11:47      Profile for Cap'n Vic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
Latest excuse for being in Iraq:

The Iraqi people have never lived in a democracy so we have to stay there until they learn to choose our type of government for themselves.

[Big Grin] Good one Peebs [thumbsup]

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(!) (T) = 8-D

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Tut-an-Geek

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 12:09      Profile for Tut-an-Geek   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
We need to "democratize" the personal freedoms (just like Jackson "democratized" the BUS)

Anyway, Wag the Dog? I think Mr. Bush forgot to use actors though.

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Callipygous
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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 13:35      Profile for Callipygous     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I read the following on the Bush "crusade" to spread democracy in the Middle East in an Amazon book review.

"Consider the example of Haiti. President Woodrow Wilson sent the US Marines to Haiti with the gift of democracy in 1915; US forces stayed until 1934, providing Haiti with its most prosperous and peaceful era of the past century. After the Marines came home, Haiti collapsed into chaos and then a tyranny which lasted until 1986. President Bill Clinton sent US forces to Haiti in 1994, then pulled them out six months later. The current situation there is not pretty."

Haiti is a small poor island near the US, Iraq is not. So anyone prepared to lay odds how likely the Iraqis are to take democracy to their hearts? Any odds?

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"Knowledge is Power. France is Bacon" - Milton

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted May 10, 2004 17:12      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"The budget's in such a mess, we're hoping to make a bit of money from webcams in the torture rooms"

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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littlefish
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Icon 1 posted May 11, 2004 03:53      Profile for littlefish   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
"Because we gotta fire all these bullets or they'll just go to waste!"
Apparently not!
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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted May 11, 2004 04:15      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by littlefish:
quote:
"Because we gotta fire all these bullets or they'll just go to waste!"
Apparently not!
They use 2 billion bullets a year ?????

Wouldn't it be cheaper to introduce the American soldier to the concept of 'aiming' ?

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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angryjungman

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Icon 1 posted May 11, 2004 04:57      Profile for angryjungman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Let me preface this post with saying that I am absolutely against war for any reason whatsoever. Violence only breeds more violence. That being said, since we invaded Iraq for the oil, I'd like to know why I haven't seen a decrease in my gas prices. In fact, I paid $1.93/gallon this morning. That's up about 15 cents from last week. So come on Georgie. If you're going to invade a country and rape it's natural resources, let the consumer benefit.

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Meh.

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