homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam

The Geek Culture Forums!


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Geek Culture Forums!   » Love!   » Guys, Guys, Guys!   » The signs of a shy guy (Page 2)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!  
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2 
 
Author Topic: The signs of a shy guy
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 06:29      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Okay then - I acted rightly by inaction. [Big Grin]

Yes, that's what I'll say! [Smile]

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1177

Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 09:53      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Demosthenes:
quote:
Originally posted by dp004i:
Dude, don't pay too much attention to those smiles; most of the time, it's simply a matter of being polite – not acknowledging someone’s glance, or worse yet, returning a cold stare is a rude, even somewhat hostile gesture. Well, unless that particular glance was in fact a Homer Simpson-style stare, complete with drooling and all the other good stuff.

(Note that this is untrue in a lot of other countries; Russians don't smile at strangers so much.)
Nope, we don't. Normally, we have this "stop looking at me or I'll axe-murder you right here on the spot" expression on our faces.
Posts: 1094 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 10:27      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah I know. Kinda off-putting and then you get used to it and then you realize most of the time it's just an act.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1177

Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 10:56      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Yeah I know. Kinda off-putting and then you get used to it and then you realize most of the time it's just an act.

Why, do serbs to that too? I thought they just axe-murder you right away, without even giving you a chance to stop looking at them [Smile]
Posts: 1094 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 11:20      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actaully I was referring to Russians I know. Serbs are either smiling at you or killing you or doing both at once.

/me gives dp004i a poke

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1177

Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 12:16      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
All right, here's a little something that should lighten up this otherwise gloomy thread:

Two dudes are walking down a street and see a reasonably hot chick walking by and smiling at one of them. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, did you see that? She smiled at me, that means she likes me!!!" yells the first one. "Right, but do you remember how hard I laughed when I saw you the first time?" replies the second one.

EDIT: Does anybody else think this would make a great JoT? [Wink]

Posts: 1094 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 13:41      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hehehe

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Demosthenes
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 530

Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 15:10      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Yeah I know. Kinda off-putting and then you get used to it and then you realize most of the time it's just an act.

Yeah, just like the "smiling American" thing is all just an act. We lock eyes with someone, normally we'll smile...but if you actually act like we're the friendly beings we're smiling like, you'll be treated like a stranger...because you are.

It's more of a ruse than putting up an angry exterior, if you ask me. [Wink]

Posts: 1349 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
SilverBlade
Alpha Geek
Member # 3541

Member Rated:
3
Icon 1 posted December 19, 2005 19:05      Profile for SilverBlade   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Mmm I normally smile back when a guy smiles at me.

But there was this one time (in Cambridge) I was walking along the street and was waiting to cross the road. A car stopped to let me pass and I looked at the driver to give him a smile to say "thanks". Boy was he cute! [Razz] I smiled at him (shyly) and he gave a shy smile back.

Definetely made my day. [Big Grin]

--------------------
http://www.silver-blade.net

Posts: 303 | From: Hong Kong | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged
Maggs
Geek
Member # 4682

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 20, 2005 06:45      Profile for Maggs     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
quote:
Originally posted by SaSa:
Or you could just stand on a chair and shout "Fire!!" Then everyone would run out and you could talk to her alone!....Ok, I know, back to the drawing board...

Um...you do realize that is specifically mentioned in the Declaration of Independence as a bad thing, right?

</grumpy-old-man>

In fact, it's illegal in NY, if there isn't a real fire danger [Wink] .
Posts: 193 | From: NYC | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1177

Icon 1 posted December 21, 2005 17:10      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Demosthenes:
quote:
Originally posted by Xanthine:
Yeah I know. Kinda off-putting and then you get used to it and then you realize most of the time it's just an act.

Yeah, just like the "smiling American" thing is all just an act. We lock eyes with someone, normally we'll smile...but if you actually act like we're the friendly beings we're smiling like, you'll be treated like a stranger...because you are.

It's more of a ruse than putting up an angry exterior, if you ask me. [Wink]

Sweet, somebody actually understands what I'm talking about.
Posts: 1094 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 21, 2005 18:31      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ahh...I pretty much knew it was you by the description, but I thought you'd pulled a fast one somehow. I see that you got Snaggy to tweak the nick for you. [Smile]

Can I make some "In Soviet Russia, _____ ____s you!" jokes now?" [Big Grin]

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 21, 2005 21:16      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Whoa, now that gave me a double take. I still like your very first nick, the one you lost your password for, best of all though.

Demosthenes, this is why, although I walk with my head up so I can see everything, I avoid eye contact.

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1173

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 21, 2005 21:26      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yelling fire isn't in The Unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America. See, http://www.law.indiana.edu/uslawdocs/declaration.html

--------------------
My Site

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Xanthine

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 736

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 21, 2005 21:47      Profile for Xanthine     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Huh?

--------------------
And it's one, two, three / On the wrong side of the lee / What were you meant for? / What were you meant for?
- The Decemberists

Posts: 7670 | From: the lab | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
GameMaster
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1173

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 22, 2005 05:06      Profile for GameMaster   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In reference to:
quote:

Originally posted by dragonman97:

quote:
Originally posted by SaSa:
Or you could just stand on a chair and shout "Fire!!" Then everyone would run out and you could talk to her alone!....Ok, I know, back to the drawing board...

Um...you do realize that is specifically mentioned in the Declaration of Independence as a bad thing, right?

</grumpy-old-man>

I know, I "missed the point", but not commenting on that would have driven me nuts.

--------------------
My Site

Posts: 3038 | From: State of insanity | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
dragonman97

SuperFan!
Member # 780

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted December 22, 2005 06:33      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GameMaster:
In reference to:
quote:

Originally posted by dragonman97:

quote:
Originally posted by SaSa:
Or you could just stand on a chair and shout "Fire!!" Then everyone would run out and you could talk to her alone!....Ok, I know, back to the drawing board...

Um...you do realize that is specifically mentioned in the Declaration of Independence as a bad thing, right?

</grumpy-old-man>

I know, I "missed the point", but not commenting on that would have driven me nuts.
Yes, and I was wrong actually. I should have said "First Amendement."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shouting_fire_in_a_crowded_theater

--------------------
There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

Posts: 9345 | From: Westchester County, New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Maggs
Geek
Member # 4682

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted December 22, 2005 13:03      Profile for Maggs     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I actually found out that "girl" that called me at work, was just a ruse [Frown]

Better Luck next time I guess.

Posts: 193 | From: NYC | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
zesovietrussian
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 1177

Icon 1 posted December 22, 2005 15:05      Profile for zesovietrussian     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
Ahh...I pretty much knew it was you by the description, but I thought you'd pulled a fast one somehow. I see that you got Snaggy to tweak the nick for you. [Smile]

Can I make some "In Soviet Russia, _____ ____s you!" jokes now?" [Big Grin]

Go for it, but don't forget: in Soviet Russia, the joke makes you!

xanthine: I liked that one too, but I figured it was somewhat disrespectful to all those unlucky kids who finally made it home in zinc coffins...

Posts: 1094 | From: Boston | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
AllieLynn
Single Celled Newbie
Member # 23907

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2008 13:24      Profile for AllieLynn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I too have trouble figuring out the shy guy that I am interested in. He is charming and I am completely enamored with him. We started with only a professional relationship and once that was finished, we were able become more of friends, and we even went out for coffee and to listen to live music. The conversation was great and we were able to laugh and had a good time, I was sitting close to him at the music thing and I moved from sitting far away to right up next to him. I felt like he liked me, I felt like I got that vibe but he didn't try to hold my hand and when we came to the end of the night he stood kind of far away and said, I had a good time..see you Tuesday!
I usually see him on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we exchange small talk and when he does look at me he cocks his head sideways (as per some of the posts above) so what does this mean?
Am I going to have to just put it all out there and tell him how I really feel? Usually I am outgoing and would have no problem, but I like him so much that I am so nervous....
PLEASE HELP THIS CLUELESS GAL!! Me! [Roll Eyes]

Posts: 4 | From: Cortland, NY/Phelps, NY | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged
GrumpySteen

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan
Member # 170

Icon 1 posted November 19, 2008 14:14      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
AllieLynn:
1) If you're that interested, just ask him out. Seriously... most guys don't mind. The ones that do have issues.

2) Most forum posters will be quite happy to dicuss this further, but you should start a new topic rather than dragging up a three-years dead one.

--------------------
Worst. Celibate. Ever.

Posts: 6364 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
tweety
Assimilated
Member # 3890

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 19, 2008 14:17      Profile for tweety   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
EDIT: Oops, didn't realize this thread was well decomposed. Thanks, Steen, for pointing that out. Either way, I still stand by what I wrote, but will be happy to move this to a new thread.


Hopefully what I'm about to share will help give everyone some perspective. At least from an sociological/psychological "What are shy guys thinking/why do they act this way?" perspective.

I've always been shy, always had a less than stellar self-image. I always felt fat (most likely due to the fact that my brothers and mother have had lifelong weight issues), even though I wasn't necessarily "fat". Always felt unattractive (this has a lot to do with hand-me-down clothing, bad glasses, braces from Sophomore through Senior year HS and the usual acne issues), always felt like an outsider.

While I wanted to talk to the girls I thought were really attractive, I never had the courage. I was too scared of rejection, of having my "No good looking girl wants me" self-delusion reinforced. So, I settled for others. I convinced myself they were attractive, that the physical wasn't as important as the mind, that whatever personality issues I had with them I could gloss over. But, eventually after two failed serious relationships (engagements, rings, oh my!) I took stock of myself, my wants and needs from a romantic partner, as well as my wants and needs in life. One decision I did make was that the girl would have to ask me out, and if it got really serious, she'd be the one popping the question. Please read on to see why that was 50% stupid.

Still, while I did try hard to put myself in front of the girls I found attractive, it wasn't until I descried the now Mrs Tweety that I was able to shake my MO just enough to actually snag a date with her. And, mind you, this was after some fatal missteps on my part. These included having the future Mrs Tweety come into my work and ask for computer help, then me giving her my phone number. I should have gotten hers. And, no, she never called. Me turning Rudolph Red when speaking with her (she thought something was wrong with me [Eek!] ), stammering, beating around the bush way too much. It was only when I finally realized that she wasn't going to ask me out that I finally got up enough courage, and got over myself, to ask her. Of course, this was after about a week of heavy flirting and Atom Bomb sized hints, that I somehow missed (clueless I am). Anyway, so far it's worked out pretty well. But, only because I made a decision to actually meet her, not just stare at her from a distance fantasizing about how I was going to meet her. I actually did it.

So, moral of the story. If you're interested in a guy/gal and you get the vibe they're into you as well but aren't making the move, decide for yourself if you want to be the one making the first move, or if you'd rather have someone else do the reeling in. Sometimes, making the first move may be completely out of your character, and theirs as well. Which goes a long way in explaining why a guy would let you get close, but then seem to blow you off at the end of the night. It could also be that they already have a someone else, but think you're hot. They could like you as nothing more than a friend, or they could be gay. You won't know until you push the subject, though.

Oh, another problem I had. Now, let me try to put this the right way and not offend anyone. I grew up with the belief that women should be respected, and that while men and women are quite capable of doing the same jobs, a woman should be a lady and a man should be a gentleman. However, social messages screwed that up for me, along with how many girls that I knew behaved (many were just like my guy friends, with nothing remotely "lady" or feminine about them). So, essentially, gender roles/identity became a bit confused. It wasn't okay to be a "guy", you had to listen and be empathetic and sympathetic and let the woman lead. No masculinity, please. And femininity? Yeah, right, femininity was for weak women requiring fainting couches and salts. Problem with that whole way of thinking was that I let myself be led all over the place, always putting my own needs second. There are other issues at play here, but my general perception is that a lot of the confusion I hear from people is more fear of what is and is not appropriate. Is it okay to flirt at work, outside of work? Who should make the first move? If I, the guy, make the move and the woman has other ideas, well, then, there go my chances. Best to sit back and wait, see what happens. I think it's the same for a lot of women as well. And, getting back to the masculinity/femininity thing, I think many people want more masculine/feminine definition. It's hard to be the "guy" and make the first move when you're not sure if that's your role anymore.

If any of the above sounds sexist, well, phooey on you. It's my firm belief, based on social observation and scientific studies, that men and women are built different. Our brain structures are different. We should celebrate those differences, not squash them. We should celebrate the similarities, but not force them evenly. We may all be born equal, and we may all die equal, but we are not all equivalent.

I don't know if any of the above makes any sense. Frankly, if it doesn't, I don't think I have the brain capacity right now to try and clarify.

--------------------
If I were a good man I'd talk to you more often than I do.
American Fairy Tales
IT, A Philosophy

Posts: 454 | From: IL | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged
AllieLynn
Single Celled Newbie
Member # 23907

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted November 20, 2008 13:33      Profile for AllieLynn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I moved it to Shy Guys Continued!
Posts: 4 | From: Cortland, NY/Phelps, NY | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged
LAW G4
Newbie Larva
Member # 38302

Rate Member
Icon 1 posted April 14, 2011 01:35      Profile for LAW G4     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Demosthenes:
was giving you the real "eye rape" look

Eye rape... Wow, have the powers of femininity really progressed that far?

Shy guy here as well. I know your pain about that whole "girl looks at you and smiles" thing. Bloody annoying because they all seem to use it differently. My female friends have told me of the various ways they get a guys attention - do a quick glance that barely lasts a second regularly, stare at the guy with a cheeky smile, casual glances - But then the others usually pipe up and say that all those things are just polite and they do it to everyone...

Btw, a great way of getting certain girls attention is to be within earshot and admit to watching something like "sex and the city", "Grey's anatomy", "Private practice" or maybe a band/singer like "toto" or "michael buble" (aka something embarrasing). It helps if you do actually watch it.

Posts: 7 | From: Western Australia | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged


All times are Eastern Time
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2 
 
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Geek Culture Home Page

© 2018 Geek Culture

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.4.0



homeGeek CultureWebstoreeCards!Forums!Joy of Tech!AY2K!webcam