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» The Geek Culture Forums   » Love!   » Guys, Guys, Guys!   » So how does one meet geeks? (Page 1)

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Author Topic: So how does one meet geeks?
Black_Pearls_and_Lace
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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 03:58      Profile for Black_Pearls_and_Lace     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Now it may sound rich coming from me, a permanent inhabitant of Nerd Central (make that Uber Nerd Central), but the problem in postgrad humanist departments is that 1. men are few and far between; 2. those who exist are gay/engaged/incredibly pretentious.

So where do the rest hang out? Aside from basements or anime conventions, since I don't frequent either of the above.

But since I'm still sorting out a relationship (with a non-geek), I'd be happy just with making new friends. I miss talking literature, odd movies, theatre, conspiracy theories, all the things that he can't really keep up with, a fact which leaves me feeling empty and bored.

Any suggestions? Showing up naked with beer wouldn't really do ... I hate beer.

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ChildeRoland
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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 05:00      Profile for ChildeRoland     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace:


Any suggestions? Showing up naked with beer wouldn't really do ... I hate beer.

It's okay. The beer's not for you anyways. [crazy]

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Matias
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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 11:21      Profile for Matias   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Any suggestions? Showing up naked with beer wouldn't really do ...
Darn it! That was my suggestion.

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Serenak

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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 12:47      Profile for Serenak     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well for the more sophisticated there is always Capt Vic's suggestion....

Thong and Chardonnay....

That'd work for me... (though I don't like Chardonnay that much...)

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 15:49      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Black_Pearls_and_Lace____________________Try these places on Campus: Ham Radio Club, Chess Club, and of course math club. Probably Chemisty culb or any other Science related Club. You sound too young for me and I doubt that the Mrs MoMan would approve us taking in a student.

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Benjamin Franklin,

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fs

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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 17:21      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
They are everywhere. Once you get into the habit of seeing them, you will be tripping over them. That guy in the line at Barnes and Noble with the O'Reilly book? He's one. That guy who came out of the gaming store in the mall in the Thinkgeek shirt? He's one. That guy in the produce section with the scruffy khakis with pagers, cell phones and PDAs hanging off his belt? He's one. You can also try groups like Mo suggested. I'd say 2600 or a LUG - but that would be my preference.

If you can't spot them yourself, you may need to cultivate the right signals and let them come to you. I have guys coming up to me in the grocery store or wherever and starting a conversation, usually based on a tshirt, but it's happened because of my laptop, something they overhear, etc.

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 18:22      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
fs: Damn...now if only maybe there'd be someone around who followed those guidelines... [Wink]

And I'm a tad too meek to randomly approach people - slowly working on that. *shrug*

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fs

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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 20:42      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
And I'm a tad too meek to randomly approach people - slowly working on that. *shrug*

Me too. Even if I'm not looking to "meet" someone, there are times when I've kind of kicked myself later for not talking to someone who seemed kind of interesting. On the other hand, I know how hard it is to start a conversation with a total stranger, so unless I have a definite bad vibe, I'm always nice and pleasant and willing to talk. (Even if I get a bad feeling from someone, I generally just keep it short, polite, and excuse myself quickly.)

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Black_Pearls_and_Lace
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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 21:18      Profile for Black_Pearls_and_Lace     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think you're missing the point: I'm not exactly interested in Math Club geeks or guys with PDAs. I'm interested in people who have read Kundera and like cello concerts and avant-garde theatre.

As for taking in students, sorry hun, but I'm a part-time prof. That's the problem: all the people I meet outside my department are my undergrad students, who are way, way too young for me (17-18). We're only hired to teach first-year classes [ohwell] It's a lot easier for TAs, because they are only 22-23 and it's not a huge deal if they like a student: they pass that person to the adjunct. But when you are the adjunct, it's a lee-tle bit more complicated.

I did the Chapters scene - it's full of desperate-looking chicks and middle-aged guys shopping for snowblower how-tos.

The sad part is that the kind of people I'm looking for are probably holed up with their manuscripts and wondering the same thing ...

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fs

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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 23:15      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace:
I think you're missing the point: I'm not exactly interested in Math Club geeks or guys with PDAs. I'm interested in people who have read Kundera and like cello concerts and avant-garde theatre.

Oh, sorry. You didn't specify. I didn't know those came in the unpretentious variety.
[Big Grin]

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YaYawoman

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Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 23:43      Profile for YaYawoman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by FireSnake:
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
And I'm a tad too meek to randomly approach people - slowly working on that. *shrug*

Me too. Even if I'm not looking to "meet" someone, there are times when I've kind of kicked myself later for not talking to someone who seemed kind of interesting. On the other hand, I know how hard it is to start a conversation with a total stranger, so unless I have a definite bad vibe, I'm always nice and pleasant and willing to talk. (Even if I get a bad feeling from someone, I generally just keep it short, polite, and excuse myself quickly.)
Head up, shoulders back, Eye Contact, hopeful pleasant smile on your face as you approach your target--when you reach polite conversation distance widen your smile and say " Hello my name is----------, I was hoping I could interest you in a (cup of coffee, a drink etc)" Some decline, but more than you believe say yes. It works. I've used that, and if you are in a bar then try making eye contact w/small smiles a couple of times and then the next time you walk by smile wide and say "My friends and I are sitting over there. Right now i'm getting a drink but when I get back you are welcome to come over and talk to me if you want" Eye contact and confidence work like a charm. Fake the confidence if you need to. [Big Grin]
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Grummash

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 03:19      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A guy I used to work with reckoned that the line "Have you ever been to bed with a fat biker?" was more successful than you would imagine [Embarrassed]

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TheMoMan
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 04:07      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Grummash _______________Hey I represent that. I ride a Harley because it can haul my lard arse around.

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Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

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Grummash

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 04:17      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The MoMan - No offence intended to any who, like myself, are not as svelte as perhaps we once were [Smile]

Do I take it then that Mrs Mo wouldn't want you experimenting with the suggested conversational gambit? [Eek!]

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 07:14      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Head up, shoulders back, Eye Contact, hopeful pleasant smile on your face as you approach your target--when you reach polite conversation distance widen your smile and say " Hello my name is----------, I was hoping I could interest you in a (cup of coffee, a drink etc)" Some decline, but more than you believe say yes. It works. I've used that, and if you are in a bar then try making eye contact w/small smiles a couple of times and then the next time you walk by smile wide and say "My friends and I are sitting over there. Right now i'm getting a drink but when I get back you are welcome to come over and talk to me if you want" Eye contact and confidence work like a charm. Fake the confidence if you need to. [Big Grin]

Bloody hell...that actually kind of worked on me...until I learned she was gynocologist, and a smoker. [Eek!] 'Twas her friend who approached me initially, anyway. That was a curious evening...

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 09:59      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ah, I love getting hit on... especially when it happens outside my imagination. A mate and me were in a pub oop norf somewhere, having a quiet pint of Sister-Shagger, when this deranged troll heffer came lumping over to our table. She fixed me with her one forward-set eye and said, rather unbelievably, "didn't we go to school together?" What I said next was along the lines of "... errm... uhhh... *shudder*... help... Mommy!" What I wanted to say was "yeah, but I transferred out of St. Crack-Whore's before Christmas".

It doesn't happen often - but even the traumatic, life-threatening encounters give one a sense of being raised slightly higher than dog shit in the great scheme of things. Ah, memories. [Smile]

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drunkennewfiemidget
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 10:02      Profile for drunkennewfiemidget     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by dragonman97:
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Head up, shoulders back, Eye Contact, hopeful pleasant smile on your face as you approach your target--when you reach polite conversation distance widen your smile and say " Hello my name is----------, I was hoping I could interest you in a (cup of coffee, a drink etc)" Some decline, but more than you believe say yes. It works. I've used that, and if you are in a bar then try making eye contact w/small smiles a couple of times and then the next time you walk by smile wide and say "My friends and I are sitting over there. Right now i'm getting a drink but when I get back you are welcome to come over and talk to me if you want" Eye contact and confidence work like a charm. Fake the confidence if you need to. [Big Grin]

Bloody hell...that actually kind of worked on me...until I learned she was gynocologist, and a smoker. [Eek!] 'Twas her friend who approached me initially, anyway. That was a curious evening...
What's wrong with a gyno?
The smoking I understand, but you wouldn't date her because her job involves touching other women's privates? [Razz]

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 10:51      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by drunkennewfiemidget:
What's wrong with a gyno?
The smoking I understand, but you wouldn't date her because her job involves touching other women's privates? [Razz]

Nah...actually, it was just strange in general. However, when I told the story to a friend, he suggested, "Hmm...you think she'd want to do very odd things, working around there all the time?"

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 13:20      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace:
I think you're missing the point: I'm not exactly interested in Math Club geeks or guys with PDAs. I'm interested in people who have read Kundera and like cello concerts and avant-garde theatre.

Make yourself a t-shirt that reads...

You could be dating a literature geek - ask me how

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skylar
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 14:12      Profile for skylar     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace:
I'm interested in people who have read Kundera and like cello concerts and avant-garde theatre.

It's funny, I was talking about something very similar with my best friend this afternoon, at our pretentious coffee house of choice. I think I even despaired at the lack of men who have read Kundera and can talk about his work.

I don't really have anything to add, as I have yet to find my own Kundera-geek. Just empathising. But good luck in your search! [Smile]

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 14:43      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'd be sure to run away from anyone who admits to having read Milan Kundera - I'd scarper with extreme prejudice.

Now, Houellebecq or Murakami... [Smile]

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YaYawoman

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 20:11      Profile for YaYawoman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi again. I just had a few more thoughts about this whole meeting people thing, and I decided to add them.

Everyone is taking this whole flirt/meet people too seriously. You know, the whole sweaty palm thing. The checklists people keep. Just go out and enjoy yourself, and enjoy the people you meet. An intro, or a cup of coffee or a conversation is not life or death or forever. Instead of focusing on "is this the one" focus on the fun of the moment and the fun of making new friends. Don't like a particular habit someone has? Dont then but Don't rule them out as friends or buddies. It gets back also to the numbers game too. Someday you might meet a friend of a friend's cousin at some get together and click.

Letting someone know you are admiring them with a smile, an intro, or invitation even if they say no thank you still brightens up their day. [Big Grin]

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Black_Pearls_and_Lace
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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 22:12      Profile for Black_Pearls_and_Lace     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
[QUOTE]Originally posted by spungo:
I'd be sure to run away from anyone who admits to having read Milan Kundera - I'd scarper with extreme prejudice.
[QUOTE]

I know, it must be so hard to be around educated people ...

As far as the pretentiousness goes, hmm, I don't think most people understand Kundera: they probably fixate on the postmodernism, but there is something else in there which is very hard to explain to someone who never lived behind the Iron Curtain and in its aftermath - like waiting for Prometheus to come, and then begging Zeus for forgiveness and returning the fire.

But like the poster, I agree that there should be less pressure on simple social interaction. I have no problem with that and I can be friendly to a variety of people, but in the end, very few interest me enough to want to talk to them again. I dated a lot out of my circle in the past few years and while it was new and exciting at the beginning, I found that I am simply not that interested in people who live for TV and sports. Nothing personal, just not my cup of tea. It's not a happy realization, as my pool obviously closed again, but I think that part of growing up was realizing that I'd rather find one person I have a lot in common with than scatter myself around with a bunch of people I find moderately interesting.

I like the T-shirt idea - forward, but in a quirky way that made me smile. I'd start talking to a guy wearing that T-shirt.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 22:26      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
How 'bout a t-shirt of your own? [Big Grin]

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toobe

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Icon 1 posted November 15, 2005 22:48      Profile for toobe   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I prefer this one

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