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» The Geek Culture Forums!   » Love!   » Guys, Guys, Guys!   » I dated a nerd, and got burned. My sad story (Page 2)

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Author Topic: I dated a nerd, and got burned. My sad story
Black_Pearls_and_Lace
Geek Larva
Member # 4586

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted November 14, 2005 21:29      Profile for Black_Pearls_and_Lace     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sasa, the guy was an asshole. He didn't have to be so patronizing. You can be smart and enjoy the simple things without overanalyzing them.

On the other hand, it doesn't sound like you were a good match. If you can't fit in in each other's world, it's not going to work. It wasn't fair that he looked down on your work - he should have understood that it's a big part of you and that if he wanted you, he should have attempted to understand what makes you tick. BUT, the fact that you couldn't keep up with the things they were talking about was probably unattractive to him too.

The way I see it, since you like the intellectual type, you might have to make some changes if you'd like to date other guys like that. Not all will be allergic to pop culture, but if you want to maintain their interest, you'll have to learn how to function in their world. You'll have to start educating yourself about subjects you're interested in, because, ultimately, a guy like that will not stay interested for long without intellectual stimulation. Once the magic of getting such a beautiful girl wears off, they'll start missing the intellectual challenge of an equal. And when that happens, they start resenting you.

The same thing is happening to me, but in reverse. I've tried very hard to date non-academics, and while they are fresh at the beginning, it becomes mind-numbing to not be able to share my interests with them. Remember that for an academic, for example, his work is not 9-5. We take it home to bed. And it's nice to have someone in bed to talk about what's so important to you.

Alternatively, there are guys with geeky interests, but who are more main-stream. You might find that you'll be happier with one of them, who'll find your world exciting and in whose world you could participate without altering who you really are.

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HwÆT, we Gar-Dena in geardagum theodcyninga...

Posts: 28 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
SaSa
Mini Geek
Member # 4494

Member Rated:
5
Icon 1 posted November 16, 2005 00:03      Profile for SaSa     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well...Kinda...sorta....Here's the thing. I'm now realizing that it wasn't that the stuff he talked about was over my head... it's more along the lines of I TOTALLY DISAGREED WITH HIM on most things. Like, he was always preaching how people who live in cities sub-divisions are the scum of society. Whereas I think it's foolish to generalize and judge someone based on the location of their residence.

But that's just an example... [Wink]

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Lalala!

Posts: 62 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged
Black_Pearls_and_Lace
Geek Larva
Member # 4586

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted November 17, 2005 01:19      Profile for Black_Pearls_and_Lace     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So you should have told him exactly how you felt and why. If he always needed to be right, then methinks he had a bit of a psychological problem.

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HwÆT, we Gar-Dena in geardagum theodcyninga...

Posts: 28 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
Demosthenes
SuperBlabberMouth!
Member # 530

Icon 1 posted November 17, 2005 06:33      Profile for Demosthenes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by CommanderShroom:
There is an old saying I remember from growing up. No matter how much perfume you spray on sh** it is still sh**.

You know, when I started reading that paragraph, I thought you were talking about the original poster...I gave up on her as soon as I read "trying to become a geek."

Sigh. [Roll Eyes]

Posts: 1349 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged
Wick
Mini Geek
Member # 4608

Member Rated:
2
Icon 1 posted November 17, 2005 07:34      Profile for Wick     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by SaSa:
Ok, so I'm not a nerd or a geek. I'd like to be one, and am TRYING to become one, or at least try to be smarter then I am. I have a nerd-fetish, you see. Glasses turn me on, an guys who are smarter then me impress me.

Wait? I thought most people was trying to avoid nerds yet your wanting to become one. Interesting.

Hey, I got glasses. Though I am not going to claim to be smarter [Wink]

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-= "There comes a time in a man's life when he must roll the dice and except the outcome" =-

Posts: 80 | From: OH | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged


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