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» The Geek Culture Forums   » Love!   » Guys, Guys, Guys!   » male geeks and their non-geek girlfriends:) (Page 2)

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Author Topic: male geeks and their non-geek girlfriends:)
garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted October 10, 2005 12:30      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Wow! That was perhaps the longest run-on sentence I've ever seen posted at GC, Fictional24m. And so your point was....?

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sxeptomaniac

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Icon 1 posted October 10, 2005 13:11      Profile for Sxeptomaniac   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I read about two lines of that run-on before my eyes glazed over. [Roll Eyes]

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Let's pray that the human race never escapes from Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere. - C. S. Lewis

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Grummash

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Icon 1 posted October 10, 2005 13:31      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi Fictional24m

You may want to consider meaning one of this entry before posting again. This said, welcome to the forums.

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted October 10, 2005 17:37      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Grummy, you're too cute! Got any (much younger) brothers? [Wink]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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Grummash

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Icon 1 posted October 11, 2005 10:42      Profile for Grummash     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Grummy, you're too cute! Got any (much younger) brothers?
Rhonnie - you are very kind..oh..hang on, whaddya mean much younger?? [Eek!]

Anyways - to answer your question, I do have a younger brother, but he is only 18 months younger than me. He's not as cute as me either..or as modest! [Big Grin]

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...and yet, across the gulf of space, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this earth with envious eyes...

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Fictional24m
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Icon 1 posted October 16, 2005 12:37      Profile for Fictional24m     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes I agree my Grammer isn't the best I kind of wrote that fast too. I was on my way out the door I need to find a grammer check site or a site to teach me more grammar. I missed out on most of it in School. I changed School's so offten when I was younger. Thus I became a Geek the Computer became my friend so here I am I came out of the closet. lol [ohwell]

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If a Machine can learn the value of human life....maybe we can too..
T2

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alfrin
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Icon 1 posted October 16, 2005 12:56      Profile for alfrin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Fictional24m:
Thus I became a Geek the Computer became my friend so here I am I came out of the closet. lol [ohwell]

I have never been more confused in all of my life. And I've had some confusing situations before.

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Art is Resistance / Resistance is Art

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Fictional24m
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Icon 1 posted October 16, 2005 14:33      Profile for Fictional24m     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm trying to say that im a Geek. And the closet thing was a joke meaning that I was a Geek in denial and came out of the closet.

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If a Machine can learn the value of human life....maybe we can too..
T2

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YaYawoman

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Icon 1 posted October 22, 2005 00:12      Profile for YaYawoman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hello.Im new here, but this post struck a nerve. Yes,I know opposites do attract, but sadly I believe that sometimes people are so swept up with the ideal "should have" that they fail to see the potential loves that are standing right beside them,maybe because they have become so comfortable and familiar with geek female friends that they do not equate them with dating material. what a shame.
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The White Tree
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Icon 1 posted October 22, 2005 18:29      Profile for The White Tree     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes, it is a shame...
Posts: 201 | From: York, PA, residing/school at NNPTC at NWS Charleston, SC. | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
YaYawoman

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Icon 1 posted October 23, 2005 18:17      Profile for YaYawoman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Have you ever over-looked someone? Or have you been unnoticed yourself? I know I have been oblivious sometimes, and by the time I realize my mistake it is far too late.
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Crewgeekette
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Icon 1 posted October 24, 2005 21:00      Profile for Crewgeekette     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Dear UPG,
being beautiful is not a crime.
Being beautiful and dating a highly intelagent man is not a crime.

In laymans terms, if a totally hot chick wants to date a smart but not so hot guy it's none of your beeswax.

Thoughts of this stupid mini-letter,

Geekette

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SHOUT OUTS TOO: KD my sister, my friend...my alarm clock. lol

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The White Tree
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Icon 1 posted October 25, 2005 18:56      Profile for The White Tree     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by YaYawoman:
Have you ever over-looked someone? Or have you been unnoticed yourself? I know I have been oblivious sometimes, and by the time I realize my mistake it is far too late.

Un-noticed, yes. Over looked, no but I was too much of a wimp to "go on the offensive" quite a number of times in high school.
Posts: 201 | From: York, PA, residing/school at NNPTC at NWS Charleston, SC. | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Black_Pearls_and_Lace
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Icon 1 posted November 17, 2005 01:59      Profile for Black_Pearls_and_Lace     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Crewgeekette:
Dear UPG,
being beautiful is not a crime.

I don't think she ever said it was. Also, a lot of smart and educated women are beautiful and stylish, and social to boot.


quote:
Originally posted by Crewgeekette:
Being beautiful and dating a highly intelagent man is not a crime.

Now I'm intrigued: I'd like to know where "intelagent" men hang out - is that a combination of intelligent, gentle, and gentleman?

I also fail to understand what's exotic about someone who not only doesn't share your interests, but doesn't share your worldview either. And I think that this is why the relationships that UBG described are doomed from the beginning. My impression is that those guys are simply flattered that a decent-looking girl, with a higher "popularity" rating, is interested in them. Conversely, those girls are probably attracted to the "mystique" that intellect confers on men and imagine that geeky guys don't have a lot of dating options, which makes them great push-over candidates. In both cases, people go after the image, after what the other person stands for, rather than for the person itself.

Now let me elaborate on what I meant by worldview. Having a shared worldview doesn't mean you are replicas of each other. It doesn't even mean that you have any common interests, on the surface. However, it means that you have a similar philosophy or approach to things. Since this is a bit too vague, allow me to exemplify:

I am a literature geek. I am a decently informed computer user, but I don't know anything about programming. Gadgets are shiny and sparkly when I hear about them or see them, but but they don't retain my interest for too long and I am by no means obsessed with them. I'll take a beautiful bag any day over the new video iPod, because I don't get the excitement anyone could feel over watching movies on a 2-inch screen. The only games I ever played full-length and repeatedly are Chrono Trigger and a couple FF games. I guess I didn't like others because I fell in love with that particular type, including the battle system. I only play ROMs and can't do anything with a console controller. It just makes me dizzy and I'm completely unable to do anything requiring finesse with it.

So, what would I talk about with a CS PhD? Where would we even start? Where's the shared worldview?

Well, given that I'm a professional student too, we'd both share love and respect for learning. We'd understand each other's study needs. Given that we'd be functioning in the same social system, we'd be able to talk all about department dealings, politics, profs, students, exams, etc. We'd get it why the other is excited about making a discovery and writing a conference paper about it. And, since lovers of learning don't limit themselves to a single thing, we'd be finding out a lot of things from the other partner. We could read something more mainstream, like "Scientific American" and talk about it - I wish someone could have explained to me how those nano-crossbars work, how they are made. And given that I've read a fair bit of psychology in psychoanalytical theory and linguistic classes, we could have an educated conversation about the brain and the self.

Now, looking deeper to see common interests. I happen to know a lot about the anglo-saxon, medieval, and renaissance world, which always seems to be a hit with gamers. I can read Middle English decently, and I don't mean Chaucer, whom anyone should be able to understand, but Layamon or the Pearl-Poet. I can translate Latin, though I'm getting rusty. I know a truckload of mythology. Conversely, I'm eager to learn more about computers. Someone explained some basic code to me once, and I understood, because I know a bit about linguistics and logic. Strangely enough, we actually had fun doing that. Then, of course I'm open to new games if they have a decent story. I wouldn't even object to tabletop RPGs. I also noticed that some computer geeks read fairly difficult literature, which again makes for good conversation.

I could go on, but the point is that if the worldview is there, there's bound to be a way to find commonalities, especially hidden ones, while there is enough difference to keep the two people interested.

Oh, and give geek girls a break: we don't go around with baggy pants, soiled T-shirts, and unwashed hair. I own the equivalent of a beauty boutique and I'm pretty particular about what I wear, and so are many smart women.

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HwÆT, we Gar-Dena in geardagum theodcyninga...

Posts: 28 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged
Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted November 17, 2005 02:28      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I really hope you don't live in New Jersey, BLaP, 'cause he's all mine once he finally realizes I'm the one for him!

Let me explain. No, let me sum up: Humperdinck... Oh wait, wrong story. [Wink]

My best friendfrom my upper-undergrad years (formerly introduced to the GC community as "Ongoing Saga Guy") was a computer science major who plays flute extremely well, is very well-read, translates Latin, has studied Linguists (almost minored in it, IIRC), etc., etc. I don't always understand what he talks about, but he definitely makes it interesting. Me? I'm the girl the quiz bowl team depended upon to answer the music and literature questions, not to mention the odd current event question. I'm the one who cracks jokes so cerebral that non-geeks look at me like, "Huh?" (Of course, those jokes in this community are the ones that get groans! LOL) I'm also the one that non-geeks come to for help with their computers, dubious distinction that being. Oh, and I can't stand role playing games or first-person shooter or anything like that. I'd rather read a book or play cards with a group of people.

So yeah, I'm not sure what was my point except to say that men like what BLaP described do exist (cue Santa and M&Ms to faint) and they can get along with women who aren't interested in identical interests. That, and if BLaP ever meets a certain engineer at Lockheed Martin's New Jersey plant she should keep in mind he's already claimed! [Razz]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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fs

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Icon 1 posted November 17, 2005 03:45      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace:
I also fail to understand what's exotic about someone who not only doesn't share your interests, but doesn't share your worldview either. And I think that this is why the relationships that UBG described are doomed from the beginning.

I think it's also important to understand that especially during high school relationships, people are still forming ideas about what they find desireable in a partner. Those ideas will change over time. The geek boy who is only dating hot, popular girls now (is there such a creature?) may wind up married to an average looking girl who can outcode him with one hand tied behind her back.


quote:
Originally posted by Black_Pearls_and_Lace:
Oh, and give geek girls a break: we don't go around with baggy pants, soiled T-shirts, and unwashed hair. I own the equivalent of a beauty boutique and I'm pretty particular about what I wear, and so are many smart women.

/me pulls her sweatshirt over her tshirt and boxers and considers washing her hair.

Yeah! That's right! What she said!


[Big Grin]

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

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Black_Pearls_and_Lace
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Icon 1 posted November 17, 2005 06:08      Profile for Black_Pearls_and_Lace     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, Rhon, I live in Canada now, so I never get around to go to Jersey. But I do have two good friends in NYC, so who knows ... [Wink]

Nah, that's just bad karma ... he's all yours, once he figures it out [Big Grin]

And Fire, you're absolutely right about highschoolers, but I didn't realize we were talking about really young guys.

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HwÆT, we Gar-Dena in geardagum theodcyninga...

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ubergeekprincess
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Icon 1 posted November 21, 2005 00:53      Profile for ubergeekprincess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Dear UPG,
being beautiful is not a crime.
Being beautiful and dating a highly intelagent man is not a crime.

Crewgeekette, first of all, its UGP [Wink] , secondly, I detect a slightly hostile tone to this reply...don't see the need for it. Thirdly, could you point out exactly where I claimed that beautiful is a crime, and also, since when does geek equal ugly?

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ubergeekprincess...why? because if ya have to be a geek, you may as well be royalty:)

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AntonTakk
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Icon 1 posted November 25, 2005 23:51      Profile for AntonTakk   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Personally, I would be excited like a puppy in a chew toy factory to find a geek girl. I tried a non-geek girl, and it didn't work out so well. and back to what someone else said earlier, as a geek, I tend not to leave the house, especialty during the reign of the day star, if I can avoid it. If geek girls are significantly similar, that's why none of us ever meet!

edited for a horrendous slaughter of the english language

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`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings: Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!' - Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Too Cool To Quit
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Icon 1 posted November 27, 2005 12:38      Profile for Too Cool To Quit     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Fictional24m:
Yes I agree my Grammer isn't the best I kind of wrote that fast too. I was on my way out the door I need to find a grammer check site or a site to teach me more grammar. I missed out on most of it in School. I changed School's so offten when I was younger. Thus I became a Geek the Computer became my friend so here I am I came out of the closet. lol [ohwell]

Well, for starters.

Sentences, much like menstrual cycles, usually end in periods. A sentence should, pretty much, be a complete thought. Take that little piece first, that will carry you a little bit further.

And for the record, it's "grammar" and you don't need to capitalize it. It isn't a proper noun, or the beginning of a sentence.

Er...

Wait...

Uh...

Bye.

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Alright now, that's the last straw, I'm calling the ass taxidermist to tell him to stop making hats in your size RIGHT NOW.

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jordanv
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Icon 1 posted November 27, 2005 20:31      Profile for jordanv     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Too Cool To Quit:
Sentences, much like menstrual cycles, usually end in periods

Is it wrong to giggle at this?
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Divasjp
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Icon 5 posted December 25, 2005 11:32      Profile for Divasjp     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi Guys - I need some help and this thread looks like just what I needed this morning. I have a fabulous Geek boyfriend who I met through Match.com and we hit it off instantly. I think that for both of us, we would have never selected each for ourselves, but we took a chance and it paid off big!

We spend alot of time together and he is even taking me to Disney land this Christmas ( one of his favorite places)

Have even discussed all the big life issues and connect on a deep human level and have great sex.

Here is my concern though, I am getting used to his addiction to all things tech and computer, including the 2 day ordeal with an antena on his Digital Satelitte HD TV, although at first I thought he was negelcting me, but now know he was trying to fix it so we both could enjoy tv better! He does take care of me and allows me to take care of him. Do all geeks eat fast food only. Thank god I can cook!

What I am most concerned about is that he does not have much contact with real people in person. He writes code at home all day for work. Most of his friends are via the internet and so these are people I will never meet, let alone see. It makes me nervous that he is best at communicating via instant messages and message boards.

I tend to want to communicate live and in person to people.

When we go out and are with my friends all is good and there is never a lack of topics, and he does pay attention to me when I am over or we are out.

I think I understand that it is easier for him to communicate more freely over the net, but it just seems odd that he might never want "live" friends.

is this normal and will I ever get used to it. I work in opera and its a very people/social environment. He does come with me to events, and doesn't seem to mind that I can't keep html, ESQL and beta, meta, etc straight.

He send me flowers and makes me laugh and I can't stop smiling when he sings little made up songs. He shows me tricks on my MAC and takes me with him when we go the MAC store, and he comes to the opera with me.

I do love him and we both want to work on our relationship because we both sense there is a good deep connection there.

So, I just want to know if I should encourage him to get out and meet more live people, or just be supprotive of his isolated state.

Thanks, for any advice. Diva

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Lenin
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Icon 1 posted December 25, 2005 12:21      Profile for Lenin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think what you should really ask yourself is how you define "normal". The information age has changed society and culture, and will continue to change it.

I know that for myself, I used to be extremely attached to communication via the internet. At some point along the way the desire for the more real live social aspect of things reached its breaking point and I went in that direction.

Now i'm a bit of both. I generally enjoy very small social circles, and text communication because the general public pisses me off.

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Lenin
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Icon 1 posted December 25, 2005 12:25      Profile for Lenin   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Also, one of the big things here, and i've seen it echoed in numerous posts, is that opposites attract.

I agree with this, with a bit of a twist of course.

I've known quite a few "geek" gals who were very attractive, and all that, but they were always missing things that I liked about the "non geek" ones.

Before i'm a "geek", i'm a guy, and there are things that a guy wants that override the "geek" in me. If I met someone who combined some of both worlds into one person, then hey great there's the jackpot.

Unfortunately, you usually have better luck looking for a golden ticket in a wonka bar than finding that "jackpot".

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted December 25, 2005 14:05      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Don't try to 'fix' him. He's probably mostly fine with the means of relationship he has with his friends. If he ever suggests wanting to branch out a bit more, feel free to be supportive of him, but don't tell him that he's not normal - that'd probably the best way to lose him. I'm not exactly sure how exactly what else I could say on the matter - if he's happy, then let him stay happy. [Smile] Hang around here a bit more, get to know us a bit better, and maybe you'll start to get what he has going. [Wink]

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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