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Author Topic: FW: Ca-na-da facts
Snaggy

Sir Snaggalot!
Member # 123

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Icon 12 posted January 20, 2010 10:18      Profile for Snaggy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
forwarding this one...

Ca - na - da

Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world
are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!


Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked..

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Posts: 8111 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2000  |  IP: Logged
TheMoMan
BlabberMouth, a Blabber Odyssey
Member # 1659

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted January 20, 2010 10:30      Profile for TheMoMan         Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
____ Snaggy, I wish that I could say with some certainty that your post was all a fabrication, however I fear that is not the case.

--------------------
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.


Benjamin Franklin,

Posts: 5848 | From: Just South of the Huron National Forest, in the water shed of the Rifle River | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged
The Famous Druid

Gold Hearted SuperFan!
Member # 1769

Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted January 20, 2010 12:59      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That list originally appeared around the time of the Sydney Olympics, as questions dumb furriners had asked about Australia.

The question about the Vienna Boys Choir is a dead giveaway, dumb furriners often get Austria and Australia confused. Also, asking about speaking English in Canada is not such a dumb question.

No idea if the list is authentic or not, but it's possible. I once had an American express his surprise that the 4th of July isn't a holiday in the UK. Does he know what that holiday is for?

--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

Posts: 10680 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Zwilnik

Solid Nitrozanium SuperFan!
Member # 615

Member Rated:
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Icon 1 posted January 20, 2010 16:30      Profile for Zwilnik   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by The Famous Druid:

No idea if the list is authentic or not, but it's possible. I once had an American express his surprise that the 4th of July isn't a holiday in the UK. Does he know what that holiday is for?

It is a holiday, it's "Isn't it nice and quiet without all those Americans about" day [Smile]

ok, so not an official holiday as such , but it's nice to hear our colonial chums blowing off steam and enjoying themselves once a year [Smile]

--------------------
The Universe is entirely made up of elements.
The most important of which is the element of surprise.

Posts: 1040 | From: West Sussex, UK | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged


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