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Author Topic: english major/translator jokes.
eng_geek
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Icon 1 posted June 06, 2007 22:33      Profile for eng_geek     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I really need jokes about English majors or translators.. if anybody knows any good ones they will be much appreciated....


and just so that this thread is not a complete waste of your time i will post a joke:

whats the difference between a pizza and a math major?


the pizza can feed a family of four.

(Im an engineering major so we joke about mathematicians, but you can use any other profession you'd like.
also, instead of pizza, you can use a 'park bench')

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 07, 2007 04:53      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A park bench can feed a family of four? [Confused]

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spungo
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Icon 1 posted June 07, 2007 08:23      Profile for spungo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Steen:
A park bench can feed a family of four? [Confused]

Yeah, if you wring the sweat and filth out of the hobos' under-shirts.

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Shameless plug. (Please forgive me.)

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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted June 07, 2007 08:36      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A Ingrish transrato can feed famiry of fouh? [Big Grin]

Gohzirra is beeg rizard. Can feed vely many mo dan fouh.

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 07, 2007 09:06      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
spungo wrote:
Yeah, if you wring the sweat and filth out of the hobos' under-shirts.

So that's where hobo soup comes from!

 -

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Ashitaka

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Icon 1 posted June 07, 2007 12:57      Profile for Ashitaka     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Pourquoi parler Anglais

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"If they're not gonna make a distinction between Muslims and violent extremists, then why should I take the time to distinguish between decent, fearful white people and racists?"

-Assif Mandvi

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HalfVast

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Icon 1 posted June 07, 2007 14:57      Profile for HalfVast     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Q: How do you get an English Major off your porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

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eng_geek
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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 15:01      Profile for eng_geek     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
my bad.. i was really tired i guess.. its actually "the bench can support a family of four"
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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 15:22      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So now you're telling us that a PIZZA can support a family of four? [Confused]
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GrumpySteen

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Icon 7 posted June 09, 2007 16:01      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
IF the crust is stale enough, I'd believe it

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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 17:36      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You've been cooking in KoL again Steen, haven't you?

I thought I smelled smoke. Mmmmmm...mmm! How I love to make smoke!

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 18:08      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Erm... actually I have. Mostly stir fries, but I have the stuff to make a Knob sausage pizza if you want one [Razz]

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ScholasticSpastic
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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 18:29      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
How do you make pizza there? The best I've managed was Bat haggis.

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"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 18:41      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Use a wad of dough from your inventory and you'll get flat dough. Cook that with a tomato and you get plain pizza. You can cook that with other things to get fancier/better pizzas.

*edit*

You have to have an oven or a chef to do the cooking, too.

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ScholasticSpastic
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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 18:45      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sweet! I'm sooooo bakin' pizzas tomorrow!

[edit: where do I obtain a chef? that sounds fun]

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"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

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Richard Wolf VI
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Icon 10 posted June 09, 2007 19:13      Profile for Richard Wolf VI   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The greatest dish I can make is the insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito, it gives you the chronic indigestion skill.

It's pretty easy to make:

1.Wad of dough
2.Enchanted bean (at beanbat chamber)
3.Spices (at the sewer, needs a chewing gum on a string)
4.Jabañero pepper (at the hermit)

Cook 1 and 2 then cook the result with 3 and then with 4.

You would need around 5 adventures and 200 meat to make it (just an estimate)

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Richard Wolf VI
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Icon 10 posted June 09, 2007 19:20      Profile for Richard Wolf VI   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The greatest dish I can make is the insanely spicy enchanted bean burrito, it gives you the chronic indigestion skill.

It's pretty easy to make:

1.Wad of dough
2.Enchanted bean (at beanbat chamber)
3.Spices (at the sewer, needs a chewing gum on a string)
4.Jabañero pepper (at the hermit)

Cook 1 and 2 then cook the result with 3 and then with 4.

You would need around 5 adventures and 200 meat to make it (just an estimate)

You can get a regular chef and a better chef.

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The same old iWanToUseaMac... Who am I fooling? I'm getting a Wii now, iWanToUseaMac isn't :P
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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 20:03      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I should be able to finish getting the last items I need to make a couple of regular chef-in-a-boxes tonight. Let me know if you need one ScholasticSpastic.

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ScholasticSpastic
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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 20:15      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I have a spring and an E-Z Cook Oven. That's all. My character developement in-game is as tardive as my RL character developement, it would seem. Lately, I just finish getting drunk and use the extra adventures to get baked...

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"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 20:43      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What do you wind up using your initial adventures on? There may be a better approach that lets you get a bit more out of them before you start drinking.

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ScholasticSpastic
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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 21:01      Profile for ScholasticSpastic     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I start my day, eat all I can, rack up adventures and run around killing stuff. Then I run out of adventures and I drink until I can adventure some more. Then I run out again and I get drunk and cook. Why? What's better?

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"As in repeating a well-known song, so in instincts, one action follows another by a sort of rhythm; if a person be interrupted in a song, or in repeating anything by rote, he is generally forced to go back to recover the habitual train of thought..." (Darwin, The Origin of Species)

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 09, 2007 21:50      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
No, that's the right sequence. You're a disco bandit, though (I think), so you should have gotten the advanced cocktailcrafting skill at level 5. Once you have that, you'll be better off buying food (or hitting low level areas with decent food drops), then using your adventures to mix more potent drinks from lesser ingredients.

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Worst. Celibate. Ever.

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fs

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Icon 1 posted June 11, 2007 12:46      Profile for fs   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You guys should make chef/bartender in-a-box. Then you can mix/cook without spending adventures. Periodically they blow up though.

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I'm in ur database, makin' moar recordz.

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GrumpySteen

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Icon 1 posted June 11, 2007 13:38      Profile for GrumpySteen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I already made a couple of chef-in-a-boxes and sent him one. I'm in the process of making a load of meat maids now (I had a ton of spare bits, but I'm short on disembodied brains). Bartenders come next.

A farmer is me! [Big Grin]

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DoctorWho

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Icon 1 posted June 11, 2007 13:57      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A missionary goes to Africa to visit a community, a very old, primitive tribal community. He gives a long sermon. For half an hour he tells a long anecdote, and then the interpreter stands up. He speaks only four words and everyone laughs uproariously. The missionary is puzzled. How is it possible that a story half an hour long can be translated in four words. What kind of amazing language is this? Puzzled, he says to the interpreter, "You have done a miracle. You have spoken only four words. I don't know what you said, but how can you translate my story, which was so long, into only four words?"

The interpreter says, "Story too long, so I say, 'He says joke -- laugh!' "

Two translators on a ship are talking.
"Can you swim?" asks one.
"No" says the other, "but I can shout for help in nine languages."

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Laughter is like changing a baby's diapers. It doesn't solve anything but it sure improves the situation. Leo F. Buscaglia

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