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Author Topic: Lord forgive me...
garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted January 05, 2005 21:57      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Rhonwyyn, this one's for you.

Jesus is walking through a small town in ancient Israel when suddenly a large throng of agitated townsfolk rumble past on their way to the stone quarry. In their clutches is a young woman who has been caught in the act of adultery. They intend to stone her to death, of course.
Jesus calmly intercedes by saying, "Let whoever among you is without sin cast the first stone."
A profound hush covers the crowd as they watch a gnarled old woman push to the front and throw a large rock which hits the adultress in the head, killing her instantly.
Jesus shakes his (bearded) head, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Ya know Mom, sometimes you really piss me off!"

[Big Grin] [Wink] [Big Grin]
Guess I'll be in the confession booth this Saturday.

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted January 05, 2005 22:05      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hahahaha!! That one's really funny.

Biblically incorrect, though, since only Jesus is sinless. (Mary had the Lord's favor, but she still had sin.)

Ehh, I'd take burning in church on Sunday (or rather, Saturday, in your case. Do Seventh Day Catholics exist?) over burning in Hell for eternity! [Razz]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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Black Widow
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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 05:15      Profile for Black Widow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Actually, according to Catholic Church dogma, it is believed that Mary was sinless as well. She was born without original sin, thus the reason why Catholics celebrate the Immaculate Conception of Mary on December 8 every year. Mary would have had to be sinless in order for Jesus to be conceived without original sin as well.

Great joke though, and I'm going to have to go to confession as well.... [Razz]

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 07:48      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hah! That's a good one.

quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
Mary would have had to be sinless in order for Jesus to be conceived without original sin as well.

So then her mother would have had to be sinless in order for her to be born without sin, and her grandmother would have had to be sinless in order for her mother to be born without sin, etc, etc...

I don't fault anyone for believing that Mary was sinless (although I don't agree) but that line of logic doesn't work. How about "because she was favored of God" or "because we told you so, dammit." [Big Grin]

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

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Black Widow
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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 08:22      Profile for Black Widow     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by TMBWITW,PB:
I don't fault anyone for believing that Mary was sinless (although I don't agree) but that line of logic doesn't work. How about "because she was favored of God" or "because we told you so, dammit." [Big Grin]

That's why it is "dogma". Catholics believe it because the Catholic Church says its so. [Razz] There is no fact or proof behind it, just long standing tradition and belief. [Smile]
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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 08:55      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Folks, (especially Uber Editor Rhonwyyn).

I-T W-A-S A J-O-K-E!

Dictionary.com's definitions (any of the 4) for the noun 'joke' will do nicely.

So laugh if you find it funny; don't if ya don't.

But leave the theological debate to other sites.

Please? [shake head]

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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magefile
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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 09:07      Profile for magefile     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
"because we told you so, dammit." [Big Grin]
I think that they've already used up their quota on that one.

/me dons his flame-retardant longjohns

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Let them be stupid - the market will sort it out.

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 11:18      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
Actually, according to Catholic Church dogma, it is believed that Mary was sinless as well. She was born without original sin

I've spent most of my life trying to commit an original sin, still not sure I've succeeded, but it's been fun trying [evil]

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If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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DoctorWho

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 14:14      Profile for DoctorWho     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by garlicguy:
Folks, (especially Uber Editor Rhonwyyn).

I-T W-A-S A J-O-K-E!

Dictionary.com's definitions (any of the 4) for the noun 'joke' will do nicely.

So laugh if you find it funny; don't if ya don't.

But leave the theological debate to other sites.

Please? [shake head]

garlicguy,

I guess you didn't lurk around much before joining our forum. We do have a few theological discussions/debates from time to time on this board, and they are conducted in a most civil manner in comparison to some boards I have seen. We are not trying to convert anyone here, but just like anyone else, when a christian on this board sees something they consider inaccurate we tend to point it out.

quote:
Originally posted by Black Widow:
Actually, according to Catholic Church dogma, it is believed that Mary was sinless as well. She was born without original sin, thus the reason why Catholics celebrate the Immaculate Conception of Mary on December 8 every year. Mary would have had to be sinless in order for Jesus to be conceived without original sin as well.

Great joke though, and I'm going to have to go to confession as well.... [Razz]

On the subject of Mary being sinless, as you said, that is strictly a Catholic dogma. But not everyone who believes Jesus is the Christ is Catholic.

The confusion is of course in the interpretation of Luke 1:26-56. {No I am not going to post all of that. Go to bible.gospelcom.net if you don't have Bible and want to look it up.} The Catholics look at the angel Gabriel's words, and Elisabeth and Mary's coversation and say that since she was highly favored and blessed among women, she must be sinless.

However, there are many people in the Bible that make God's A list, and the Bible shows them sinning just like any other human. It doesn't take sinless perfection to be highly favored and blessed, it takes a heart that is willing to follow where God leads.

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Laughter is like changing a baby's diapers. It doesn't solve anything but it sure improves the situation. Leo F. Buscaglia

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csk

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 16:01      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
IIRC, the protestant belief goes something along the lines of

a) Original sin is passed down via the male
b) The whole "Virgin Mary impregnated by God" thing was thus necessary to counteract original sin.

YMMV, hth, etc.

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SpikeSpiegel
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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 16:08      Profile for SpikeSpiegel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
christianity is way too confusing for me

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its been a while

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dragonman97

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 16:23      Profile for dragonman97   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by SpikeSpiegel:
christianity is way too confusing for me

And you think it's any easier to remember all the rules that Judaism tries to impose on its people? Man, can't someone just have a simple meal?

Oy vey.

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There are three things you can be sure of in life: Death, taxes, and reading about fake illnesses online...

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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 16:26      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
IIRC, the protestant belief goes something along the lines of

a) Original sin is passed down via the male
b) The whole "Virgin Mary impregnated by God" thing was thus necessary to counteract original sin.

YMMV, hth, etc.

Quite interesting to hear, considering it was Eve who ate first... Of course, by the literal translation of the text, Adam wasn't somewhere else in the garden where Eve brought him the fruit, he was standing right there with her at the time, listening to the snake as well...

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

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csk

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 16:30      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by neotatsu:
Quite interesting to hear, considering it was Eve who ate first... Of course, by the literal translation of the text, Adam wasn't somewhere else in the garden where Eve brought him the fruit, he was standing right there with her at the time, listening to the snake as well...

Ahh, but part of Adam's job description was to look after Eve and try to help her walk a straight path (yes, that controversial and often misinterpreted "headship" stuff). He should have been trying to talk her out of it, but he didn't (and went on to eat himself), hence he bears extra responsibility.

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6 weeks to go!

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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 16:46      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by CrawGator:
I guess you didn't lurk around much before joining our forum. We do have a few theological discussions/debates from time to time on this board, and they are conducted in a most civil manner in comparison to some boards I have seen. We are not trying to convert anyone here, but just like anyone else, when a christian on this board sees something they consider inaccurate we tend to point it out.

Hi 'Gator. As it turns out, I did do some lurking before registering, but never witnessed what you describe above. Thanks for the instruction, I really do appreciate it. Religion, like political topics, is oft so emotionally charged as to bring out the worst in us. So long as folks are mostly respectful of others' beliefs, etc. then it is a grand thing to discuss or debate. That would be IMHO, anyway.

So really then, regarding this particular joke,
W*W*CVD??? (/me googled this out)
[Big Grin]

--------------------
I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Posts: 3752 | From: Pluto, no matter what you call it, is still my home. | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged
csk

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 16:54      Profile for csk     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by garlicguy:
So really then, regarding this particular joke,
W*W*CVD???

I think he'd ask the adulterous lass in question to turn around so he could get a better look at her butt, before making any final decision [Wink]

Edit: To provide context, the woman being literally caught in adultery would have been naked or nearly so when presented to the crowd.

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6 weeks to go!

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neotatsu
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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 17:00      Profile for neotatsu     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think by the very nature of being geeks, we should have very open minds as to what other people hold as their personal truth's. As I've said recently, unless you can prove it beyond a reasonable doubt, it's all a matter of opinion... And, even then, not everyone will believe it [Razz]

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I'm curious... About what, you ask? EVERYTHING!

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garlicguy

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 18:11      Profile for garlicguy   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
I think he'd ask the adulterous lass in question to turn around so he could get a better look at her butt, before making any final decision [Wink]

csk,
As I pick myself, the dog and the horse up off the floor after a hysterical bout of insane laughter, I am convinced you have known this man for a while. [Big Grin]

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I don't know what I was thinking... it seemed like a good idea at the time.

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magefile
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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 18:14      Profile for magefile     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Go to bible.gospelcom.net if you don't have Bible and want to look it up.
This is meant to be entirely tongue in cheek, so don't take it too seriously, but ... I prefer the Skeptic's Annotated Bible. [devil wand]
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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 19:08      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey, that's a really cool site! Thanks, MageFile! [Smile]

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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The Famous Druid

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 19:18      Profile for The Famous Druid     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I prefer The Glasgow Bible m'sel...

quote:

IN THE BEGINNIN

The Creation
-------------

It was a lang time ago, right enough, thoosans an thoosans o years since. There was nothin waur the earth is the noo - absolutely nothin at aw.

"Weel noo", God saes tae himsel wan day "I'll fix a wee bit dod o land - doon there."



--------------------
If you watch 'The History Of NASA' backwards, it's about a space agency that has no manned spaceflight capability, then does low-orbit flights, then lands on the Moon.

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 19:34      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by csk:
IIRC, the protestant belief goes something along the lines of

a) Original sin is passed down via the male
b) The whole "Virgin Mary impregnated by God" thing was thus necessary to counteract original sin.

YMMV, hth, etc.

Really? I've been going to church and religious classes since I was a baby and I've never heard that. [Confused] Maybe it varies by branch?

--------------------
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

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Rhonwyyn

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 19:38      Profile for Rhonwyyn   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
*Jumps on bandwagon*

Yeah, what Protestants are you talkin' bout, Willis? The denominations with which I'm familiar (Lutheran, United Methodist, Presbyterian, Anabaptist subsets) don't believe in the male passing on original sin theory.

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."

BTW, what does hth, YMMV, etc. mean?

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Change the way you SEE, not the way you LOOK!

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jordanv
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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 19:41      Profile for jordanv     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
actually the whole virgin birth thing was a pagan tradition, adopted by the Holy Roman Empire or whatever it called itself in order to get the barbarians to convert.

But please ignore me [Smile]

p.s. I'm Greek Orthodox..so yeah..

speaking of which..that priest is supposed to be arriving sometime within the next hour to bless the house..do any of the christian cults (eg Catholics, Protestants etc [Big Grin] ) have this tradition?

It seems the other Christian churches have moved on..not the Orthodox Church..Hey, they even still use the one spoon for communion.

Got a disease? Turn up to Newtown Church and share it!

Alwyas look on the bright side of life..that's my motto! [ohwell]

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TMBWITW,PB

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Icon 1 posted January 06, 2005 19:45      Profile for TMBWITW,PB     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Rhonwyyn:
BTW, what does hth, YMMV, etc. mean?

YMMV = Your Mileage May Vary
HTH = Hope This Helps

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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye."
—Miss Piggy

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